the alignment of the stars

like many, i find my horoscope a fun entertaining way to pass the time now and again.  it's usually a drive-by, but i will admit that during the first week of each month, i spend a little more time than usual on one particular astrology site, 'cuz this chic has a pretty good record of 'coincidences'.  some nuggets from july (i promise, this is going somewhere):

If you look at the dates of the series of retrogrades of Venus, Mercury, and Mars so far this year, there was no oasis - those planets dovetailed almost precisely with their onset and direct dates, leaving no rest for the weary. You are a hard worker, and you rarely have problems with concentration, so you likely made progress in spite of the lack of help from the planets, but it took all the energy you had to give to do it. Life is about to become easier from now on.

You tend to overdo your work schedule, and the universe knows it, dear Virgo. July will be your time to unwind, make new friends, and connect with your current, favorite pals again. It's a time to rest, travel to the seashore, have dinners with pals, share stories, catch a new movie, and visit art openings.

You have so much to celebrate, dear Virgo. The start of 2014 will officially begin in July. Say goodbye to the never-ending series of retrograde planets - all that ends now. From now on you will have a more encouraging, productive environment in which to operate. While it is true that Mercury, your ruler, will go retrograde again on October 4 to 26, those three little weeks will pale in comparison to what we have all gone through in the first six months of 2014.

Take some needed rest in July, and see if you can take a vacation sometime in July. You need to unplug and enjoy life. You need to daydream - and don't let anyone tell you that it is a waste of time. This month, it may be the most valuable exercise you do.

there are a number of other apropos insights regarding this month, and even before i read this 'forecast',  the wheels had started turning.  it may or may not be obvious by my inconsistent blog appearances that this year has been incredibly busy.  my travel schedule in the last six months has seemed more intense than usual, and it has taken me longer to recover/settle in/get motivated to do anything but sleep and watch tv when i am home.

in fact, i have been looking forward to july all year!  i'll be making my annual trek to comic-con, followed immediately by my first vacation of the year, where i am overwhelmingly excited to return to one of my most happy places, my grandmother's lake house in new york.  all of my immediate family and much of the extended clan will be making the trek, and i can't wait to get some reading and relaxing done while reconnecting with aunts and uncles and cousins.

but there are other wonderful things happening right now.  the biggest is that i got some news at work in the last week which, if all goes according to plan, means something that i have spent the last two years hoping and praying for is now a reality.  it's not only a game-changer, it's a life-changer.  (i'm happy to share one-on-one, but not so publicly until things are more concrete).  and, since it dropped in from the sky like food rations to a deserted island, it gives me more confidence in the impressions and feelings i've been trying to interpret for some time.

meanwhile... july seems to be unfolding beautifully!

the independence day weekend involved meeting a bunch of new people, watching fireworks at the rose bowl in pasadena, spending a day at the beach with my friend tania, and having a neighbor navajo taco party.  it was the perfect mix of spending time with new friends and old.  and i certainly didn't mind the extra day of sleeping in!

happy 2012

hello friends!  did you notice that i did NOT wish you a 'happy new year'?  that's because i have decided that, as this year is the chinese year of the dragon, and i was born in a dragon year, i will be celebrating on january 23rd -- the beginning of the chinese new year.  in large part that's due to acknowledging that my traditional new year's reflections come with the hope that maybe, finally, this year will be the year that everything will change for the better.  and every year, it's not.

don't worry. that doesn't mean i've abandoned that hope, or hope in general...it's just in the process of being....realigned.

it has been interesting--and sad--watching the social media sites for the last 24 hours.  i've noticed that almost every person who posted a 'happy new year' declaration, followed it by commenting on how  difficult 2011 had been.  it seems that there has been a lot of unexpected death, a lot of jobs lost, loves lost, desires and goals unfulfilled.

i suppose i'm grateful that i don't fall into the '2011 was the worst year ever' category, but i can't say that it was a really great year for me either.  there were some high highs and some low lows.  i had some truly amazing experiences and some heartbreaking disappointments, and mostly i feel like 2011 was a year of stagnation.

and that is why this year i will celebrate the chinese new year (despite not having any real reason to do so).  the dragon is a powerful symbol in chinese astrology, and though i was born under the fire dragon, 2012 is a water dragon year.  predictions and descriptions for the upcoming dragon year include the following:

Those born in the Year of the Dragon can look forward to a year of new beginnings, and good fortune. According to the 2012 Year of the Dragon horoscope, anyone who is born in the year of the dragon will be very lucky. That could mean the start of a happy marriage, the beginning of a successful business, or a lucky lottery win. 

Water has a calming effect on the Dragon's fearless temperament. Water allows the Dragon to re-direct its enthusiasm, and makes him more perceptive of others. These Dragons are better equipped to take a step back to re-evaluate a situation because they understand the art of patience and do not desire the spotlight like other Dragons. Therefore, they make smart decisions and are able to see eye-to-eye with other people.

these descriptions are a near perfect encapsulation of my hopes for 2012.  i hope to re-evaluate and adjust accordingly. i hope for new beginnings. i hope to reform, strengthen, and build new relationships.  i hope for good fortune and a little 'luck'.  i hope to be a better practitioner of patience, and most of all, i hope to make smart decisions and to see the positive results.

amen to today's note...

But Tara, what if you did have the power, the reach, and the glory?

What if you were given dominion over all things?

And what if eternity lay before you, brimming with love, friends, and laughter?

Yet still, one day, in all your radiance, bubbling over with giddy excitement, you tripped, fell, and got hurt - really hurt.

Would you give up on all of your dreams? Would you hate yourself? Would you forget life's magic and promise?

Or would you shrug it off, look ahead, and exclaim that it's "just a flesh wound"?

Touché,
The Universe

timely

Think not of how, Tara, whether in terms of logistics, people, or inspiration, but of the end results you dream of. The end, in thought, combined with action, in its general direction, will always create the necessary circumstances, serendipities, epiphanies, ideas, and discoveries necessary to bring about the desired manifestation. The hard part is done for you. Your part is the easy part: Think and let go. Knock on every door and turn over every stone. Do not insist upon the path, but upon the overall change you wish to experience, and never take no for an answer.

You can do this. You've been doing it all your life.

You take after me -
The Universe

it's the 21 kids that are throwing me...

		I will marry Spencer.
		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Italy in our fabulous Apartment.
		We will have 21 kid(s) together.
		Our family will zoom around in a Black Lexus.
		I will spend my days as a Photographer, and live happily ever after.

today's horoscope

You search and search, and then one day it all becomes crystal clear. When you find the right person, you just know. Today, let your special someone know your search ended when they came into your life.

maybe i put too much stock in my horoscope

probably more than a few of you know that i'm slightly obsessed with astrologyzone.com. each month, i look forward to what susan miller is going to tell me about the upcoming month, because more often than not, she is right on the nose. i realize that others feel differently (anne, for instance, who shares my sign, and whom it very rarely applies to), but for me, i often gape at just how well this stranger knows me.

case in point:

Is all this pressure and effort you are going through worth it? Yes, it is. You are giving birth to a whole new way of life, one that is meant for you, and one that you will enjoy more than the old one you are leaving.

Saturn is now toughening you up so that you'll be ready for anything life throws your way. As you walk across the creaky old bridge to your new life, don't look to your right or left and by all means, as you go across, don't look down. Just keep looking forward, putting one foot in front of the other. This is a process that requires concentration.

Under these very isolating and testing aspects, at times you will feel a little lonely, as if you are swimming in the middle of the ocean in high seas in a perfect storm. That's the way Saturn and Uranus tend to work - to isolate so that you will choose the remedy that feels right for you. Saturn and Uranus want to teach you to rely on yourself and not to ask others to make the decisions or other actions for you. You need to be present in all actions and to take the final responsibility for all decisions.

The feeling of isolation that you may experience is only an illusion - you will see evidence of this during April's last week, for instance. (More about that later.) Your friends, loved ones, and colleagues really do care about you and want to help you!

is it sacriligious if i say 'amen'?

honestly, i can't think of a better way to describe my life right now. work is overwhelming, i am completely stressed out about my new calling (2 friggin' weeks until the mid-singles conference!), and i am more self-reliant in this moment of my life than i have ever been. i'm paying off debt, learning about budgets and prioritizing, living on far less than i ever thought i could or would, and somehow, i'm making it work.

i often feel a little lonely and isolated, but over the course of the next several weeks, i will have many opportunities to spend time with people i love...dylan and kelly next weekend in portland, followed by a visit from my friend justin who is attending the conference. after that, i get to spend time with anne here, and lara in vegas on back to back weekends.

there is opposition, or rather, balance, in all things, and ms. miller is more right than anyone should be. ironically, she also mentions i 'may go out of town to see a friend or member of my family, such as your sister or brother' at exactly the time i'm doing just that. coincidence?

dream psychology

dream:

i have a date with a guy who, it turns out, is an actor from 3:10 to yuma (i haven't seen it but it's at the dollar theater so i've been contemplating). it's actually christian bale, but in my dream state, i can only account for him as "an actor from 3:10 to yuma."

during my date, audrina from the hills shows up and totally kifes my man (she gave him her number, and somehow it's clear he is going to hook up with her). incidentally, in no world, dream or real, is she enough woman for christian bale.

i ditch the guy and lament (with actual tears) the clear violation of the girl code, before finding comfort in the arms of an unnamed man, who quite identically looks like riggins from friday night lights. end scene.

interpretation:

having all this time on my hands, and having watched just about every episode of every show available online, it has become clear that tv is very literally rotting my brain.

on that note, the good news is that i got a callback from the desired company today and they want to 'proceed to the next step'. in their case, what that means is a couple of online personality profiles, reference screening, criminal background check, etc. apparently that takes 'a few days', so i should hear back next week, and could be working as early as december 1 (well technically dec. 3, but dec. 1 sounds better). thanks to all those including me in their prayers and positive thoughts--please continue to do so!

just a matter of time...

lately, it seems everyone is starting photography businesses. combined with the gentle prodding of close friends (lara in particular), i've been giving some thought to doing the same. it is no secret to any of you that i love taking photos. whether i love being in them more, is debatable, but for the purpose of this monologue, we'll just forget about that.

over the years i have done engagement and wedding photos for friends and family, and i suppose it was just a matter of time before i gave serious thought to making a business out of it. truth is, i still have absolute confidence that marriage and family are in my future, and in an ideal world, i will be able to stay at home with the kids. with that in mind, i have been pondering for years what viable 'side-business' i could implement. the obvious answer was event planning, but to get an event planning company up and running would take a lot more legwork. photography is something i love equally well, and is probably equally lucrative, with less time investment required.

so, the 'official' launch of this new business is probably six months off...pending relocation, the purchase of a new camera, and photoshop classes. the camera is the big roadblock at the moment. i simply can't afford to invest without having any idea where my income will be coming from at the end of september, and i don't think anyone will take me seriously with my point and shoot...even if it is 10mp.

in the meantime, i'm trying to put the pieces in place so that when i am ready to go, i am READY to go. the first piece for me was beginning the website. it's still a work in progress, but feel free to check it out and comment. constructive criticism is always welcome!

spotlit photography

*****

in other news, kate and kendyl are moving back from nashville at the end of the month. needless to say, the info came as a surprise, particularly after having spent 20+ hours in a van moving her there only two months ago. nonetheless, it was great news to all of us, and means that i get a little more time than i thought i did!

*****

i had a dream about my future husband last night. he was tall, dark haired, and 37. today i have been scouring all the mormon singles sites in search of him. it's possible he's 36 and will be turning 37, and it's also possible that he is the brother of someone i know. so, if you have a brother who is tall, dark haired, single, and 36 or 37, send him my way. you could be personally responsible for my eternal happiness! (ps...lara, you know who does not qualify as your brother--he came up in my search today--even though you have known him so long).

today's note from the universe

You live in Hollywood. You dream of acting; of thrilling audiences; of having the best roles. Tara, I'm here to tell you that you can have what you want, if you make thrilling audiences your end result, not your roles.

You live in Timbuktu. You dream of living in opulence and splendor; of being financially free to pursue all that stirs your heart; of buying low, selling high, writing best sellers, and sitting with Oprah. You can have this too, if you make financial freedom and a happy heart your end result, not your trading, writing, or schmoozing.

You live in Ashburn. You dream of rocking the world; that you will move; that you will be in all the right places at all the right times. Yes! I can see it now, if you make move your end result, and don't mess with the cursed "hows."

It's easy, Tara, simply understand that your dream, the end result, is far bigger and more important than any of the steps you think you have to take. From a physical perspective, you simply can't know all that's involved. Your idea of the right steps may not be the best way for your dream to come true. They may even work against you.

With your end result clear, take every step that emotionally calls to you, but do not make any of them how your dream will come true. Trust the Universe to do its part, to pick the players and orchestrate the "hows," yet give it a pallet to choose from by passionately doing the things that feel right. Not attaching your hopes and expectations to these steps, only to the end, the dream, thy kingdom come.

Give my regards to Oprah, what a dear -
The Universe

notes from the universe

not long ago, a co-worker turned me on to a site that will send you notes from the universe. a daily email, with a little tidbit of some sort.

some days are more amusing than others.

this is what the universe had to say to me today:

How could it be difficult, challenging or hard, Tara, when so many others have done it?

You know, anything. For instance, to move.

funny, right?

anne's was equally on point.

in other news, i am sorry to disappoint those of you who have been amused by my 'tales from online', but i am officially taking an online dating hiatus. chalk it up to increased frustration and decreased tolerance, but i'm done for awhile, or forever. i don't really know yet.