the haunted circus

i was excited to be heading back to texas.  i love texas. i'm a lot more country than i think i've previously realized.  but i was also excited because i'd finally be in the right texas town at the right time, to meet up with my friend old virginia friend, stephanie.  to clarify, she's not old, i'm not old, but our friendship is old. old like a fine wine that just gets better with time.

so, i had a lot to look forward to, and when i got a text from a relatively new co-worker asking if i'd be up for a haunted house while we were in texas, the ante got upped!

the decision was made to visit the strangling brothers haunted circus.  i'd like to tell you that i selected it because it appeared on 'top haunt' lists, or that i am particularly terrified of clowns, but really, i selected it because it was the ONLY option on a monday night.  which makes it a happy accident that it is hands down the scariest haunt i've experienced!

since i'm not especially bothered by clowns, i expected it to be 'okay', but it was beyond memorable.  being there on a monday night meant very short lines.  which should have moved faster.  but when i realized why it was slow going, i forgave the delay.  it turns out that they were staggering each group so that you were only going through with the people you came with. that alone made it stand apart.  i hate being lumped in with a larger group and depending on where you are in that larger group, you may actually see everything coming before it comes.  this was not the case at the circus.

also setting it apart was that rather than being set in some kind of building, in line with it's circus theme, it was actually roughly 30 big-rig size trailers linked together in some case and with some outdoor scenes happening between every 3 or 4 trailers.  this was also most excellent for me as i tend to get very hot in haunted houses and the outdoor vignettes gave my body a chance to regulate it's temperature.

but even beyond these seemingly subtle differences, the quality of the scares was far above average.  while not every 'scene' made me react, there was literally something for everyone. in fact, it was this experience that made me realize that my quirky 'cabin fever' --the one that would make me go driving around the neighborhood in three feet of snow, just to know that i could,  is actually a fear on some level.

there was one area in particular that tapped into the fear.  dense with white fog and populated with people wearing white masks and white clothing so that you could not see them until they were inches from your face, it was also impossible to find a way out.  we were in that trailer for probably 6 or 7 minutes, at least two of which, i spent curled up in a standing ball in a corner. our exit was finally made possible by one of the whiteys with a finger point, and i'm not sure we would have found it without the help.  we couldn't even figure out where we had come from!  it was soooo good!

i recently read a review on yelp where the reviewer, referring to some haunt or another, said he considered a haunt a good value if you got at least a minute for every dollar you spent.  we spent 25 dollars and it took a little over 45 minutes for us to go through the entire experience, never running into or being bumped into by any other participants.  they were truly excellent minutes.

and the texas fun was not over.  the following evening gave me a chance to spend a few hours with stephanie.  she had picked fred's texas cafe, a ddd joint that, it turned out, i hadn't been to. we grubbed and gabbed, and i was reminded just how much i love seeing old friends. i love that they come with a shared built in history.  i love that you share certain understandings and don't have to cover old ground, but can go on the same nostalgia trip should you so choose. and i love that you can just pick up where you left off.

needless to say it was a most excellent tuesday night in texas.

trick-or-treat

october makes me positively giddy.  i love the feeling of fall creeping in (at least, everywhere but southern california), knowing that the holidays and family time are drawing nearer, and i love love love haunted houses.

the 2013 haunted house season kicked off in september in san antonio, but october brought it back home for a little while.  first up was the haunted play: delusion.

my, now, roommate and i had discovered the experience last year and this year were joined by our friend kristina.

when october 12th arrived, we made our way to los angeles.  first stop, hyperion public, a great gastropub in the area, where we enjoyed such tasty treats as the 'f yeah fries', and the grilled cheese with bacon jam, pear, and mozzarella.  stomachs satisfied and tongues delighted we made our way to the bethany presbyterian church, the new 2013 location.  it promised to be both creepier and lengthier than the previous year.

we were greeted, given wristbands assigning us to a group, and ushered downstairs to the basement to wait for the experience to begin. this haunt is not so much about being scared as it is about 'participating' in the story.  it was fun to have kristina along since she didn't have any basis for expectations, and jami and i were itching to get started.

throughout the course of the experience, we were each given various tasks to perform, and at one point, jami and i were even pulled from the group (leaving kristina behind) to complete a totally separate storyline that involved plague doctors, musical charts, confessing our sins to a drunk priest, a near beheading...and there may have even been some spanking involved. eventually the rest of the group joined us and we completed the adventure together.  similar to last year, i did feel that the conclusion was  a bit abrupt, but over all, it was a fantastic evening.  it was much longer and the writing was more cohesive this year, as was the acting.  it will definitely go back on the list for next year.

the following weekend, kristina (who turns out to be a haunt lover as well!) ventured out to a local favorite, knott's scary farm.

at the same price as the haunted play, you can't beat the value you get from knott's.  with multiple mazes and rides, you can get a lot of bang for the buck.  but, it had been a couple years since i had been, and it was sooooo much more crowded! in previous years i had been able to do all of the mazes and the big rides in the course of an evening, but this year the lines were extremely long and we only knocked out a handful of mazes and one of the coasters during our five hours.  lesson learned if i decide to go back next year - buy the fast pass!

nontheless, kristina was good company, and i was really impressed at the increased quality of some of the mazes.  there were a couple in particular, where i also felt like the creepies inside were dedicated to their scare-craft, watching your behavior in order to scare you at the best time and in the best possible way.

and it was time for the next leg of the haunt tour, heading out of state again, and back to texas!

lone star state of mind

san antonio. a city i generally enjoy, although the river walk is a bit played out for me.  despite finally getting cooler temperatures at home, and knowing i was headed towards hot and humid, i was still excited about this trip. some of my favorite work girls and of course, getting to see the bulgarian for the first time since march!

and, while waiting for my flight, i got a call from my eastern european friend, asking when i'd be getting into town.  since it would be late, we made plans for breakfast the next morning. i arrived safely and without incident, taking up residence in the lovely and oh-so-familiar hilton palacio del rio.

after re-connecting over breakfast, we headed to the exhibit hall to get our respective booths set up.  mine was done relatively quickly so emil joined me for lunch before i made my way back to the hotel and he back to the hall.  i spent the rest of the afternoon catching up on emails, and when emil was finished for the day, we headed out to the river walk for dinner.  

he continues to be someone who's company i enjoy greatly, even though our opinions are almost always at odds with each other. not contentious odds, mind you, but our perspectives are almost always on two completely opposite ends of any spectrum.  in fact, i am constantly surprised at just how well we get along.  

okay, if i'm being honest, and introspective, i'd have to admit that there must be some part of me that appreciates having my ideas challenged.  even though he doesn't directly challenge them, just by virtue of his differing opinion, i'm forced to question, re-evaluate, articulate.  and, because i tend to be a get-along to go-along type, it's a healthy refreshing change of pace.

the exhibit hall opened the following day and i had big plans for the evening.  my new jersey coworker, sam, and i had gotten tickets for a haunted house (my first of my favorite season)! this particular haunted house had been listed on several 'best of' lists, and i was eager to see if it deserved the hype!  

phew! *sigh of relief*  it did not disappoint!  though we needn't have paid for the more expensive 'fast pass' version since it was pretty quiet, it was obvious pretty quickly that this would be different than my previous haunted house experiences.  we had to enter by going down an enclosed twisty turney slide in the complete darkness. 

awesome.

and the rest of the 'house' offered plenty of surprises and scares.  sam and i were glued to each other the entire time, and the threesome going through with us weren't far behind.  in fact, when we finished the experience, my shirt was stretched to three times it's normal size as a result of one of the other girls hanging on for dear life! it was a perfectly lovely way to spend a friday evening.

the following morning in the hall was uneventful. emil joined sam, vanessa and i for lunch, which continued the theme of decent food but terrible service on the river walk. our lunch took almost an hour to arrive at our table!  but at least the company was good. 

afterward, we decided to take one of the river walk boat tours. vanessa had never been, and emil had mentioned wanting to check it out, so the four of us headed to one of the boat landings, bought our tickets, and climbed aboard.

it was pretty routine (i'd done the tour two or three times before) other than the speed talking guide, until about half-way through when an elderly woman became limp and unresponsive.  needless to say, there was an emergency docking, and her family and a couple of the other patrons carried her off the boat while ems was called.  i still don't know what happened or if she is/was okay, but i'd guess that it was a response to the heat, and hope that once she got some fluids and cool air that she made a full recovery.

after finishing our interesting adventure, emil and i headed back to the hall for closing time. and then it was downtime at the hotel for a couple of hours before meeting up again, with the rest of the girls, for dinner.  i had wanted to take everyone out to gruene (pronounced: green) -- a little town about 45 minutes outside of san antonio -- that a few of us had discovered last year when we went tubing.  i was really done with the river walk.  the food hadn't been great and the service at every meal seemed to get worse and worse, and i had been dying to get back to gruene.  i fell in love with it last year and wanted to do more exploring.

but, when a couple of the girls wanted to stay 'local',  i decided that it was nice to not have to be the 'planner' for once, so i sucked it up and prepared for another questionable river walk meal.

it was worse than i could have even imagined.  a disaster on almost every level.  the food took almost two hours (i still can't believe we stayed), and it was terrible.  i was irritated and annoyed and a little embarrassed that i had the bulgarian along for this ugly experience.  he's typically a bit short-tempered, and, maybe because i was feeling that way, he surprised me with his continued attempts to lighten the mood and calm my increasingly fraying nerves.

eventually we were done with that horrid place, and as we were leaving he asked if i had picked the place.  i told him no, but that i was trying to encourage others to not rely on me so much for their extracurricular conference activities.  sometimes i need a break from planning everyone's lives, and they don't often give it to me when we're on the road.  his response; 'everyone has a role. see what happens when you don't fill yours?'

i couldn't help but laugh.  at the very least, i've developed a reputation for finding and selecting good restaurants, so i guess i'll try to stop being annoyed when people want me to do just that.

after dinner we all needed an attitude adjustment, so we cruised the walk looking for a soft and happy place to land.  we were more fortunate than in our dinner location and spent the next few hours chatting, dancing, and laughing before calling it a night.

the following day was the last of the conference.  after successfully shutting down the booth and with the afternoon open for play, i convinced sam to join me for a road trip to gruene.  and she too fell in love with the place, commenting several times that we should have come the previous night.

it has a relaxed, small town america feel, as well as having a rich country music history.  gruene hall has long been a regular stop for some of country's most well recognized performers.  and, even in the middle of the afternoon, as we explored the town following our amazing meal (with excellent service!) there were several venues with live bands playing on stages and outdoor patios.  it was bliss and i will have to make this a regular stop anytime i'm in san antonio!

with an early flight the next morning, we headed back to our hotel to pack and settle in for the night. and thus ended another trip to the lone star state...where i'll be heading back to next month!  oh well, at least i get a three week travel break to catch up on laundry and dog snuggles.

delusion: the blood rite

my slight obsession with nathan fillion led to a recent discovery of a haunted house in los angeles.  a slightly different kind of haunted house.  an interactive haunted house.  an interactive haunted house co-produced by neil patrick harris and a well-known hollywood stunt man. 

knowing she’d be up for it, i invited my friend jami to join me, and we bought our tickets weeks in advance for an almost sold out run of delusion: the blood rite.  in fact, october was completely sold out, so we purchased tickets for november 9^th.  and tonight was the night.

on our way to la, we planned to stop for dinner, but our destination changed as we drove by a restaurant with a cool sign.  yes, a sign.  it was upscale 50’s, and it was interesting enough that we decided to check the place out.  ironically, we thought it was a completely ‘random’ restaurant, but, as it turns out, it’s been featured in many articles and publications, many of which were on display in the bathroom hallway. and, lucky for us, the food was excellent.

after dinner, we headed north to la and got ourselves checked in at the run-down-mansion-cum haunted play.  we would be in the ‘maggot debridement’ group.  there was a food truck on site, as well as a bar, but mostly we passed the 20-30 minute wait listening to the comments of the other groups coming out of the house.

when the ‘maggots’ were called, we made our way down a staircase in the backyard where we waited for the rest of the group to gather.  there were 10 of us total, 2 couples, 4 members of a harry potter fan club (who pretty much only communicated in terms of hp. i.e. “he may be gryffindor now, but he’ll be hufflepuff by the end of the night!”)

our group was gathered on the staircase landing, next to a ‘cemetery’  and our guide gave us a few rules.  the standard ‘no photos’, and the less standard, ‘don’t touch the actors, but they CAN touch you’.

she then asked if anyone in the group had type o blood.  several raised their hands (is it weird i have no idea what my blood type is??) and she took particular interest in the two with o-, asking them to come forward and be in the front of the group as we slowly filed passed the graves, listening to an audio recording of who we were and why we were here.

we made our way around the graves as the audio ended, and were stopped by our guide at the elaborate gates of a more ‘formal’ graveyard.  there, she asked who was the bravest of the group and the 3 hp girls pointed to their one male member.  the guide remarked that his companions thought he was brave, but he didn’t seem so sure.  he responded that he would be brave, no, he WAS brave, and she then gave him a satchel to keep safe.  she then assessed our group, came to me, and handed me a bottle of liquor.  i remarked that it might come in handy, and she replied that it would.

she then gave us our first task.  we were to go into the graveyard, find the gravedigger, and somehow convince him to give us a vial once belonging to the now deceased ‘master of the house’ and mad scientist of sorts.

we headed inside and sure enough, found the gravedigger, in a grave, on top of a coffin.  he asked what our purpose was and satchel guy told him that we had come for the vial.  he then climbed out of the grave, giving us a few more pieces to the story, before saying he might need a little help to loosen his tongue and reveal the location of the vial.

i pulled out the bottle of liquor and asked if it would help, and he said that indeed it would. at which point, he told us that the vial had been buried with lowell (the master) and that we would have to get it for ourselves.  so, satchel guy jumped in the grave, opened the coffin, and removed the vial.

our guide ‘found us’ again to take us to the front of the mansion, where we gathered around the front steps.  there was a young girl on the balcony above, singing "ring around the rosie" while swinging her doll around.  when the doll dropped, jami headed up the steps to retrieve it.  she threatened jami by telling her that she would get the doll from her corpse later.

the guide then suggests that we knock on the door - which i do - but no one answers.  so, the girl begins asking some of the group members how many people they killed in the war (we had just returned from), and after getting less than satisfactory answers, moves on to chastising jami for not holding the baby like a baby.  she then tells her to rock the baby, to sing a lullaby to her, and for the rest of us to help her sing.

 it’s then that the front door opens, and we are quickly ushered inside by a woman we learn is anna, dr. lowell’s daughter.  she tries to jog our memories, telling us about her father, about the time we were here before the war, and why we have come back.

i have to pause here to mention the ‘set’.  it is truly incredible.  it feels real.  the attention to detail is outstanding and the actors are extremely well cast.  while we are listening to her dialogue in the foyer, a ‘creature’ slithers down the stairs, and i immediately have one of the great ‘creep out’ moments of the evening.  she finishes the introduction, giving some background on these creatures, then guides us into the adjacent study.

once inside the study she tells us that we need to find three objects...a journal which has the combination for the safe behind door #1, a dagger, and a key. she tells us that we must first get the key to open the door behind which is the safe.  she selects one of the harry potter girls, and me, to go through door #2, down a long hallway, into the kitchen where the butcher resides.  she cautions us not to be very quiet and not to wake him.

we creep down the hallway, not sure what to expect, and for me, this would turn out to be the scariest moment of the evening.  something about being separated from the safety of the larger group amps up the fright level exponentially!  we make our way into the kitchen, barely stifling our nervous laughter, and the 4’ tall hp chick, sort of, silently gets on her tiptoes to retrieve the key from above the butcher’s head.  She grabs them and we make a break for it, running back to the study.  (i understand that sometimes, upon arriving in the kitchen, the door shuts behind you and the butcher ‘terrorizes’ you.)

when we re-entered the study, the rest of the group was gathered around the desk, having just discovered the location of the safe’s combination. as anna begins to open the safe, a body falls out, and the butcher pounds on the door we’ve just come in from.  anna rebukes us for waking him before letting him in and allowing him to ‘have his fun’ with the body in the safe.

she rushes us past him into a room where we see a woman, standing on a chair, with a noose around her neck.  she explains that this is her sister, who has contracted a terrible and highly contagious disease that will infect us all, unless we kill her now.  she then reminds us that when we were here before the war, dr. lowell’s experiments resulted in some unique powers – including telekinesis – and that she suspected we still had the skill.

she tells us to put our hands out, and to push the chair out from under the woman with our minds.  and the chair goes flying backwards, hanging the woman in the process.

remember when i said that one of the producers is a stuntman?  as a result, the ‘action’ is impressive.  better and more impressive than anything i’ve previously seen.  in fact, i’m still trying to figure out how the creepy crawly guy on the front stairs made me feel like i was in the grudge.

at any rate, after we’d all committed murder, anna leads us into the music room, where we find a one-armed soldier pecking out keys on the piano.  it turns out that he was anna’s sister’s lover and he is pretty ticked that we’ve just killed his girlfriend.  he tells anna that he will take someone from her in exchange.  and to decide who that is, we will play a game of musical chairs.

jami and i find seats, but one gentlemen isn’t so lucky.  the one arm soldier muscles him into the room next door, knife at his neck, with us following behind.

in this room we find a heavyset girl, dancing, with the dagger.  the one-armed soldier tells us that the only way he will release our ‘friend’ is if we retrieve the dagger, and in order for us to retrieve the dagger, someone needs to dance with her, and dance well.

anna selects another gentleman in our group and says that since he seems to think this is so funny, he can try his luck. he begins to dance with her and she is clearly not pleased.  she bemoans his skill and wonders if it is her form that is not pleasing.  she tells us that she can appear any way she wants and proves it by going behind a curtain and returning as a ‘beautiful’ woman.  anna indicates that we have to try again and she selects me as the dancing partner.

i’m apparently a better dancer, and she giggles and twirls, and hands me the dagger.

after securing the dagger, our group member is returned, and anna takes us upstairs. she stops us on the landing, tells us that ‘grandma’ is in the bathtub at the end of the hallway, and that she has a key around her neck that one of us must retrieve.  one of the guys pushes his girlfriend forward, and anna tells her that she has put grandma in a trance, but that she doesn’t know how long it will last.

the girl makes her way down the hallway, and as soon as she gets inside the bathroom, the door slams shut behind her, separating her from the rest of us.  the butcher then appears in front of the bathroom door to attack us and we all use our telekinesis to keep him at bay.  it’s a struggle at first, but eventually with one great push, he goes flying about 40 feet down the hallway and disappears,  anna pushes us all into the room at the top of the stairs and the door to the closes quickly - with anna still in the hallway - revealing a man behind it.

he tells us that he is anna’s brother and that all along, she has been tricking us.  that her real purpose is to summon a demon, and that she has used us to accomplish certain tasks for that ritual.  he tells us that in the end, she will drain us of our blood to raise the demon.

charles, the brother, then notices that we are missing someone, and reluctantly agrees to help us get her back. he is clearly afraid, but leads us through a couple of small rooms, and before opening the door to the last room, tells us that whatever we do, we have to smile big and keep smiling.

we enter the room to find a girl in pigtails, talking to our lost group member, who has been tucked into bed.

the girl tells us that she is reading her best friend to sleep, and charles encourages her to let our ‘friend’ go.  she refuses, repeating that this is her best friend, and she’s having fun, and wants to play a game.  she then brandishes a large knife.

charles laments what he believes is about to happen and asks if anyone can think of a way to distract her.  jami, still carrying the doll, suggests that the baby might help, and charles thinks that is a wonderful idea.  he reasons with pigtail girl and suggests that the doll will be more fun – that the doll can dance!  he whispers to jami: ‘show her!’ and jami makes a naked baby doll dance.

pigtail girl concedes that this is more fun, and she takes the doll, letting our friend return to the group.  we head out of the room quickly, and are greeted next door by grandma. she’s feeling a little weak, and is looking for the strongest guy with the most potent seed and some good blood to ‘revive her’.

she chooses one and tells him to lay down on the bed.  he complies, warily, and charles suggests she try the blood in the vial, which he has (unbeknownst to her) infected with a quick acting plague in an attempt to kill anna.  she takes a sip and makes her way to the bed, where, just before she kisses the man, suffers a violent reaction to the tainted blood.  while she rails against charles and begins dying, we are hurried down a hallway and down stairs with a number of creatures hanging and slithering above and in front of us.

we quickly walk under them and once back down stairs are told we have to go into the basement, and that charles cannot accompany us. we do as we are instructed and find anna and an acolyte down below.

anna finally reveals her deception and instructs her acolyte to put us in a cage.  instead, annoyed with a comment from one of the group members, he ushers us into a pitch black room.  we can literally see nothing, and all i know is that strangers have locked grips on both my arms, with jami a couple people down from me (i think) and the sound of rattling chains is getting closer.  when our eyes begin to adjust and we start to see the image of a woman coming closer, anna intervenes, pulling us out of the room and into the aforementioned cage.

the acolyte then chooses a sacrifice (the same girl who got the bedtime stories) and chains her to the wall.  anna takes her place on a pentagram outside the cage and begins the summoning.  but something goes wrong.

the ceiling is falling down around them and a demon appears (at this moment, i truly felt like i was in an episode of buffy the vampire slayer), but the demon is upset with anna, and begins to attack.

while distracted, charles rushes in to release us from the cage and get us out of the mansion, at which point, the story is over.

so. that is the experience in its play by play form.  i left mostly in awe, with only slightly mixed feelings about the whole thing.  ultimately, i’m soooo glad i did it. i had hoped for a higher 'scare factor' and it was a challenge to follow the story, which came to an abrupt and unsatisfying ending, but i thought the actors were fantastic, and i did really love the small group size, the inter-activity, the task completion, the successful separation and return of group members, and the effects.  i would do it again, but i think next time, i’d like to go with a bigger group of my own friends to share the experience with.  definitely a very unique experience!