ex-boyfriends suck

so, my ex (ironically the one i was reminded of all day yesterday), who is now married to a girl 10 years his junior deigned to say hello on im again. this is how it went:

Vance: hi what's up
Tara: not too much
Tara: how are u
Vance: Good!
Vance: We're expecting in OCT!!!!!!
Tara: ha ha
Vance: :D :D :D
Tara: i knew it was coming one of these days
Tara: congrats
Vance: thanks!
Tara: :)
Vance: I'm thinking twins, but Amanda isn't so sure
Vance: She seems reluctant to want twins.... I can't figure out why.....
Vance: hey your coming up on the big 30 aren't you.

okay, i'm i the only one who thinks this justifies murder? if that part of the exchange wasn't bad enough, when i explained that he was a jerk, he actually had the gall to appear unsure as to the reason. hmmm. gosh. wonder why i would be upset that your 20 year old bride is expecting and you've just reminded me i'll be turning 30 without having had the same opportunity. of all the things he is, stupid is not one of them. ultimately, i ended up logging off and blocking him. that resulted in the following email:

From : Vance Sent : Tuesday, February 28, 2006 11:42 PM To : tara Subject : Vance is an idiot

I just wanted to apologize. That was incredibly insensitive of me and you have every right to be upset with me and not ever want to talk to me again. Personally I hope you will be as gracious as always and once again forgive me my trespasses. I hope that you can still be my friend.


so how exactly is it a friendship when the only time you want to communicate with me is when you have something to rub in my face? what did i do to deserve that? i treated you better than you ever deserved. is it because i turned you down when you proposed to me? if i remember correctly, that came six months after you told me 'you are not the girl i'm going to marry. the girl i'm going to marry is in utah.' and then you left.

so, surely you can't be trying to punish me for turning you down, even if i did so by telling you 'i'm not the girl you're going to marry. the girl you're going to marry is in utah.' i think based on your treatment, i had earned the right to a little contempt. maybe it's just that you know and have always known that i was too good for you, and the only way you can feel okay about yourself is to continually try and 'one up' me. maybe you are just an absolute (insert swear word here).

no, we can't be friends. we haven't been friends in a long time. and i'm done deluding myself.

i hate this week...so much for smooth transitions;)

*names have not been changed to protect the innocent. if he was innocent, i would have changed his name*

yeah, so

i've been trying to come up with a reason to post this story from a couple weeks ago. it really really amuses me--i've read it five or six times now. so, i have decided that 'just because' is a good enough reason.

Paris Hilton makes Redford crazy!

Posted Feb 13th 2006 12:02PM by Martha Fischer
Filed under: Sundance, Celebrities and Controversy, Newsstand

It's come to this, then: Sundance founder Robert Redford is so put off by what his creation has become that he can hardly stand to attend the damn thing. Though he did show up for the festival's opening night, Redford apparently took off shortly thereafter, possibly in an effort to avoid the plague of "starlets." Talking to the AP yesterday, the actor could barely contain his disgust, telling reporters that Sundance is now seen as "a big fat market where you have people like Paris Hilton going to parties." Paris? Really? Why, whatever was she doing there (apart, that is, from posing and trying to score free stuff)? Redford sure as hell doesn't know. "She doesn't have anything to do with anything. I think the festival is close to being out of control."

How great is it that the presence of Paris Hilton was the final straw for Redford? It's fun to imagine him walking down the street peacefully, only to see her and run screaming in the other direction. The next day, he was on a flight out of town.

nothing comes easy

so i thought, hey, a monday is a great day to do a site inspection at a resort/spa up in the mountains of pennsylvania, because mondays are hard, and mondays in the office are harder.

and maybe on another monday, it would have been a great idea. but in the case of yesterday, it was near disaster. when it is sunny and clear when i get in my car at home, it does not necessarily occur to me to check the weather forecast for a destination which is just a short 3 hour drive away. but as it turns out, when it is snowing at said destination, and you can only get there via 20 miles of mountainous roads, and your car is burning out it's engine going up hills and sliding down them, it's actually more than three hours.

after just a couple miles with that sort of excitement, i decided i didn't care if i had driven 'all this way', i was not going to risk my life for the last few miles. so i turned around. i called my sales manager and told him i had given up. 'why don't i just come and get you, i have four wheel drive.' duh. why i didn't come up with that idea before i attempted 'tara's white knuckle road rally' is beyond me--i mean it's a resort. in the mountains. someone had to have four wheel drive.

i hope it looks like this when i go back!

so brock came and got me, and i spent the entire drive back to the resort trying to place his face. he was so familiar. especially his lips. it was driving me crazy, until i realized that he could have been the blonde twin of an ex-boyfriend, which drove me crazier. all day, i was torn between wanting to flirt with this guy (who is engaged) or be completely disgusted by him. it didn't help that it was probably one of the longest site inspections i have ever done. granted, it did involve a tasty tasty lunch. but i was exhausted.

in order to make up for what i felt like was 'lost time' i sped the entire trip home, and tried a different route. i managed to make it in 2 1/2 hours--much better than the nearly 4 1/2 it had taken me to get there.

i took a five minute power nap, and checked my email, where i found the most hilarious thing from my sister-in-law. i've been going a little email crazy ever since. want to see what i am talking about? click here.

i was scheduled to have dinner with ann (which i had to cancel due to my late arrival home) and watch the bachelor season finale with anne. i wasn't sure i could spend any more time in the car. but when i reviewed my upcoming week, i knew i needed some relaxed down time. katie ditched us, but anne, rachel, and i, were on the edge of our seats for the duration of the show, and were satisfied with the outcome. this has been my favorite bachelor season yet. it moved fast, and the guy was totally respectable. he was also very good about weeding out the 'bad ones', which made it more enjoyable for me.

after the show, reality set in again, and i crashed out, trying to get as much sleep before today.

see today was root canal day. the first of many endo and periodontic appointments coming my way. and as if a root canal weren't bad enough on it's own, it was scheduled simultaneous to apple's announcement of their 'fun new products'. perhaps this is irrelevant to you, but for me, it would determine whether or not i could take the plastic film off of and open the earphones and such for the ipod i bought on saturday.

i finally caved. after having had mine for almost five years and patiently putting up with it when it would skip through songs, or when the screen became basically unreadable with the backlight, i had decided that it was time for an upgrade. but i also knew that one of the 'rumors' was that a new video/touchpad ipod would be announced/released today. so i went ahead and bought the 60gb video ipod on saturday having been reminded by anne that apple has a 14 day return policy.

i was stressed and and asked anne to text me the results of the announcements while i was having my tooth drilled, which she did. and no. the video touchpad ipod has not been released, so off came my plastic film, and out came the 'accessories'. yay! i am actually sort of relieved. it saves me from myself.

and if you are wondering about the nano...it is my most regretted technological purchase. it simply does not have a large enough hard drive to be feasible for me. but i love the portability. i'm actually trying it out now as the 'car pod', keeping the full size one in the purse for other uses. i've just got to find a way to justify the nano's existence!

all in all, the root canal went smoothly. at one point i realized i could see the reflection of what was going on in my mouth from the lamp. after the initial shock and nearly passing out (there was a lot of blood) i suddenly became fascinated, and was glued to the lamp for the duration of the procedure. i'm a little nervous about the pain once the anesthesia (wonderful wonderful anesthesia) wears off, but given that i have an oral surgery consult on friday, it should probably be the least of my concerns.

my blog cloud this week

get yours here.

weekend wrap up

friday didn't start well. i was up too early for a dentist appointment long overdue. i have had some genetic tooth problems that i need to have fixed. i put quite a bit of money into my flexible spending account last year in order to take care of it. then came bureaucracy. there were a couple of receipts they would not accept (even though they were for prescriptions) and my remaining balance got 'locked up'. it took entirely too long to get it resolved, but eventually (as in, last week) it got worked out. fortunately, the 2005 'fsa year' was extended, so i now have through march 15th to use it all. 'using it' began with friday's appointment. it will be followed this week, by a root canal, an oral surgery consultation, and shortly thereafter, oral surgery, then the 'crowning' glory.

needless to say, friday morning was not my favorite morning ever. but i headed to work excited about what would complete my day. see, a few months ago, i decided that i needed to teach myself to be less selfish. to 'give something back' or so the cliche goes. knowing that this would be a step outside of my comfort zone, i was looking for an opportunity that would involve things i loved, in order to help keep me motivated. baby steps:) i was looking for something very specific.

i had heard of therapeutic riding progams before, and knew that it would be perfect for me. it was a chance to parlay my love of horses and of disabled children into service. i didn't know if the area had any such programs, so i began doing my research. lo and behold, i found the northern virginia therapeutic riding program. i contacted them immediately, and repeatedly, with no response. i stalked them. but i could never get a real 'live' person to talk to. i had almost given up.

then, in january--three months after my stalking began--i received an email thanking me for my interest, and indicating that there would be several volunteer trainings before the session, of which, i needed to participate in one, before participating. lara, having also been interested in volunteer opportunities decided to join me, and we signed up for the last session, which was held on friday.

so after work, i headed to the barn--just a few miles from my office in fairfax. i got lost. so i was already frustrated by the time i got there. and then all my preconceived notions came crashing down.

the training was scheduled to last for three hours. i knew that. what i didn't know is that the entire three hours would be spent outside, in the freezing cold. it's funny, because i expected to be sitting in a classroom, not tacking up the horse and leading it around the ring. but i don't know why i thought that. i knew i was going to a barn to work with horses. sometimes i am just dumb.

somewhere in the five mile drive from my office to the barn, i had entered another world. i had left the comfort of company lunches, scheduling events at five star resorts (i'll get to that later), and enjoying my very own office, which happened to have plumbing on the same floor! now i was in a world where they had to specify that i could have a cup of water, and the 'bathroom' was the porta-john right next to the stable.

welcome to volunteer work. it really wouldn't be service if there weren't sacrifice involved, right? at least i am telling myself that until i become less selfish, which, given the fact that i've now signed every saturday morning for the next three months away, shouldn't take long.

i met up with anne and corey for a late dinner at cpk and put friday behind me.

then came 'marathon mall' day. it's all sort of a blur, but the roughly seven hours that anne and i spent there on saturday involved a good lunch, a bad movie, some time in sephora, and a new ipod. needless to say, i was exhausted.

and apparently it took more of a toll than expected. i woke up with a nasty migraine this morning. unfortunate, but not uncommon. it did however force me to change my plans. i was supposed to be heading up to nemacolin woodlands tonight for a site inspection tomorrow morning. the migraine means that i've got a good six-seven hour one on one time with my car tomorrow, but such is life.

right now i'm waiting for the closing ceremonies and reminiscing about the closing ceremonies i was at, and how sad it is to see the olympic flame doused.

when my head isn't pounding, i'll post an olympic overview...

date movie: (totally missed the boat)

the heart of me: (paul bettany and helena bonham carter make a strange couple)

the motorcycle diaries: (wow. i can't believe i waited so long to see this)

the latest ross video

oh man, this one is funneeee.

transitions

tonight at yoga, our teacher had us trying a few new 'combination' poses. throughout class, she consistently emphasized the need for smooth and elegant transitions--stressing that the transition was equally if not more important than the pose itself.

after arriving home, i tuned into women's figure skating (lest ye think my olympic obsession waning), and watched japanese skater shizuka arakawa demonstrate that point beautifully. what so moved me about her program was how far it went beyond the successful completion of the lutzes, sal chows, axles, and loops. here was a woman who understood the importance of the transition.

the skater who followed her had a technically decent program, but her transitions were choppy and forced. the contrast was stark, and i couldn't help but consider the application to our every day lives.

transition is defined as a passage from one state to another. while it may be sometimes difficult to measure in concrete terms when our lives are passing from one state to another, it is something most of us can feel. often, it is just a subtle shifting in the undercurrent of our existence.

i struggle with change. i am ever eager, yet the process itself is always a challenge. it usually requires stretching and growing, and is rarely easy. now, i am on the verge of another transition. i'm not sure what it is yet. but i feel it. something is coming. or going. or just changing. this time though, i am determined to focus on the transition. perhaps by doing so i will be able to avoid getting ahead of myself (as i often do). and if i'm lucky, i may actually find that i have entered the next 'state' well prepared, because i took the care and concern to focus on smoothly and elegantly getting there.

"not in his goals but in his transitions is man great"
-ralph waldo emerson

by way of interesting oscar stories

Hoffman to bark Oscar speech?

Posted Feb 23rd 2006 9:09PM by Erik Davis
Filed under: Awards, Celebrities and Controversy, DIY/Filmmaking, Waxing Hysterical, Oscar Watch

When you're a kid and have dreams of some day gracing the stage at the Academy Awards, often you may make a few strange and unusual bets with your friends as to what you may say should you have the chance to speak to millions of people across the globe.

Best actor front runner, Philip Seymour Hoffman, made one such bet....and it could come back to bite him in the ass. When he was 16, Hoffman, along with friends Bennett Miller (director of Capote) and Dan Futterman (writer of Capote) got a tiny bit wasted one night. Hoffman explains, "We had this friend at the time, Steven, and we all made this drunken pact that if one of us ever won the Academy Award, that we would bark the whole acceptance speech. We were very serious. Literally, we were like, 'I'll do that. I will definitely commit to that."

Now that they're all grown up and their film, Capote, may play a big role at this year's Oscar ceremony, what have the men decided to do? Well, according to Hoffman, when they met back up with their friend Steven recently, he reminded the Oscar-nominated actor that the bet was still valid...and Hoffman isn't happy. ""The thing is you can't just bark, you have to bark until they pull you off (the stage). Let's hope I don't have to get up there." Oh, what I would give to see this go down.

the oscars are coming, the oscars are coming

and i am getting into the spirit. i've invited some of you (those who i know enjoy movies or who might play even though they don't know what the heck they are talking about) to join my group in the 'world's biggest oscar pool.' it's not a true 'pool' since you do not have to contribute anything but your picks to play.

if i didn't invite you, and you'd like to participate, log on to oscar.com, make your predictions, then join my group using the information below.

url: http://predict.oscar.go.com/predict/frontpage
group name: mo-mo oscars
password: momooscars

it's simple!

1. go to the oscar.com home page and select "entertainment weekly's worlds biggest oscar pool"

2. log in with your abc.com member name and password

3. make your predictions in all 24 awards categories

4. select "join group," then log in using the group name provided above

5. review the predictions of the members in your group

6. tune in to abc on sunday march 5th, 8pm et for the 78th academy awards and see if your predictions come true!

hustle and flow: (pretty good if you can get past the movie being about pimps, prostitutes, and dealers, and get to the music part)

saint ralph: (the 14 year old boy discovering his sexuality part is creepy. too bad. it had a nice ending)

the river king: (i like ed-ward burns, and i liked him in this)

it's been awhile

since i posted my latest movie reviews. and lost is a rerun, so here i am waiting for women's aerials to come back on (i've been remarkably bored by speed skating this olympics).

and i'm confusing myself with the whole bucket thing i started--it's true, i'm not that bright. so i am going to revert to the 'standard' method of measurement.

alexander: (what a waste of jared leto's beauty)
brokeback mountain: (for the cinematography and jake gyllenhall)
aviator:
cellular: (surprisingly entertaining)
a very long engagement: (if you like foreign films)
coach carter: (but i am a sucker for a bball movie)
dreamer: (oh my goodness did i bawl my eyes out)
pride & predjudice: (keira did it 'proud')