underwhelmed

i realize it has been a week since my last post, which is atypical for me, but it was a quiet week. i'm not sure if it was party recovery or the ambiguity of not knowing what i'm doing next, but all week i felt as though i was simply putting one foot in front of the other to make it through the day. i have felt a bit under the weather, though not exactly sick, and that probably doesn't help. i think really, i'm just tired. i feel as though i have passed my expiration date here and am starting to spoil.

the desire to move is the only thing that is completely OVERwhelming right now, and it's just not possible for a couple more months. and so i sit and stagnate.

the response to the party has continued to be loud and positive. i've posted my favorite email at the end of this post.

they have started running the 'behind the scenes' piece they did in all our offices. i look fat, but overall am pleased. i'm still waiting for my copy of it, at which point i will watch it on a non-wide screen and take stock of my self esteem before deciding whether or not to post it:)

*****

friday night, anne and i in complete anti-tara fashion, headed up to the formal institute dance being held in annapolis at the naval academy. it was nice, for a change in scenery, but overall depressing. as i scanned the room of 300 or so people, there were perhaps 3-4 guys who met my height and age requirements. two of them were attractive, but they were busy talking to the tiny 21 year old in the fitted hot pink dress. story of my life. at least the company was good, and it gave me the opportunity to see some old (and unexpected) faces.

these things are always entertaining. i can't decide which 'outfit' i liked best, the girl wearing a gray t-shirt under her spaghetti strap red formal, or the girl who wasn't wearing much of anything. mormon 'formal' events are cause for one to sit and scratch one's head. to be fair, it is difficult to find modest formal dresses. to be unfair, i think there is a pretty universal definition of formal, except, apparently, when lds singles are involved.

pics are here.

*****

saturday morning, i spent with lara, nick, and nick's mom karen, taking engagement photos. i think there are a few good ones, and both of them were better sports than i expected them to be. for everyone but me, it's difficult to stand posed, with a perma smile, and they did a great job!

saturday night it was time to get down to business. i had stalled and postponed my lesson preparation for as long as possible. i had a complete mental block and absolutely did not want to teach. but when i finally dug in, it was pretty amazing. i got some really great inspiration, and just had the feeling that it would be an awesome lesson.

i wasn't disappointed, and as i had hoped, the class largely taught themselves. there was a great spirit about it, and it was one of those lessons that makes me feel a little better about teaching. i have to teach again next week, since i'll be in paris for two sundays. the title of the lesson is 'i was blind, but now i see.'

having recently seen the movie 'amazing grace' i'm a little more invested than i was in last week's. i only hope it will yield the same result.

*****

From: SRA Employee Communications
Sent: Monday, April 23, 2007 3:00 PM
To: FWDRichards, Bryan
Subject: RE: 2007 Spring Gala Comments

Bryan --

Thanks for taking the time to pass this along. As you might imagine, an event of this magnitude takes some doing in the planning department. As such, I'll share your feedback with Tara Van Atta, our events guru.

After Saturday, guru seems appropriate.

Thanks, again for passing this along.

Mark

---

From: Richards, Bryan
Sent: Monday, April 23, 2007 2:37 PM
To: SRA Employee Communications
Subject: 2007 Spring Gala Comments

I don’t know the faces at SRA behind the planning and execution of our Saturday night Gala at Udvar-Hazy, but feel compelled to send in my thoughts. I hope this gets to the right people.

My wife and I have gone to most all the holiday and gala events from the Gateway Marriott in 1995 to the one just ended. We were wowed at the venue of Carnegie Mellon Hall, again at the National Building Museum. Very impressive! At Westfields, we were amazed at the variety – rooms, music, food, people. Saturday, beforehand, we wondered just how this would be pulled off, with the ever increasing size of our company and the lines of people wanting food and drink. We knew the location would be a hit, but how could one find a place to sit down, a place to eat?

We were blown away. What a night! How do you top this one?

We got there early and got to see in advance the substantial number of registrars ready to check us in; it was a taste of the fine service that would last the whole night through. We were welcomed graciously. We had lots of real estate to roam that allowed us to drink in the event from the upper catwalks even before the doors opened. All night: room to get around, food without waiting, drinks without waiting, dessert tables to ogle from the first minute, tables to sit at, tables to stand at, pleasant music at appropriate volume, old acquaintances to renew, current acquaintances to share in our surprise. It goes on: a night at the movies, a tower to explore, planes too famous to touch just inches away……..

We had a marvelous evening. If this is this the only time we do something like this, we get to reminisce for years to come; if we get to do it again, let’s not change a thing.

Thank you, party staff. You outdid yourselves. And thank you SRA.

Bryan Richards

PS: The caterers must have this down to a science. How did they do this? You couldn’t get a drink faster on a slow night in the French Quarter!

party time

well, the results are in, and the spring gala was (dare i say it?) flawless. i said it. it was sheer event perfection.

the space shuttle hangar in setup mode

saturday morning began with nails, then hair. hair was traumatic. it's the first time i have had my hair done for one of these things, and it will never happen again. the stylist did not do what i asked, and when i went to pay, i nearly passed out when they told me the cost. i can't bear to repeat it here, as it was such a mistake, but just trust me, it was astronomical.

setup on the main floor

then it was on to pick up my dress from the tailor's. i headed to lara's for makeup, and truth be told, that was the one aspect of my ensemble that i was completely happy with.

while there, i tried on the dress. while far less poofy than it had started, it still wasn't exactly what i had hoped. i think they did what they could, and at that point, it was what it was.

finally, it was time to head over to the venue.

getting the party started

the udvar-hazy center was open during the day, so at 5:30, when the museum closed, mayhem ensued. tables were placed, floral arrangements set, bars set up. i have no idea how many people from the caterer and decorator and av company were on-site, but everywhere you looked, someone was busy doing something.

i watched in awe.

me with my two favorite senior vp's

at 6:30, i headed to the entrance to meet the vip guests and escort them to the pre-party cocktail reception. the reception was held in the tower, which gave them the opportunity to watch the takeoffs and landings at dulles airpot while they mixed, mingled, and enjoyed hors d'oeuvres.

also at 6:30, attendees began arriving. unlike any company i have previously been with, this company is full of early arrivers. though the floor would not open until 7:30, folks began arriving and waited out their time.

co-workers and i

registration was a smooth process with absolutely no glitches. there were no lines, despite the fact that 2800 people went through in the first hour. it was brilliant.

at 7:30, the stanchions were removed and party goers headed down the ramp to the event floor. the party was on.

what the catering staff ate

i would provide more details about the rest of the evening, but really, the only way for me to capture the essence of it is simply to say how incredible it was. people loved the venue, they loved the food. there were bars, food, and seating everywhere, so there was never a line, and never a need to stand if you didn't want to.

we had three showings of 'fighter pilot' in the imax theater, and the nearly 500 seater was filled at each showing. the band was excellent, the people were well-behaved (we've had some real drunkards in the past), and without exception, as far as i can tell, people had a great time. all evening long people were approaching me telling me that this was the best event they had ever attended, and they couldn't believe how perfect everything was.

quikpod self-portrait

it's also worth noting that i sat. and i ate. a first for me at one of these events. but things ran so smoothly that it seemed silly not to.

our senior staff took every opportunity to praise my efforts. in fact, one of our senior vice presidents literally got on his knees as he said 'i bow down before you.' he wasn't even drunk at that point.

the dress also received it's share of compliments, and several times as i walked by, i would hear people commenting on how cute the dress was. and oddly enough on more than one occasion (4 or 5 actually) i was told that i looked like marilyn monroe. a strange comparison in my mind, though it may have been the full(er) skirt.

since i somewhat consider this my last hurrah, i simply cannot imagine a better way to go. the team was incredible, the venue was perfect, and all the details came together beautifully.

my phone is ringing off the hook, i have been stopped in the hall every time i have left my office, and have walked by countless groups of employees 'buzzing' about the event.

leaving on a high note, indeed.

currently i have my photos up here.

i am also waiting for the photos from the photographer, as well as the behind the scenes video piece, and will post when i get them.

a state of mourning

today, the state of virginia is awash in burgundy and orange. it is hanging on trees, it is flying from cars, it is being worn by the slew of virginia tech alumni, family, and friends, that reside here.

i have considered over the last few days what i would say regarding the recent events, or if i would say anything at all. but i find that some things ought not to be kept silent, even if the words lack eloquence.

in large part, i have stopped watching the news. i find that a daily reminder of the atrocities humans are capable of perpetrating on one another is simply more than i can bear. i have the great blessing and curse of feeling too deeply, and were i to allow myself to get caught up in the wave of evil that exists in the world, i would simply drown.

news of monday's tragedy, however, was inescapable. and so i have read, and i have watched. i find that in times like these, i am oft reminded of a quote by c.s. lewis, from the screwtape letters. the devil speaks, and says:

we have made men proud of most vices, but not of cowardice. whenever we have almost succeeded in doing so, God permits a war or an earthquake or some other calamity, and at once courage becomes so obviously lovely and important even in human eyes that all our work is undone, and there is still at least one vice of which they feel genuine shame. the danger of inducing cowardice in our patients, therefore, is lest we produce real self-knowledge and self-loathing, with consequent repentance and humility.

and therein lies the irony. i find that whether it be a terrorist attack, a tsunami, a sniper, a hurricane, or a disturbed mass murderer, i never have so much hope for humanity as i do in the aftermath of tragedy.

heros are born, families join together, an appreciation for life is remembered. people are kind to one another, selfless and sacrificing. they are respectful and thoughtful. and they express love in their words and actions. the human race is never so wonderful and lovely as they are when coping with disaster.

so, while this week's events seem senseless and heartbreaking, the lives lost will not have been in vain, if we let those deaths remind us to be better than we are.

go ahead, make my day

i arrived home today to find a package from jesse, and inside, i found this:


basically, it's a 'write your own' travel journal. the book has maps and general information, and plenty of blank pages to plan your itinerary, record your thoughts, and 'capture' your journey. it's pretty freakin' awesome.

it was a wonderful, thoughtful gesture that reminds me--yet again--how much the people in my life bless it.

tales of a dress..and other event challenges

finding a formal dress with sleeves is the holy grail of quests for those of us who require formal dresses with sleeves. every year, i am required to plan and subsequently attend a minimum of one formal event.

and every year, i suffer from nightsweats anticipating the horrific process of finding suitable attire.

this year, i decided that rather than spend countless hours combing through racks at department stores, 'discount stores', convenience stores, only to end up with a semi-heinous dress because it was the only one that fit AND had sleeves, that i would beat the system by ordering my dress online.

i found an adorable dress, and it wasn't black, which was a bonus. it was a special order, so when i called to place it, rather than asking me for my size, the lady asked me for my measurements. i had to take them and call her back.

when i gave her my measurements, she told me what the appropriate size would be. i did not think i had heard her correctly, but in fact, i had. the size that she 'suggested', and nearly rammed down my throat, was 5 sizes larger than the size i normally wear. i kid you not.

now, i realize that formal dresses can run small. but there is no alternate universe that i'm aware of that has them running that small. not to mention that i don't know how any company could stay in business telling it's female clients to order 5 sizes up. i don't know one size 0 that would be caught dead in a 10.

okay truth be told, i don't know one size 0, but i IMAGINE they wouldn't be caught dead in a 10.

so, i pushed back and ultimately ordered a dress two sizes up, which was difficult enough as it was.

i was slightly nervous as the return policy is sketchy, and if they recommend a size and you don't order it, it cannot be returned. it needed to fit.

when it came, i was relieved to find that it fit perfectly. with one exception.

the skirt, with two layers of toole under it, looked like a circus tent. now, it's supposed to be a poofy skirt. but not that poofy.

so i dropped it off to have one of the layers of toole removed, thinking that would make a big difference. i picked it up yesterday, and couldn't tell any difference at all!

i realized that the toole was not the problem. the problem is that the skirt just has so much fabric to it, it had no where else to go but out.

so my co-worker called her tailor yesterday afternoon to solicit aid. the tailor said she didn't know if she would have enough time to complete it by saturday as she was also finishing up a couple of wedding dresses. she told me she couldn't be sure without seeing it.

so this morning, i dropped by the tailor's. she determined that it would not be as difficult as both of us had originally thought, and i will be picking up the dress on saturday.

now, since i will be dateless, i normally could care less. i'm not trying to impress anyone. however, since i am being filmed, that puts a different spin on things. i really don't want to look like a circus tent on film. a pup tent, ok. a circus tent, not ok.

so i turn to the other matters at hand...getting the freak out of here.

after an icky conversation with the cfo about an event in october that has not even been scheduled yet, i had an epiphany. the novelty of me has worn off.

when this position was created for me, i took the events from the gutter they were in and gilded them in gold. and now, years later, that gilding has become the status quo. every event i have ever done has been done to the best of my ability within the available budget. five years ago, when i took over, the difference was obvious, but now, it is the 'norm'. while renny was here, he never let it become that way, but now he is gone, and others are completely unaware of what it takes to accomplish what they expect accomplished. i am simply not capable of doing things better (significantly better anyway) without more money, and it seems instead, that they want to keep cutting budgets for events.

ultimately, they will realize the error of their ways, but it likely won't happen until i am gone. and that is the sad sad state of things.

ah, amsterdam!

i know there are a couple people in amsterdam that read, and though i don't know how you got to me, i hope you enjoy your time here.

now, i need some help :) my upcoming paris trip will actually begin with a couple of days in amsterdam. right now, there is one question i cannot seem to find an answer to--i'm trying to figure out how far noordwijk is from amsterdam, and what is the best and most economical way to get there.

i'm coming up dry, so any assistance would be appreciated!

raleigh

my weekend looked like this.

i headed down to raleigh to visit julie and colby on friday morning. it was a bit of a rough trip, as i encountered major traffic delays due to an accident involving two semi's that had caught fire/exploded/gotten eaten up by flames of some sort, and received my second speeding ticket in 3 weeks.

what is particularly annoying about this is that i have not had a speeding ticket in years and years, well over a decade. AND it's freaking 95! people were passing me going much faster than i was going (81 in a 65) and yet, i am the one that gets pulled over. my traffic karma is screwed up.

the highlight of the drive down was stopping at sonic in fredericksburg, where i enjoyed a strawberry limeade, chocolate cream pie shake (imagine a chocolate cream pie, crust and all, shoved into a cup and mixed together), and a chili cheeseburger. this would be the first of many sonic stops throughout the weekend!

i eventually made it to julie's an hour behind schedule, and the chilling commenced. i promised lots of pictures, and there are a few, but we didn't do anything particularly exciting. and it was kind of great. i got to do a lot of playing with madison (almost 3) and coooper (about 5 mos.) and thoroughly enjoyed that. madison was absolutely darling, and i really got to see her personality on this trip. she's quite a snuggle bunny as well, so i got lots of madison love.

saturday consisted of a slow start to the morning, a little bit of shopping, a drive through the nc state campus (where colby is currently working) and a stop at nearby pullen park. pullen park is quite cute. technically it is the 14th oldest amusement park in the world, and it has some interesting history to it.

the 'rides' currently consist of a miniature train that circles the park, a boat ride for kids, and a carousel. the carousel is circa 1900, and is one of 23 remaining dentzel carousels and one of 14 dentzel menageries still operating in north america. the music is provided by a wurlitzer organ which dates back from 1900 to 1924. the carousel is now on the national register of historic places.

after the park, it was back home for dinner. the magee's joined our cookout, so it was a full house. nathan and wendy used to live here (i went to high school with nathan), but recently bought the house next door to colby and julie. yes--colby and nathan are very good friends.

after stuffing ourselves with burgers, we retired to the family room, and dazed out in front of the tv. madison and i spent some time playing with her magnetic book (we spent a LOT of time over the weekend doing this), and finally it was time to call it a night.

we lazily woke up sunday morning, and had breakfast before i had to get ready for church. i had decided to stop in the raleigh singles ward before heading home. i met a really cute girl there who was very friendly, and made sure that i was appropriately welcomed.

after sacrament, it was time to head home. thanks to the current nasty storm system, traffic was a nightmare yet again. but i finally made it home safely.

all in all, the time in nc was a great way to get my mind off the upcoming event and just relax. it was exactly what the doctor ordered.

week in review

i admit, i’ve been remiss. it’s been a few days since a ‘real’ post, and i wish i had a better excuse.

life has been busy, but not altogether that exciting.

i spent easter weekend preparing for sunday’s lesson on the feeding of the 5,000 and the bread of life sermon. i haven’t taught in over a month due to some travel, and other miscellaneous events (ie general conference), and needless to say, it was not something i was looking forward to.

i was rewarded after church, however, when i got the chance to spend some time with an old friend. emily and i used to be in the singles ward together, then she got married and moved away, and i….didn’t. three children later (two of them twins!) and we were finally in the same place at the same time. i got to see her children for the first time, and they were darling! i also learned that emily is an avid blog reader (yay!), so i had less than expected to catch her up on! nonetheless, we laughed, we reminisced, and we talked about the future.

it was fabulous to finally have an opportunity to reconnect in person!

as far as the rest of the week goes...

my adventures in dating should be turned into a sitcom, and i'm learning to laugh at them, while simultaneously saying 'wtf?'

i had a pretty powerful father's blessing this week, which has had significant impact.

i decided to take a trip to raleigh to visit julie and colby this weekend, and confirmed that they would allow me to come.

kate and kendyl's move to nashville will be happening on the 27th of this month, and it appears dad and i will be road tripping it with her to get her settled in. i got the 'invite' because my mother is already a disaster, and did not want to spend 20 hours in a truck bawling the entire time. i don't know that i will be much better.

and i’ve spent a great deal of time working, as next weekend (the 21st) is my biggest event of the year. many of you will remember the trauma that this event caused last year. i am happy to report that this year will not be a repeat.

we (and by we, i mean i) have refined our rsvp processes. we (still just me) have changed the venue to minimize access points and enforce security. we (an actual ‘we’) have subcontracted labor, which means in theory, i may not be running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

i found and bought a dress online--which is usually one of the greatest stressors of all. it is always a challenge to find a formal dress with sleeves, so this year i got on the stick early. it's a darling dress and it has been dropped off at the tailor's for some de-poofifying (so, i made up a word, big deal). since i am not a size 0, it doesn't look quite like this on me, but you get the idea:


my attempts at finding a suitable date have come to naught, as a result of my need for a date i can easily ditch if need be. nonetheless, i am going all out this year and having my hair done. i figure that it is possible that this is the last biggest event i may ever plan. who knows what the future holds and what kind of opportunities will present themselves, but for all intents and purposes, this is, at the very least, my farewell tour here. any other events that come my way in the next couple of months will be dwarfed by this 4,000 person party. and as costanza says, you go out on a high note.

at this point, the party stressor causing the biggest increase in heart rate and blood pressure is actually a video piece that i have to be involved in, or rather, am the subject of. we have a 'company tv station' that appears in all our buildings throughout the country, and they--the great inimitable 'they' (name that movie)--have decided that they want to do a feature segment about what it takes to plan the spring gala...complete with before and after interviews of yours truly. in addition, it would seem that the night of the party i will be spending a lot of time with a camera crew, while they film me picking my nose. huh? i don't pick my nose. ewww.

i tried to explain that while i think a 'behind the scenes' look at the party is a great idea, it's not really behind the scenes if i actually appear in it. no lover of the spotlight, i am far more comfortable fading into the background. as long as i have a headset and can boss people around, that is.

i'm coming to grips with this whole thing by telling myself that it will be an incredible resume enhancement.

yeah. so...that's all for now.

plenty of pics (i'm sure) from my upcoming weekend in nc will follow next week! and maybe, if you're lucky, even a new playlist;)

'nuff said

programing note

i realize this playlist has been up forever, and i'm sorry. i'm sick of it too. but with the vacation, then the event, then trying to get caught up on everything else (i still haven't begun unboxing my office), i just haven't gotten around to it. bear with me.

thank god you're here

have you seen the commercials for the new show 'thank god you're here'? the premise is that comedians are given costumes and put on sets and in scenes that they know nothing about. a slightly different take on tv improv.

i am a big lover of improv. all throughout high school, my favorite days were days we had a substitute in drama class. it meant we would spend an entire class period doing improv. sometimes it was funny. sometimes it wasn't. but it was always a blast.

i can appreciate the talent required for this particular theatrical genre, and find that it is one i am always amused by.

the show doesn't premiere for a few more days, but nbc has put the first episode online here.

enjoy.

buses

short story short, it looks like california has ended before it really began. i'm bummed, but i'll survive. california is really far, and it's in a different time zone. man. i'm bummed.

trying to console me today, one of the guys at work told me that men are like buses. i think he meant that another one is always coming, but i simply responded by asking 'you mean, when you step out in front of one, they run you over?'

in telling that story to steph, she turned me on to this poem by wendy cope:

Bloody men are like bloody buses
You wait for about a year
And as soon as one approaches your stop
Two or three others appear.

You look at them flashing their indicators,
Offering you a ride.
You're trying to read the destinations,
You haven't much time to decide.

If you make a mistake, there is no turning back.
Jump off, and you'll stand there and gaze
While the cars and the taxis and lorries go by
And the minutes, the hours, the days.

always a lover of analogies, i couldn't let this one pass. i think it is extremely multi-layered.

in other news, i spent my evening hanging out with one of my other favorite couples, aaron and cindy. i think aaron may post some really terrible pics of me on his blog, which i may or may not link to;)

aaron threatened me with domestic tranquility tonight, and he delivered. other people's domestic tranquility is oddly comforting these days, and the chance to spend more time with caius is icing on the cake. tristan is darling too, but he's too young to care that i'm there.

oooh! i learned a new word tonight. does anyone (anyone but aaron, and without looking at a dictionary) know what 'gracile' means? no cheating!

a monday worth posting about

corey and jill returned from their honeymoon on friday and tried to avoid me all weekend. the nerve!

finally, i guilt tripped them in to letting come see their new married abode last night. though there aren't many recently returned honeymooning friends i would dare to see so soon, these two are the exception. we enjoyed dinner and catching up, and i loved having the opportunity to hear about all the little behind-the-scenes wedding details. mostly though, i just loved spending time with them.

sometimes it can be difficult being a single girl with single friends, and having to transition to single girl with married friends. i find that typically when friends get engaged, i withdraw. inevitably, i just feel like i am intruding, and i respect that it is a time of great change and re-prioritizing. as such, it is interesting to look back and see where marriage killed a friendship, and where it allowed it to fluorish. though unfair, i put the responsibility more on the soon to be or already married friends. i guess i just figure that my schedule is more flexible, so i wait for their phone calls.

corey and jill have been outstanding about making efforts to keep me in their lives. during their engagement, i often got phone calls inviting me to dinner, even though i basically stopped initiating such gatherings.

and every time i joined them, i never found it awkward or uncomfortable. i never felt like a third wheel, but instead always passed the time laughing and engaging in one another's lives. though i did not expect that would change with the exchange of vows, it was still a relief to have that affirmed.

i seriously love spending time with these two.

(this pic is apparently jill's favorite)

i recently realized that with my continued lack of interest in singles activities, the balance will soon shift, and i will have more married friends than single ones. i'm not sure that gets me any closer to my goal of finding my own partner, but at the same time, i find that my relationships are becoming more meaningful, and i am connecting to people in a way that is new for me.

i have a feeling this is just the first of many new things in the months ahead, so i guess it's time to get used to the idea!