'tis the season

i realize i still have some updating to do on my recent adventure, but that is going to take a little bit of time, and i don't want to hold myself up too much.

so! i have friends, i have friends!

okay, so i know it sounds strange, but after two years in california, i finally feel like i am making friends! okay, okay, i know that probably needs clarifying. obviously, i have had friends here, but they have been pretty limited in number. i've developed a lot of acquaintances, for sure, but friends are a whole other category. friends are people that you can call when you want to see a movie, grab a bite to eat, or need an airport pickup at midnight at lax the night before thanksgiving. acquaintances are people you recognize and enjoy conversing with at church or fhe, but you never graduate to the random phone call invites. you with me?

jami, the friend who picked me up from lax at midnight on the night before thanksgiving

i can honestly say that for the past two years i can count the total number of 'friends' i've made (not counting the one i had prior to my california arrival) on one hand. one from my first job here, two from my current job here, one from my ward, and one of my roommates. i adore every one of these people, and they have been wonderful additions to my life. in fact, i don't know that i would have successfully weathered the last two years, frought with change and challenge, without the support of my family and these few people. the only thing that's missing from this particular group of friends however, is a y chromosome.

our christmas tree

historically i've been someone who has had at least the same quantity of male friends as female, if not more. there is balance in that. men provide different perspectives and different kinds of encouragement and friendship, and i have felt the absence deeply. i've even made a conscious effort at times to remedy the situation, but those efforts have consistently been thwarted by a strange singles culture in which, if you are friendly to a person of the opposite sex, they assume you want to marry them. this has one of two possible catastrophic results. the first is that they make this assumption and are excited about it, leading them to make unwanted romantic gestures. the other is that they have no romantic interest in you and don't want to risk leading you on, so they shut down and avoid you.

neither, as you might imagine, are conducive for developing a strictly platonic friendship, which is why it has taken me more than two years to begin developing friendships with some of the local single mormon boys. and it probably would have taken longer were it not for my roommate.

my roommate, heather, and i

my roommate, you see, loves to play hostess (a desire i lost long ago thanks to spending my days planning things for other people and getting paid for it). she enjoys and participates in all types of social activities, but she seems to especially like having people in her home, where she can share her love of and talent for good food and good company.

we've been in our new home (yes, i call it a home, not a house) since april, but between my travel and her need to resolve some challenges in other areas of her life, it's been a quiet home. ...well, as quiet as three girls and three dogs can be, anyway.

when fall hit, however, i was traveling a bit less and she began feeling more settled. the gastronomic result was a halloween dinner at our place. it was the first of many future gatherings, and we both really enjoyed the opportunity to interact with people on a more personal level, in an environment better suited to actually getting to know someone. i felt the seeds then of some potential friendships beginning to take root. those friendships have continued to develop, thanks to other gatherings, and my actually having been in town for a decent stretch.

xmas dinner

last night, heather hosted her annual christmas dinner - something she enjoys doing to kick-off the season, and we had about 15 people join us to partake in a feast fit for kings. for me, it almost felt like a thanksgiving do-over, since i spent my turkey day solo working on pics from my recent adventures.

my friend jesse drove down from santa barbara and was a welcome addition to the group.

jesse and i

we were also joined by scott, a long-time friend of heather's who recently moved from the dc area, and with whom, as you might suspect, i was able to play the 'who do you know, how did you get here?' game.

laura, scott, and i

i was also pleasantly surprised that despite being sick, brandon (someone i'd consider a 'new' friend) came to help us celebrate, which, as has been typical, resulted in some depthful and engaging conversation. i'm currently trying to make him my new bff, and so far, he's playing along!

me and brandon

we had turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, yams, etc., etc. and it was delicious (well, the turkey and stuffing were -i'm not a potato or yam girl). our living room was lit with candles and the glow of the christmas tree, and filled with friends, both old and new. after dinner, we played games and watched the first presidency christmas devotional. it was all pretty perfect.