home

it seems like i was just bidding adieu to october and already november is coming to a close.

that means i am also celebrating six months in my new home, and it was brought to my attention recently that i haven't said much about this year's move, nor have i provided photos of the 'final' result of all those pinterest pins i posted in my 'moving' album.

the truth is that though there were some groan-worthy transitions that resulted from my moving 15 miles up the road (an hour and a half commute and street parking, mostly), it has been a wonderful change.  i'm happier than i would have thought, to be out of orange county and now in los angeles county, and  i'm happy with the space itself (it FEELS homey).  but mostly i'm happy that my friend, comic-con buddy, and regular partner in crime, makes a perfect roommate for me.

in the six months i have lived in the home she now owns, there has never been an unkind word, an unmet expectation, a moment of awkwardness, or a boundary crossed.  i consider it a near miracle and a great blessing to somehow have naturally achieved that balance between having our own space and solitude and enjoying the interactions we share (although she almost spoiled a walking dead episode for me recently, and that might have done our friendship in!). ;)

so, without further delay, photos of what my neighbor literally referred to as 'the pinterest room'.  little does she know!

let me first give you a rough idea of the layout:

this is the view from the living room.  to the right, behind the coat rack, is the front door.  the open door on the right is one of the two into my bedroom.  to the left of the book case (yes, jami and i both really love to read!) is the dining area, and the open doorway is a small hallway. straight through is my bathroom (also the guest bathroom). there is a door to the left of the hallway that is the guest room/den, and to the right, the other door to my bedroom.

so, moving to my room:

i wanted a 'chill area'.  my bedroom is a good size with a lot of natural light and i tend to hide out a bit when i'm home.  instead of a dresser, i've opted to put my clothes and such in baskets.  there is a lot of mix and match going on, but i love it.  i also love my chair (from overstock.com), and the light gray button details are a perfect match for my target storage ottoman.  the lamps are another fun touch that i'm enjoying.

a couple of things i'll point out... first, you'll notice my scratch-off travel map on the wall, surrounded by vinyl paper airplanes.  it speaks to my current lifestyle, highlighting travel in a whimsical way.  at least - that's the goal.  fortunately (or unfortunately) i usually only get out of the country once a year, so it won't be too much of a pain to pull the map out of the frame!

it took me a loooong time to decide on what i wanted above my bed.  i'm still not entirely sure if i've really committed to that, though i do like these faux window frames.  only problem is deciding what to put in them. if i can find my old-old passport, i might blow up the stamped pages.  i think that might be a fun personal touch, which also happens to compliment the decor colors.

in general, i like details. things other people might not even notice, but that jump out at me and make me smile. these are some of my favorites:

light switches, 'bulletin boards', pillows, and instax photo displays (this one is a magnetic board covered in the same fabric as the throw pillows on my bed), all make for a slightly different take on the 'norm'.

so, there you have it (melissa)!  any questions?

designing woman

i'm going to be on the road for most of may and june, so i have been taking full advantage of the ENTIRE MONTH that i've gotten to be home, to do some future planning for my end of june move.

i may be a little overly excited. like. a LOT overly excited.  something about a move after four years kind of gives you that 'fresh start' feeling, so i have been planning and purchasing to make sure the fresh start comes with an aesthetic high note.  wanna see?

this is how the bedroom is shaping up...

and the bathroom is starting to come together as well...

muaahhhh ha ha. can't wait for the end of june!

i have. an announcement.

dramatic enough?  i may have stolen my own thunder by posting on facebook a few days ago, but if you hadn't read, i'm moving!

my new 'landlord' :D

the truth is, i'm not moving that far, so let me explain why it's a big deal.

my current roommate and i have been living together since april of 2009.  it's had it's ups and downs as we've discovered that we are not ideal roommates (though i think a friendship is possible once we are no longer living together), so there have been some challenges and some confrontations.  but, it was the first place i 'settled' into in california that felt like home. i love our house and i have loved knowing that cordy (the canine apple of my eye) was safe and looked after during my frequent road warrior-ing.

truthfully, despite the challenges, i probably would have stayed until i ultimately leift the state of california. but, last summer my roommate got engaged, so i knew that i had to figure out what my next step was.

a little short on wall space, but i'm obsessed
with the natural light my new room will
be getting!

the challenge for me was that i really am ready to head back east.  i've had that 'feeling' that i get, that a big change was coming, but every time i took a step in that direction, i got another 'feeling' that i needed to cool my jets for awhile.

being the control freak that i am, i have been filled with fear and trepidation. and it was amplified even further when the roomie and fiancee decided to get married in february so that he could reenlist in the military with the guardianship of his son already worked out.  and, because roomie is a teacher, the plan was (is) that she would stay in california until august, after their official reception, then join the hubs in las vegas.

i had a deadline, and it felt like it was coming fast. too fast. but every time i tried to move in one direction, i got stopped in my tracks. just kept getting that 'feeling' to hold my horse at the get and get ready to run.  and, as is so often the case, i get it now.

a couple of weeks ago, i got a text message from one of my favorite california friends -- you may recognize her from my many nerd forays (comic con, wonder con, haunted play, etc.).  she had been looking at houses to buy, on and off, for over a year. one week she might be looking here in california, and the next month in hawaii.

i'll admit that  i had fantasies that she would buy a place here, with two bedrooms and a fully fenced yard (for the dog), and that she would invite me to live with her. but as time passed, i chalked it up to a pipe dream.

living room, dining room, kitchen

according to her text, she had gone to look at a house in the long beach area (about twenty minutes north of where i am now), and she had kind of fallen for it.  a spark of hope was ignited, and later that night -- LATE that night -- i got a voicemail from her saying that she was going to put an offer on the place the following day.  even pipe dreams can come true!

after putting an offer down, and accepting the counter-offer, she officially invited me to come live with her in the 3 bedroom 2 bathroom bungalow with a fully fenced backyard.  i, of course, said yes. then got on my knees to say a prayer of gratitude.

it's everything i could have hoped for, and i am still in a state of awe that it all fell together so neatly.  while i am still hoping to get back east eventually, i am so thankful to have the burden of not knowing what was next, lifted from my shoulders. i don't know that i realized quite how heavy it was until it was gone. i feel lighter and ready to move tomorrow!

but partly in an effort not to leave my current roommate hanging for too long and partly because of my travel schedule, i will be a long beach resident come july 1st.  in a way, i'll be celebrating my own kind of freedom this july 4th. after spending the last couple of years feeling stagnant, i have lots of good reasons to hope that that chapter has finally closed.  let's see what the next one has in store!

a post to quiet the masses

my little cousin/nieces & nephews have a very subtle way of reminding me when i haven't posted in a while. they say things like 'hey, you need to post on your blog!' subtle, right?

cordy and i have been settling nicely into our new house. she's everything i could ask for in a canine companion, and this place is everything i could ask for in a home...minus the husband and kids, of course. ;)

cordy is a happy, sweet, and mellow dog. her tail is constantly wagging, usually with one of her front paws simultaneously lifted. i'm told that it's a jack russell characteristic, but i've never seen it before, and it sends me into giggle fits every time. she rarely barks and is an easy dog to have out and about or visiting at the cousins. she is an absolute joy.


her adjustment period has been remarkably smooth sailing. there have been a few 'marking' incidents, but wood and tile floors help relieve that stress while we work on stopping it entirely. despite her mostly laid back personality, she seems to have ended up as the alpha dog. she and suzy enjoy playing together, and she and lady, the lab mix and former alpha, are working out their relationship.

though they continue to settle in to the new hierarchy, it is not uncommon to find the three of them curled up on a bed somewhere..sometimes theirs, sometimes mine, sometimes heather's. initially cordy wasn't interested in sleeping with me (although she has been my shadow in every other way since i brought her home) , but after a few nights of sleeping nested in her bed on top of my bed, she has made the transition.

the first self-portrait

i've been doing some adjusting myself, but it has been remarkably easy. this house has been an answer to prayer in so many ways, and though the timing couldn't possibly have been worse, that in and of itself seems to be a testament to the 'rightness' of the situation.

there is a wonderful spirit about the house and we started to feel it as soon as we signed the lease. the landlords told us they were going to repaint everything and asked us what colors we'd like. they went above and beyond in a thousand+ ways. things like...putting in a screen door when we asked, replacing all of the light fixtures and letting us (heather) choose them, bringing us beautiful plants as housewarming gifts, etc., etc., etc.

could she be any cuter?

heather makes for an ideal roommate...we have similar taste (down to color schemes), we like things clean (don't laugh, mom), we love the dogs, and bonus, she cooks :D

so all in all, despite the crazy timing, and the fact that i'm convinced there are actually only 16 hours in a day (24..ha!) the last two (ish) weeks have been nothing short of amazing. i have a new home, i have a new dog!, i spent a weekend with my best friend (more on that in another post). happiness abounds.

wow

when i told my friend heather 3 ish weeks ago that i'd consider finding a place together in a couple months, then told her last week it probably wouldn't hurt to get the ball rolling, i NEVER imagined that in less than a week i'd be signing a new lease.

though i feel a little bit like i just walked out the backside of a wind tunnel, i am so unbelievably excited. i'm staying in huntington beach. yay! i'm a couple miles further from the beach, but i have a YARD, and a place where i can have a DOG!

i won't go into the nitty gritty particulars and all the little miracles, but you can probably guess there were a few, given the quick timing. so i'm happy. happy and grateful. yup, you heard me. i'm still off the man train but dangit, i'm getting a dog!

holy cow

i think we found a house. will know for sure after i see it today (my
roommate already has). wish me luck!

Sent from my iPhone

happy go lucky day

(the pics in this post have nothing to do with the topic of this post, but i love posting pics, and these are the weekend's latest. the queen mary was offering free admission to california residents for a limited time, so matt and i took advantage)

so, i've pretty much decided that i am going to be moving again. i'm even mostly okay with it. it's just time for a dog. not only do i want one, i think i actually need one. i've given this some thought over the last couple of years, and i think, for someone over 30 and still single, a pet, and more specifically a dog, is one of the best things you can do for yourself. dog owners have long been touted as being happier, healthier, and generally living longer lives than your average person. but even beyond that, i think it is a really good way to maintain the practice of sacrifice.


i find that the older i get, the more selfish i get. and it's not just me. i look around at others in a similar situation, and though there are exceptions (remember that i do know this as i continue my commentary), by and large we are a self-centered bunch! we have discretionary income that only has to pass one test--the 'I' test. "I want it" or "I need it." we also have discretionary time that only has to pass one test--"I feel like it" or "I don't feel like it." barring work responsibilities, we aren't really accountable to anyone else. those who feel more accountable usually just have a stronger guilt reflex. even our church callings are voluntary and we decide whether we want to minimize or magnify those callings. i've seen and practiced some of both.

i am the first to acknowledge my own inclusion in this group. my name is tara, and i'm selfish. (hellooo tara!) selfish and emotionally lazy. i know it. i always have been. it's something i struggle with. a lot. the big stuff i've always been pretty good at -- those 'save the day' moments we all get presented with from time to time. but the small and simple sacrifices have been a constant challenge for me.


there are some (in fact, as i think about it, most of my readership!) who take real joy in the service of others, who not only accept opportunities to make sacrifices, they SEEK them in an endeavor to enrich the lives of those around them. they succeed, and they find great rewards and great blessings in that -- even though that wasn't the point. i am not inherently one of those people. it is a struggle for me to respond to a call for volunteers, or to accept an assignment that is outside of my normal parameters.

i can't explain why, but being a dog owner helps even the odds for me a little bit. as my parents have often reminded me, it is a sacrifice to have one. after all, i'm 32 with discretionary time and income! foot-loose and fancy-free! and that is a big part of the problem. having to make decisions about my time and my money to consider the needs of another living thing, is, i think, a great practice to be in. it's a good habit to have, and a good launching point for expanding that into other areas of my life. and frankly, it helps minimize the self-pity, which is probably the most selfish self-centered behavior i can think of at the moment.

it's just hard to feel THAT bad about yourself when you're trying to fight off a french kiss from your dog. case in point, i spent friday night watching a movie at a girlfriend's house with her two dogs. at one point the lab decided that she had had enough of the bichon getting all the attention, and she pretty much attacked me. the tail-wagging licking version of an attack, of course. i absolutely could not stop laughing, which of course, fueled her even more. so for what seemed like a good five minutes, me and the lab, laughing and licking. i laughed so hard my stomach hurt--you know, one of THOSE laughs. hard to feel bad about yourself when your stomach hurts from laughing.


so i've decided to move so i can have a dog. i'm on month-to-month so i can leave any time, and as it happens this friend of mine is also looking for an out from her current home. so we are trying to find something together. the problem thus far is that places that will allow dogs will only allow two. since she already has two and i want one of my own, we really need some doors to open. i know i don't have to ask, as many of you indicate this on a regular basis (thank you!), but please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. it would be nice to have something good fall into place right about now.

in optimistic anticipation, i did something that may blow up in my face, but i was willing to take the risk. my little dog friend, who appeared in a previous post, is still available for adoption. i don't know that i blogged this, but i did actually go and meet her in person before i got the 'no' answer. i was so sure that it was going to be a yes that i wanted to get the rescue ball rolling. i fell equally in love with her in person as i did online, and i could not reconcile the fact that this would not be my dog! so, as of an hour ago, i contacted the rescue organization and offered to pay the adoption fee now, if she could stay in foster care until i found a new place to live. i suggested that if i had not secured something by may 1st that i would relinquish my 'hold' and forgo my deposit as a 'true' donation, and they could put her back on the proverbial block. it's tax deductible, and it's a rescue organization, so i can feel good about that.

*****

update: after drafting this post, i heard back from the rescue organization and am going to meet with the foster mom on friday night where i'll spend a little more time with the dog and talk about 'options'. this is a great sign - now i just need a new dog-lovin' home!

"where do we go from here?"

name that song, earn my undying adoration.

it's a gray and rainy day today and it suits my mood. i should be on cloud 9 after my (really) good date last night, but instead i find myself depressed at learning that if i want to stay in my current living situation, i won't be able to get a dog. i'm both mad and sad right now. mad about the lady who cheated the system and took in a stray with no consequences, while i tried to go about things the right and honest way and was disappointed. mad that in the 'eternal' scheme of things this would be something that i'd be denied. and so sad that this missing piece will remain missing.

truth be told, there are two 'missing pieces' in my life right now. one of them i can't control, so changing the one that i can, has become of utmost importance. the only problem is that now, 'controlling' it, means moving. i'm not on a lease, so it's feasible. and it's fair to say i haven't established life long bonds with my roommates--i just think that's harder to do with anyone after you hit the 30 mark. but despite that, i enjoy them, we have no drama, and my home feels like home. after my last living situation i appreciate those things even more, but what i really want is a dog.

silly as it may sound, at the moment, i'd take a dog over a man. after all, men haven't proven all that reliable, and i've developed a fairly apathetic perspective on dating. in theory i still think it's a good idea, but in practice i've become slightly jaded, wondering if i can take actions and words at face value or if at some point, like they usually do, things will blow up in my face.

don't mistake apathy for bitterness. i'm not bitter, i just don't really care right now. kind of funny actually, when i realize that i've been on more actual dates with more guys in the last two months than probably in the last two years. and i go, and i have a good time, and i'm over it. or i was over it to begin with and i just traveled down the path of least resistance, i'm not sure. last night's date was one that i was actually excited about and i wish it weren't so colored by wholly unrelated events.

it was a year in the making, this date. i met the guy online in february of last year and at the time, i was also communicating with spencer in portland. i don't really remember how exactly things went down, but i met spencer before i met tim (despite him being far more geographically suitable) and spencer and i started dating. that was that until tim contacted me again in january. my schedule was fairly out of control so it took me awhile to respond, but eventually we reconnected and decided it was time to meet.

take 1
"hmmm..my aim was off but i look cute in this one so i'm going to post it anyway"

honestly, i couldn't have asked for a better first date. he drove the hour or so from la to come get me (bonus points) and on my recommendation we had dinner at the best italian place i know in huntington. first and foremost, he is absolutely adorable. i'm always a bit nervous when it's an online meet, that upon opening the door for the first time, i'll see a flash of disappointment. it's not like that always happens, but it has (on both sides - to be fair), and this was the first guy i'd been excited about meeting in a REALLY LONG TIME. to my relief, there was no 'flash', but rather the most amazingly disarming smile. i was already hooked.

he's not the type of guy i would normally date. i don't know exactly how to qualify that statement, other than to say he's just different. nicer maybe? a little more, hmmm, timid isn't the right word, but i'm usually attracted to in your face guys that are 'big talkers'. you know, guys who always have some grand plan which may or may not ever come to fruition. there's something a little quieter about tim, although he's not necessarily quiet. i'm having a hard time translating from my brain to type, so let's just leave it at he's not my usual type.

the dinner conversation was easy and natural, and he was able to make me laugh. we talked a lot about a lot, but we started talking about traveling, which led to some related topics, which led to my asking if he'd seen the movie 'amazing grace'. he hadn't, and lucky for him, i happen to own it. so after dinner we decided to head back to my place and pop in the movie. which of course, provided the perfect opportunity for some snuggling. there may or may not have also been some hand holding. and there might have even been an opportunity for a first kiss if i hadn't gotten so gun shy recently about kissing on the first date.

take 2
"okay, no cut off heads. good to go."

the chemistry was really good, i found it easy to be myself, and i think he's someone i could have a lot of fun with. the only downside is that now i'm waiting for the other shoe to drop...it always does. and as most of you know, the last really good date i had is what brought me to my jaded apathy in the first place. maybe he'll be different.. i'm hoping (he really is very very cute) but i'm not holding my breath. and of course i can't stop thinking about how much i want a dog, and how i really AM a glutton for punishment. i shouldn't have gone to meet her or started looking at dog beds and bowls and collars and such. i am absolutely heartbroken and i don't know what to do.

bicoastal rambling

one of my favorite things about growing up in the dc metro was its diversity. it always seemed to me the most perfectly positioned place to experience history, art, music, and the dichotomy that is the great outdoors. free museums were common and easily accessible to a teenager via metro. beaches and mountains made for great day or weekend trips. good food was always in abundance, and ethnicity had no bearing in my life. it did not impact who my friends were or how i treated or was treated by other people. i will always feel blessed to have been surrounded by those realities in my formative years.


i have come to learn that california is equally diverse. but though it shares some commonalities with my eastern home (beaches, mountains, good food, etc.), it is vastly different. for one thing, it's a really big state. really big. which means the 'to do list' is much larger than any of my previous homes (va, nc, ut). sometimes, it's a little daunting. to check off many of the things on that list, a weekend is a requirement, not an 'option.' fortunately however, there is enough close (or relatively close) at hand to keep me entertained and exploring while i plan those weekend trips in the un/forseeable future.


i've had the opportunity to visit santa barbara several times over the last couple of years, and i'd have to say that it's become one of my favorite places (although learning that there is no target or best buy has put a slight damper on my affection for it). :D last weekend jesse and i decided to take another shot at butterflies-- particularly since i was armed with a longer zoom lens (thanks to my parents christmas generosity). you may remember that back in november we visited what i now know to be the coronado butterfly reserve. each year up to 100 million monarch butterflies migrate to california and mexico. they are habitual, returning each year (or the ancestors of the previous generation, rather) to the same locales. the result is that in each of these locations an unknown (to me) quantity (a really lot lot lot) settle in for the winter.


in november it was obvious that the migration was just beginning. though at that time, it was still the largest collection of butterflies i've ever seen in one place, this weekend was so far and above what i could have ever imagined. numbers aside, i was surprised and pleased that the butterflies were so active. the late morning sun seemed to be a draw and many of the monarchs were flying relatively low to the ground. the result was an absolutely magical experience, and of course, a phenomenal photo opp. i don't have the words, or frankly the photos, to do it justice, but that won't stop me from posting my favorites anyway!


there are moments, memorable moments that stick with you. i've come to believe that it is in large part because those moments surprise you or exceed your expectations. my most memorable moments vary from family adventures like snowmobiling in yellowstone or making a movie together to world adventures like galloping an arabian stallion through the siq in petra or getting (okay CAUSING) a flat tire on an irish country road. for me, this was one of those moments. i don't know that anything like this exists anywhere but here, and that feeling of magic and wonder will not easily be forgotten.

(internal monologue: somehow this post is going from a weekend recap to the inauguration. weird.)

this'll teach him

the rest of the photos, including our stop at the santa barbara mission can be found here.



in a similar vein on a different body, one of the things i miss about dc is that feeling that you get every so often that you live at the center of the universe. the history of our country is constantly being written there, and next week will mark one its most significant chapters, no matter what the future holds. whichever side you fell on in our recent election, no one denies the importance of what is about to take place. and though i'm content to watch from my sunny southern california home (or technically from my orlando florida tradeshow), i am both sad and envious that my immediate family will all be reunited, along with some extended family additions to experience this memorable moment together.

my experience will be different. i will be watching it on my dvr, probably a week after the fact, once i've returned home from florida, and my biggest event of the year. despite the self-pity, and since i probably won't blog again beforehand, let me say to all my family and friends who plan to participate: be safe (seriously) and have patience. be grateful and humble. be a witness, but be MORE than a witness: record your experience. blog it, email it, tell it, whatever, so that those of us who are unable to share your front row seat, can still benefit from your experience. and most importantly, have fun without me, ya bums. :D

other stuff

you know that book 'the secret'? i've never read it, but random people have told me random things about it, and if i remember correctly, someone told me once that one of the examples in the book was that if you wanted to get married, you had to sleep on one side of the bed and leave some space in your closet for your non-existent future spouse visualization to work. anybody read it? do i have that right? if so, i might be in trouble. i've always slept on one side of the bed, so i'm fine there. but my closets are full, and beyond that, i'm completely settling in to my new place.

and by settling, i don't just mean unpacking. i spent my saturday purchasing bathroom fixtures (towel rods, toilet paper holders, etc.) and replacing the current ones. i also have a mind to replace the medicine cabinet and light fixture. it just has so much potential!

i also went searching for window treatments, and this is completely new and overwhelming for me. the last few places i've lived have either had wooden shutters or roll up shades, but the new place had these horrible awful no good very bad vertical blinds. if they were full length, MAYBE that would have been ok, but my window is about 70 inches wide by 36 inches tall, and the blinds were old and yellowish and had this gross plasticy valance thing. it was the one thing i actually hated about my room and knew i wanted to change. i've been looking at options for a couple of weeks to replace the nastiness, but hadn't settled on a solution. i love the idea of roman shades, but after exhausting my google fingers, i still couldn't find any that 1) i particularly liked or 2) wouldn't have to be custom made for size. so i headed out to bed, bath, and beyond to see what i could see, and landed on a major score!

note: i recently replaced my bedding because 1) change is good, and 2) linens n' things is going out of business and had some great deals! the new color scheme is chocolate brown and blue. it's always been an appealing combo for me*, but the fact that it tied into my last scheme so well (the same blue and a sage green) made it easier to transition some of my matchy matchy stuff. i wandered into the window treatment area of the store and was getting a little frustrated. i was about to give up when i heard something. i'm not entirely sure what it was, but it sounded like angels singing. then out of the corner of my eye, i saw a light. when i turned, i was staring at the most perfect window panels ever. though made by a different company and located at a different store, these panels appeared to be made for my bedroom set. i looked at the price, and though slightly disheartened, i couldn't have hand sewn a more perfect match. so i selected a rod and went to make my purchase. which! is where i learned that my curtains were on clearance for 50% off. this my friends, is what we call destiny.

they are absolutely perfect and i'm really happy with the way the room is progressing, but what i'm wondering now 'secret' readers, is, have i sealed my single fate by settling in? am i doomed for a solitary life just because i want my room to look pretty?

*for those of you who may also find the chocolate/blue combo appealing, i discovered an entire website devoted to it today.

week in review

been a doozy! between moving, a big work event, and a last minute trip to santa barbara, i'm still catching my breath.

truth be told, i couldn't get out of my old house fast enough, so every night last week was consumed with moving, moving, and more moving. my new home is only a mile or so from my last and yet somehow, worlds apart. being here has lifted a weight even heavier than i realized, and already i find myself nesting. the instinct has lain dormant for some time and there is nothing subtle about it's reappearance. at the moment, i'm pondering window treatments and redoing the bathroom. :)

on saturday morning i was up early (5am!) to head to long beach for my event. despite the early hour, i was excited for this one. i'll post more later when i get the pics uploaded from my other camera, but i found myself on more than one occasion thinking 'this is my JOB?!' in a good way, not in an ''oh no, what did i do?' way.

after the event and clean up were finished, i rushed home, dropped off the rental van, threw a bag together and headed to santa barbara.

the santa barbara trip was semi-spontaneous. not on par with the utah trip, but not too far behind. originally i was going to be heading up next weekend to spend some time with a friend, and finally check the monarch butterfly migration off my list, but when jesse the weatherman called on friday to suggest that the temperature might be more suitable this weekend than next, i decided it was worth a shot.

i was slightly hesitant given the state of both my starting and destination points. you see, we've been on fire, both here (and by 'here' i mean that we had air scrubbers brought into our office building to help minimize the headaches and nausea from the smoke) and there (by 'there' i mean that just past my destination exit, i glimpsed a sign that said 'caution. fire equipment ahead') .

given that being stopped in traffic regularly causes my engine temperature to sky rocket (broken fan) and road closures due to fires, my hesitation came primarily from fear of traffic. but jesse was on standby, checking the traffic and providing me with a clear route--which on a warm and gorgeous day, also happened to be a stunning drive.

i arrived in great time, although too late for butterflies, so instead we went for dinner at what i think is my favorite favorite eatery in the area. i specifically requested beach grill for dinner after having been there once last year. it's a toss up whether it's the phenomenal burger or the spectacular setting that is more appealing. this was the view from our picnic table:


the rest of the night was no less awesome, what with ice cream, followed by hot chocolate, followed by bond. tantamount to perfection, really.

i will say that i prefer casino royale over quantum of solace but that could change with a little bit more sleep.

sunday brought with it more goodness. sleeping in and good food and voyeurism. that's right, voyeurism.


though not quite in peak season, the monarchs were out in droves. it took awhile to adjust my eyes and realize that the leaves i had been looking at were actually completely covered in butterflies. but once i did, i was amazed at how many were there. from time to time some movement would cause some of the monarchs to take flight, and there were a couple truly magical moments. i need to head back in january when the numbers have swelled, and hopefully i have a longer lens!

overall, it was an awesome couple of days. spending time with jesse is in and of itself a highlight, but the weekend was full of them!

christmas music, the playlist, the past, and starting over

seriously. christmas music? already? i was in a popular clothing store yesterday that i won't name, but starts with 'forever' and ends with '21', and there was christmas music playing. i know better than most that christmas here is different than in a lot of other places. it's tough to get in the mood when it's 80 degrees and the christmas lights are strung on palm trees. but does that really mean we need to start listening to the music at the beginning of november? is that really going to help?

*****

there's a new playlist up. sorry this one took soooooo long. i've been enjoying it for over a month now, but have been too busy, sick, inaccessible (insert other excuses here) to update. the first song is my new theme song, but the whole playlist is pretty awesome.

*****

so, the past is a funny thing. it's pretty good at finding it's way into the present. sneaky little bugger.

most of the time a present visit from the past wreaks havoc and leaves destruction in it's wake. over the last couple of weeks however, i have had three 'visits' which have been both surprising, and pleasing.

the first would be the return of an old(ish) friend who, i suspect, keeps hoping for a cameo/reintroduction here. i can assure both you and him that in a couple of weeks, when there accompanying photos, a proper reintroduction will be made.

the second was an even older friend, who i lost when he was forced to choose between his bride-to-be, and me. just for the record, i wasn't the one issuing the ultimatum, but as self-inflated as my ego is, i think the choice was and is obvious. that being said, it seems enough time may have passed, and he recently made contact. i have often wondered about and prayed for this friend, and couldn't be more excited to hear that he is doing well, straight from the horses mouth. i've also never been so glad to have been wrong about something.

the last appeals to my sick and twisted side. i learned yesterday that an ex from a couple years ago (the one that ripped my heart out, caused me to lose 10 pounds and spend months crying, whose name starts with jer and ends with emy) is still single. what is so gratifying about this news is that the last time i heard (over a year and a half ago), he was engaged. i know it's evil, but the fact that he didn't 'beat' me, that there is still one ex there who hasn't started a happy little family, and that it's him, just makes me think 'HA!! there IS justice in the world!'

*****

big, exciting, wonderful news! i found a place to live. not just a place to live, actually, but a place i feel great and peaceful and excited about! after months of misery, i feel like a burden has been lifted. i'll be moving this week ( i know, it's been crazy!) about a mile from where i currently live. and though i'll be adjusting to a smaller space (i've been completely spoiled by this house) i'll have my own bathroom, be saving a good deal in rent, and most importantly, be living in a place with really nice girls and no alcohol, or...other stuff. starting over is a wonderful wonderful thing.

you know you're a southern california girl when:

1. you have a permanent flip flop tan line
2. 84 degrees is hot!
3. freeway numbers always begin with the. ‘the’ 405, ‘the’ 5, ‘the’ 101. no more jus’ plain ol’ ‘7’
4. you have faced near evacuation due to wildfires, and delayed planes due to earthquakes
5. your driver’s license is too flimsy to pick a lock
6. you can build your base tan while shopping at the local mall
7. there is a one minute time limit on staying in the same lane while driving on the freeway
8. during 'orange' season, you can choose from 10,246 varieties
9. you have more swimsuits than business suits
10. weekends mean your bike gets more miles than your car
11. disneyland is a friday night activity not a vacation destination*
12. paying for car insurance means taking a second job
13. you don't ever, ever, never close your windows
14. the speed limit is either an impossible dream or a helpful suggestion

*okay, so i haven't actually been to disneyland yet, but this is true for 90% of the southern cal girls i know!

dear friends,

you are amazing. i am so lucky to have you, and i most definitely don't tell you that enough. thank you for your love and your concern.

let me reassure you that i am fine. not 'happy on the outside, dying on the inside' fine, TRULY fine. my recent return to singledom comes not with heartbreak, only with some disappointment at having to start over again.

i don't want to minimize the relationship by saying 'it's not that big of a deal', but in some senses, it's not. i certainly saw potential and hoped to see it realized, but i am old enough and FINALLY smart enough not to drag out something that is simply not meant to be!

there is no anger, frustration, misunderstanding, or regret. i enjoyed my time with him, and i care about him. he is a good man, and i expect that we will remain friends. long distance friends who talk every few months or so, but friends:)

i'm excited about staying in california. halle-freaking-lujah!! no offense to my portlandians, but that was an adjustment i wasn't super confident about. life is coming together here, and i'm feeling 'whole' in a way i never have before. i've been getting things in order, and not to sound all feng shue zen masterish, but i have been finding me, and i am loving the process.

i will say that i am over the online/long distance thing for awhile. which means i'm probably over dating for awhile (i don't know why--it just seems to work that way!), and that's okay. there is much adventuring and learning and settling (and job hunting) left to be done . so, here i go!

the house

as promised, here is the low down on the house.

i forgot to turn the sound on during the vid, so you'll have to make do with titles...

sast (expanded version) presents: friday

i’m not sure why friday calls for randomness, but that is the emerging pattern.

*****

i find it fascinating that different places subscribe to different beauty trends. for example, when i lived in utah, the trend was to airbrush the white tip on a french manicure. you couldn’t get it painted if you tried. and when i visited portland, i could not for the life of me find what i refer to as an ‘asian nail place’…you know, the nail salons that exist in every strip mall in the state of virginia and are always run by asians.

well, california is no different. earlier this week, i left a note on the message board at the house asking if anyone had a good eyebrow waxer. one of the roommates wrote back saying she has her eyebrows ‘threaded’, and left the business card for a salon. i have seen many places with signs proclaiming their ‘threading’ services, but i had no idea what that meant.

i was up for an adventure however, and my other roommate wanted to join me. we were awed at what we learned, and the outcome it yielded.

apparently threading is an ancient asian technique, although most of the salons that do it are middle eastern, and i’m told the indians have been using it for a long time to take care of those nasty unibrows. basically, the ‘technician’ takes some string, twists it this way, pulls it that, and voila, perfectly arched eyebrows. sounds very technical doesn’t it?! :) it is slightly more painful than waxing, but no more painful than plucking, and the results are far better. for one, no burn marks (which, when you have sensitive skin is almost a certainty) and supposedly, it lasts longer. not to mention that it put me out a whopping 6 bucks.

i won’t post the video here, but if you ladies are interested (and it’s pretty interesting), i found this clip on youtube.

*****

last night i headed to lezlie’s (previously referred to as lw) with my roommate ariane (pronounciation=arrian…as in ‘nation’)

me and my roomie (ariane was also my 'threading' buddy)

for a girls only valentine’s day party. co-hosts were holly (hb) and charity (ck), and these three are quite a team. there were plenty of delicious treats (i made a pretty kick-butt salad), but the highlight was the stripper. yes. i said stripper. only, it’s a bunch of mormon girls, and the 'stripper' is apparently quite the funny man. there were plenty of ones, however. and the fact that they had madonna’s face and hearts on them was on par for the function. (don't worry family and other jaw droppers, it was a completely innocent and entertaining joke)

valentine's day fun

*****

i finally finally found the nightstand i want for my room.

*****

the high in utah for the weekend is supposed to be 43. the high in socal, 73. why did i think this trip was such a good idea?

*****

tonight i head north to hang out with brandon and michelle. brandon is doing well, and is nearly finished with his chemotherapy. they'll start running tests in two weeks to check the results.

it's been far too long since i've seen he and michelle and i'm excited to resume our 'angel' marathon! only half of that has to do with my obsession of david boreanaz...

*****

have a wonderful holiday weekend!

sast presents: friday

me and cal ripken

i'm mostly settled in to the new place, though we (me and the fam) were all too sick to move the bed last weekend, so it's mattress city for the moment.

the conference team (or a good chunk of them anyway)

my commute to work is short. my commute to church, shorter. my commute to the beach, even shorter.

hard at work

on a total whim, and as a result of having an extra 'holiday' and an airline ticket that must be used, i'm going to utah next weekend. for no good reason other than the travel time is decent, and i know people:)

shocking evidence that it is actually possible to take a decent photo without holding
the camera a foot above one's head to eliminate the double-chin factor

it's a very small mormon world. between the co-workers, the roommates, and the random others, the connections never end.

that cute lw (see above) is co-hosting a valentine's day party with ck and hb.

they totally rocked the invite (see below)

here ends our presentation of short attention span theater. in the upcoming days, i hope for more installments (with house photos!)

one of those weeks...

...that you need a month to recover from.

first, let me say that the world got knocked off it's kilter. in the span of 7 days the following deaths have occurred (in no particular order): president hinckley, brad renfro, heath ledger, a friends mother (early 50s), a former co-workers husband (mid-30s), a family friends brother (not positive of the age, but relatively young). not to mention the other family friend, who, late sunday morning fell and broke her ankle, only to return from the hospital, and a short time later, fall again, and break her wrist, and the other family friend who had to have emergency surgery related to a suspected cyst (i believe). world=off kilter.

and before i go on, i should say that my heart goes out to those who have recently been victims of the off kilterness.

as far as the other craziness of the last week, it started with my first event for the new company. and also the biggest event they do. i recognize that i am my own worst critic, but to say that i was disappointed would be an understatement. lots of things i could have and should have done better, and i was more exhausted than i ever remember being. of course, this could have been due to the fact that i was coming down with a mystery illness that would put me in bed for the majority of the week. i'm convinced it's a serious case of bronchitis (i'm overly prone), but 7 year old drew has had identical symptoms and was diagnosed as having a virus. i've been self-medicating with leftover amoxicillin anyway...just in case.

fortunately, my self-criticism of event performance was not mirrored my superiors, and i have been rewarded generously and unexpectedly for a 'job well-done.' yay for my company! my employment there has already been a blessing in so many ways.

and of course, i got to meet cal ripken. those who know how paranoid i am about my height will appreciate this little story...

having had exposure to celebrities before, and more specifically having had photos taken with them, i am very self-conscious about my stature (which in heels, becomes 6'0). in one case i even ducked down for the photo, and the singer was a good sport and stood on his tiptoes.

imagine how happy i was to learn that cal stood at 6'4" and that my concerns would be of no consequence. now...imagine my surprise to find that when i approached him, he paused, looked me in the eye, and then downwards, and commented, 'oh! heels!'

it was not a derogatory comment, yet the fact that he consciously noted my height does not go far in helping me alleviate my issues.

that being said, the photo turned out quite nicely, and i'd be happy to share it...as soon as i get the digital version. for the moment, i have only a 4X6 print, and taking photos of photos just doesn't quite work. however, i have included a shot of most of the onsite staff cheesing it up at registration.

day 3... in heels for 14-18 hour days, and less than 5 hours sleep per night. yeah. that's how we roll.

after completing the event and packing up the materials on sunday morning, i made it home around 11am. i did not leave my bed until the following morning, and i think i was awake for a total of two hours during that time.

i arrived at work on monday morning, planning only to stay for an hour or so to take care of a couple of things, and as i walked in, my boss said simply, 'you look awful. don't log in. go home.'

so i did. i made a more successful attempt at work on tuesday, though only lasted about half a day, which put me out of commission on wednesday. yesterday and today were also short days.

i must admit that i haven't been really sick in some time, so i don't feel that i can complain too much. what i am annoyed with, is the timing....during/after the 'big event', and in the midst of moving preparation. my mind is completely foggy and my body sore and tired, yet, the moving man cometh. or rather...mick is leaving town on sunday, and i need his help, and his truck to move the mattress the fam has so generously bequeathed to me.

by tomorrow night, i hope to be snuggly tucked in in my new home, watching netflix on my new tv (which, as it turns out, has become one more example of how 'frugal' i've become since moving here). frugal is the nice word for cheap. but i digress. to what i'm not sure. but i'm tired, and probably rambling, and when i have my wits about me, may be so disgusted with this post that i just delete it.

yesterday i used the completely wrong word in an email..and it was an embarrassing slip. it took me well over two hours to come up with the right word. i really hate that. and today, when i went to ikea, i'm not exactly sure if i got the right color of the thing i got, because it didn't occur to me to check. and now it's in the new house, and i'm in the old house, and i won't know until tomorrow. and the boxes are so heavy that even if i got the wrong color, i don't know if i can bear to take them back.

but i paid less than 3.00/gal for gas. did i mention that?

living the life i've imagined

If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavors to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

-Henry David Thoreau

it is safe to say that in endeavoring to live the life i've imagined, i have most certainly met with a success unexpected. the last month has been filled with successes, so many in fact, that it has been difficult to know where to start blogging about them.

the most recent success is that of having found a place to live. i have been so blessed to have such wonderful extended family members who have welcomed me into their home, and allowed me time to get my bearings. and it seems it is finally all coming together. this week, i visited three houses with open rooms, and any one of them would have been a good option--so much so that it made the decision difficult. ultimately, i decided on one that i absolutely fell in love with. the house itself is quite large, and is the kind of place that i would be proud to have family and friends come to visit (hint hint). the fact that it is a 1/2 mile from the beach certainly doesn't hurt.


when i consider that several years ago, i came to huntington beach for work, and verbalized that were i ever to move to california, i would live here, i can think of no better example of living the life i've imagined. in my wildest dreams, i could not have guessed that that would become my reality only a few years later. and yet sometime in the near future, i see a bike. a bike with a basket, loaded with beach towels, snacks and some good reading material. this bike will be pink, and i will be on it on a beautiful saturday afternoon.

another great success was my time at home over the holidays. in fact, it may have been one of the most perfect family 'reunions' one has a right to hope for. though an exception must be made for the time and emotion spent coping with and healing from cyra's passing (made all too clear again by going home), it was truly a joyful time, full of laughter and love. the family was all together again for the first time in a long time, and my 11 days back in virginia flew far more quickly than i would have liked or expected.

the time was passed at various family gatherings, at kate's home, at the chapman's, and even at williamsburg and jamestown for a little sightseeing. a detailed recapping would take far too long, but the many many pictures taken by both dylan and i tell the story well. these are some of my faves:

kate's christmas party provided a wonderful opportunity to spend
quality time with both her and kendyl (aka cutest neice ever)

christmas eve was spent with the chapman's--a tradition so old that no one can exactly remember when it started..13 years? 14? who knows. what is certain is that the nativity cast is ever changing, although the christmas chimes all stay the same. this year, with kelly's presence, the va (which, in this case is an abbreviation of my last name, not the state from whence we hail) women deigned to sing together. it was not the only memorable musical performance of the evening, as dylan, dad's, john's, and lynn's '12 days of christmas' rendition will not be soon forgotten.

we spent part of christmas at mom and dad's, part at the movie theater (national treasure 2), and
part at kate's, with an interlude for dinner with our long-time family friends, the kidds.
it was a full and wonderfully happy day.

on the day after christmas, mom and dad, dylan and kelly, and myself headed south to do some sightseeing. the first day was spent in williamsburg, and although rainy, we enjoyed wandering the historic streets and shops. our evening was spent on a candlelight tour of the governor's mansion, which concluded with a dance exhibition of sorts, most amusing was kelly being pulled from her seat to participate, and watching her try to very quickly learn the steps!

day 2 began with a stop at the cape henry lighthouse. it afforded me another stamp in my national passport, and in fact, added another passport to the collection, the lighthouse passport. dad and i have an ever-evolving unofficial competition going...

after cape henry, we took the ferry over to jamestown, where we spent the remainder of the day wandering both the new visitor's center (ahoy, matey) and the historic site. it's been many years since i have visited jamestown, and the sunny day provided a great opportunity to relive a piece of history and spend time with the family.

since the family was altogether again, we couldn't miss the opportunity for family portraits.

and though limited, there was a little time for seeing friends. i can't explain why, but anne and i both love the middle picture. my thighs, and her mouth. some things are simply unexplainable.

my time at home was entirely too short, but coming back to california has been rewarding. new friends are in the making, and come february 1st, i'll be ensconced in my new home.


here's to living the life i've imagined!

reality

i just learned tonight that my records have officially arrived in the huntington beach 1st ward.

i don't know why, but it actually made me gasp. there are moments that reality sneaks up on me. in the first couple of weeks after my arrival, it was usually accompanied by fear and trepidation, self-doubt, and uncertainty about the future.

but now it's changed. the uncertainty still exists, but instead of fear and trepidation, it is accompanied by excitement and anticipation. one of my former co-workers farewell to me included the following comment: "six months from now, your life won't remotely resemble the life you have now."

isn't that friggin' awesome!