a day at the beach

with jeremy out of town, corey and i decided it was the perfect weekend for playing hookey, and we headed to rehoboth beach, despite a forecast of 59 degrees.

the three hour drive went swiftly, and we stopped for an excellent mexican lunch before making our way to the beach. with chair and beach blanket in hand, we fought the wind and cool temps with bravado and near disregard, but before long, we gave up our courageous pretense and packed it in.

the truth of the matter is that i just needed to hear the ocean and smell the salt. i've been craving it for some time, and with the duck beach trip still a month away, i knew i couldn't wait. i had almost talked myself out of it when i casually mentioned it to corey, who quickly talked me back into it. and well, he agreed to drive.

at any rate, even though our sand time was short, we spent the rest of the day gawking at kitsch, chowing down on a few bites of funnel cake before beginning to feel nautious, and scoring big at the outlets. well, corey scored big, i just got my heart broken by a store known as 'coach'.

we ended up enjoying a long day at the beach, and getting the much needed escape we both needed. and the advantage of the weather conditions is that we are able to be much more patient in our wait for the 'real' beach trip.


be sure to check out corey's humorous account of the day, and for more pics, go here

more fun from the surrealist

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Tara!

1. Birds do not sleep in Tara, though they may rest in her from time to time.
2. If Tara was life size, she would stand 7 ft 2 inches tall and have a neck twice the size of a human!
3. Twenty-eight percent of Microsoft's employees are Tara.
4. Tara can not regurgitate.
5. The risk of being struck by Tara is one occurence every 9,300 years!
6. The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr Tara Head.
7. While sleeping, fifteen percent of men snore, and ten percent grind their Tara.
8. About one tenth of Tara is permanently covered in ice.
9. Abraham Lincoln, who invented Tara, was the only US president ever granted a patent!
10. If you blow out all the candles on Tara with one breath, your wish will come true.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

a slogan a day

"nobody does it like tara"

"all the tara that's fit to print"

"tara prevents that sinking feeling"

"absolut tara"

"nobody better lay a finger on my tara"


now, get your own. (thanks joy)

i *heart* ben & jerry's

on a lovely spring evening (last night), i met up with my dear friend angela for dinner. after dining on a scrumptious 'hail caesar' wrap, and catching up on life, i decided that i needed ice cream.

so we headed to lee's, the great little ice cream shop at reston towncenter, but alas it was closed. in great dismay, angela and i headed back towards her car. and then it happened. i saw a woman holding an ice cream cone!

i politely asked her where she had gotten it from, and she very excitedly responded 'it's free cone day at ben & jerry's!'

i didn't even realize they had put a ben & jerry's in at the towncenter, and it was free cone day. never let anyone tell you that dreams don't come true!

the turning point

well, i think i have finally crawled out of my nice safe little hole.

saturday morning, after a total of three hours of sleep, the alarm clock went off at 4:30. yes, that is am. by 5:30 i was out the door and headed to richmond. needless to say, i was excited to see jeremy.

i arrived at 8ish, and our day together was even more fabulous than last week's. the weather was icky, so despite steph's generously offered chili cookoff tickets, we didn't make it. instead, we played it low-key and by ear, spending some time at belle isle, eating, napping, and watching 'silent hill' (ps avoid at all costs!)

i figured out that with the hours we've spent together he and i are now (roughly) on our 7th date, and things continue to go well. he's amazing. he seems to think i am amazing. it's just all pretty amazing. so now all you haters who thought this was crazy may have to retract your statements;) it's early yet, but be prepared to eat crow!

for those of you who are wondering, yes, jeremy does read my blog (hi honey), and one of the things i particularly appreciate about him is that he is confident and comfortable. he is not afriad of my posts about 'dream men' and friday freak outs. he is confident in who he is and what he has to offer, and is comfortable with his feelings for me and mine for him. the truth of the matter is, neither of us know how this is going to turn out, but we both feel really good about the direction it is heading. good enough that i can safely make reference to my wedding website, without worrying that he is going to run away. that is a precious gift, and one i am extremely grateful for.

after a fabulous day on saturday, i attended church in the langley ward (as i often do). it was one of the most powerful sacrament metings i have ever been part of. the topic was missionary work, and usually that causes shudders and cringes, but in this case i felt quite the opposite. one by one the speakers addressed the subject in profound and eloquent ways, and there were not many dry eyes in the congregation. the spirt was extremely strong, and it left me feeling uplifted and inspired.

the evening was capped off by a drive in karl's new car. we paused at river bend park, and enjoyed the peacefulness and the company.

in many ways this weekend felt like a turning point..a much needed much anticipated turning point, and i can't wait to see what life has to throw at me during the next few months!

p.s. i'm mary-louise parker! woo-hoo!!

enigma:
derailed: (the cast is the only saving grace for a very uncomfortable plot line)
before sunset:
unfinished life: (normally i love robert redford and morgan freeman, but ouch, this one was painful)
capote: (praise to the man: philip seymour hoffman)
shaun of the dead: (oh man, this was funny)
silent hill: (bad, bad, and more bad)

for the rest of the pics, click here.

dude, i'm such a girl

sometimes i take serious issue with the fact that we as women are, on the whole, emotional creatures. our past experiences don't just shape us, but in many ways actually define us.

today i am defined as 'the girl who has had her heart broken more times than she cares to remember.' inherently, that definition is not bad--it is what it is. we all have our heart broken, most of us more than once. and i believe that in part, it serves as an excellent tool to guide us to good and healthy relationships that have potential for progression.

however, i'm a girl. so despite the fact that i have met an amazing guy who completely adores me, all it takes is one break in the established communication routine, and i am second guessing the whole thing. i realize the complete insanity of this, but i have been trained to be on the lookout for warning signs. and when they don't exist, i make them up. because what are the odds i am actually going to fall in love with someone who is also in love with me, and actually wants to do something about it? my experience has taught me that they are slim, so i am a skeptic. albeit a romantic skeptic, but a skeptic nonetheless.

i believe in fairy tales and happy endings, i am just still coming to terms with whether or not i believe in them for me. my first inclination when my head goes into overtime is to run far and fast. because if i get out fast, i limit the ability someone has to hurt me, right?

right. and safe. and never going to get me anywhere.

random question

does anyone work for or know anyone who works for computer associates?

rough day at the office?

this is how i spent mine...



there are a bunch of other photos of me skeet shooting (apparently, i'm a natural), and getting the property tour in a wrangler, but i can't seem to upload them. this one was taken with my co-workers phone.

at any rate, getting sunburned from a 'day at the office' ain't such a bad gig. koh and i went out to the open house at marriott ranch to siaze it up for possible future events, and while it won't work for any of our larger ones, it might work for a department outing. and if not, well, we got to spend the day enjoying good food and good times.

'if the fbi comes, you can let them in...

..but they can't go through anything without a search warrant,' were dad's instructions last night.

while enjoying the beautiful weather with the dog, dad, kate, and kendyl, i looked at kate and said 'sometimes life seems very surreal.'

sexy lexy comes to town

january 2002: i've just arrived in salt lake and head over to the main media center to meet up with sara, so i can get the lay of the land before diving into work on the following day. once through the mag & bag, i head for the administrative offices and see the most beautiful man i've ever seen. 6'4" sandy blonde hair, chiseled jaw. beautiful.

i enjoy the scenery and think to myself, 'what are the odds that i will ever see this guy again? there are 15,000 people working in this building.' so i continue on until i find sara, and she begins giving me the grand tour.

about twenty minutes in, i see this beautiful man again. i couldn't believe my luck. then sara says 'oh good, there's lex. let me introduce you, you'll be working together a lot.'

have you ever had one of those moments where the world just seems to stop? it seems to pause itself so that you have an opportunity to absorb what you've seen or heard before proceeding on with the normal functions of being human (e.g. speaking). that was one of those moments.

but then the world started and i thought, okay, so i'll work with him--what are the odds he's mormon? keep in mind that the media center was filled with journalists and staff from around the world, so just because we were in utah, didn't mean much when it came to that.

but of course, he was. and he happened to live a couple of blocks from my aunt's house where i was staying. and oh yeah, just happened to drive my dream car--a jeep wrangler.

basically, over the course of the next few weeks, i totally fell for this guy. and when you can work with someone for 18 hours a day, every day, for weeks, and still find time to spend time with one another outside of the workplace, you know it's good stuff.

(then)

but, he was quite literally an international playboy. a world traveler, a jack of all trades, a hopeless wanderer. needless to say, the aftermath of our experience did not include a romantic relationship. however, we did manage to develop a comfortable friendship, which involved checking in through email from time to time. when i was in utah, i would pop in and say hello, but our encounters were usually brief.

that did not change the fact however that he was my dream man. every guy got compared to him, and with every failed relationship, the thought 'well, i've still got lex.' would pass through my head. he went from being my future husband (in my mind) to being my safety net.

some of you will understand the irony of this more than others, but on monday night, i got a phone call that i've never before received in the four years since the olympics. it was lex. he was coming to town, did i have any time for him?

those of you who understand the irony of this timing and don't already know may well be picking your jaw up off the floor. i certainly was.

so last night, i picked him up at his hotel and we headed to dinner. it was almost as if no time had passed. it was easy, it was fun. and he was lex. after dinner we headed to the bowling alley where we were joined by a few friends, and where we spent the rest of the evening.

(now)

afterwards, i dropped him at his hotel and we said our farewells. i have loved him from the first moment i saw him. i still love him. he will probably always be my dream man, largely because i never spend enough time with him to see his flaws.

in the end, i realized that the reality of what i have is far better than a dream that would likely collapse under closer inspection.

feelin' lucky? well, are ya?

truth is, i am. lucky and blessed. it's funny how quickly things can change. about a week and a half ago, justin and i scheduled dinner. we use to try and get together once a month or so, just to stay caught up, but with my extended anti-social period we got a bit off track, and this month, we had four months worth of catching up to do.

when we scheduled the dinner i was really looking forward to it, because i needed a friend. i knew he would have a spare shoulder, and i was almost relieved at the opportunity to tell someone all of the icky stuff i have been feeling lately.

but this weekend that all changed, and instead of being excited to see him so i could whine and complain, i was excited to tell him how happy i was, and how things just seemed to be falling into place.

a week and a half ago, i was convinced that nothing good was ever going to happen to me again, and suddenly, i've come out of that dark tunnel, and found a beautiful sunshiny day.

on top of my new sunshinyness, i got a call from my friend lex last night. lex and i met and worked together during the salt lake olympics, and he immediately became one of my favorite people on the planet. i try and see him when i get out to utah, but for the first time since i moved back here, his work is bringing him to my neck of the woods. yay!!

happy easter!

this weekend turned out to be a really good one.

i took friday afternoon off to do some pampering (and some cleaning), and went to meet corey for his make-up dinner at la madeleine. i had my favorite salad of all time--the steak au bleu, and he had some mushroom concoction.

i say 'make-up dinner', and i will elaborate, so that all my readers will know what a truly great guy corey is.

some time ago, i was hanging out at his place watching a movie. in his apartment complex you have to have a visitor parking pass, so when i arrived, he came out and gave me the pass. what he and i did not notice was that i managed to park in the one 'reserved' parking spot in the whole back row of parking, and after finishing up the movie, my car was nowhere to be found. towing is such a racket, but corey unnecessarily assumed responsibility, since he was aware of the trap spot, and would not let me pay the $125 fee to get my car out. yes ladies, he is that kind of guy, for further information, inquire within. (oh, he is so gonna kill me when he reads this!!)

at any rate, i figured the very least i could do to say thank you was to take him to dinner. after dinner we headed to the jungle where we were met by katie and anne. the four of us embarked on a perilous journey that involved komodo dragons, killer bees, crocodiles, and head hunters. it also involved one hole in one, made by anne. katie and i tied for high score (high score wins in mini-golf, right?) actually, it was worth noting that, while the holes themselves were pretty simple, the course was by far the best mini-golf course i have seen, and i can't wait to go back!

we called it a night a bit early, since i knew i had to be up on saturday morning to meet jeremy, who was coming up to visit me from richmond. i was a bit relieved when i learned that he had gotten a late start, which meant i could sleep for another hour! but eventually i rolled out of bed and got ready to start the day. i was a bit nervous, as this was a first meeting for jeremy and i (having originally met online), but when he arrived, all my anxiety was put to rest.

i've met people through various sites online before, and with mixed results. i've had my heart broken, broken hearts, and made some good friends. but if i've learned anything, it is that meeting sooner rather than later is better for everyone. as much as you can learn about a person through emails, ims, and phone calls, there is still much that cannot be determined until you are standing face to face with someone sharing the same space. and only then can you decide what sort of time and emotional investment is warranted.

jeremy was a good sport and after a week of interaction, when i suggested one of us needed to make a road trip, he didn't hesitate. when he got here, i was especially happy that we hadn't put it off any longer.

we decided to deviate from the original plan of going into dc, and stuck a bit closer to home. we headed to lunch, after which we stopped by the langley eggstravaganza, where we were amused by all things egg. after leaving from there, we opted to take advantage of the beautiful day, and spent a couple of hours at great falls park. i really could not have ordered more perfect weather, more perfect scenery, or more perfect company. we had an amazing time.

finally, it was time for dinner, so we headed to olive garden, where we, in the most random of coincidences, ran into kathryn and her roommate kara. the four of us decided to dine together, and had a great time. jeremy withstood kathryn's firing line like a true pro! since kathryn has known me for some 12 odd years, nobody gets a place in my life without passing her tests, and he passed with flying colors.

after dinner we headed back home where we spent some time getting to know eachother better, and eventually i sent him home with an invitation to check out his neck of the woods next weekend--which i'm really looking forward to!

basically, it was just one of those all around great weekends...hopefully this is the start of nothing but an upward trend!

for more jungle pics, click here.
for more great falls pics, click here.

an update

yes, it has been several days since i've blogged. the truth is, i have been on a downward spiral of doom, but it drives me crazy when i read other people's blogs and all they are doing is complaining (there is a difference between complaing and expressing). my last couple of posts have been atypically negative (or complaining) of me, and i did not like it, so i chose to abstain.

needless to say, it's been a rough couple of weeks. after the event concluded, things started to get even worse. while no one is questioning my event planning capabilities, they are questioning the additional money. it seems simple to me. more people = more money. but i'm not an accountant.

every day since the event has involved tense phone calls and multiple questions. with each question, my desire to say "you know what? you guys can figure it out. i'm out of here," has increased exponentially. as far as i am concerned, we spend too much time at work to hate what we do. and i have hated everything about the last couple of weeks.

but i am beginning to see a light. it's small, and it's flickering. but it looks a little brighter than it has. maybe it's just my eyes adjusting to the dark, but i am hopeful. and there have been some really good things happening in the last couple of weeks that i need to acknowledge (if for no other reason than to shake myself from the ickyness).

jt, danna, and baby elisa spent last weekend with us, which was sooo good. i am often uplifted by my family and reminded of how much i have to be grateful for.

kendyl has also been an absolute doll lately. maybe she knows that aunt tara needs a little extra love, because she has been dishing it out. she still refuses to say my name however(months ago she coined 'tata' for me, but that has long since gone by the wayside, and she stubbornly refuses to give me the satisfaction of hearing my name come out of her mouth), but i can look past it when there are so many hugs and kisses.

i've been debating about another tattoo (again), which entertains me and distracts me. actually, i should thank anne for that. her random musings one day triggered both mine and corey's dormant craving. you can see what he is thinking about here. i have been thinking about getting a ladybug on my toe. before you roll your eyes in disgust, let me explain. in one of my all time favorite movies, one of the characters tells the following story:

'i used to spend hours looking for ladybugs. finally, i'd just give up and fall asleep in the grass.

when I woke up, they were crawling all over me.'

i love that simple reminder that the things we want come to us when we relax and stop obsessing over them. that is why i am considering a ladybug. the other option would be train tracks, but that is less appealing (gwen, you may be the only one who gets that!)

my boss has been very supportive, and thanks to her, on top of my elizabeth arden gift certificate from the hotel, i now have another one to use. if i can figure out when there is actually time, i'm sure it will be extremely enjoyable.

there have been good things. and i am trying to remember that. i'm looking forward to wmzqfest, and duck beach, and the annual family vacation to grandma's lakehouse, and i'm just holding my breath until the end of june.

the avon breast cancer walk

every year avon sponsors a forty mile breast cancer walk, which i have always wanted to do--particularly since my grandmother died of the disease. however, the idea of raising $1800 has always scared me into avoidance.

this year however, my friend and co-worker has committed to doing this, and i would like to see her succeed. if you are of the variety who feels it is worthwhile to donate to a good cause (and i understand that not everyone is), please consider sponsoring one or more of her miles.

you can do so by clicking here.

mellowing out

either i am starting to mellow out, or i am just becoming truly apathetic.

nicholas moved on yesterday. i'm still fighting money battles at work. people are still ungrateful. i saw the worst movie ever last night. and i think i have moved passed feeling.

"self-acceptance comes from meeting life's challenges vigorously. don't numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. you will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. you will find peace not in denial, but in victory."

uh-huh. yeah. i'll get right on that.

the truth of the matter is, i am feeling too much. i'm overwhelmed by what i'm feeling and wish that i could just shut my brain down. just for a few minutes. just a little respite.

oh wait? what's this? a gift certificate at the red door spa for a half-day 'escape' package. think i just found the temporary fix. if they have calgon, i'm totally set;)

spring gala photos

since i didn't really have a chance to take photos at the party (see, now you know i was working!), i have stolen the photos from my favorite corp comm guys and uploaded them. you can check them out here.

in this pic: my partner in crime (koh), myself, and my two extra hands (alicia)

good night and good luck:
view from the top:
corpse bride:
two for the money:
sea inside:
bee season:
the constant gardener: