where do i begin?

it seems impossible that everything that has happened in the space of the last week+ could actually happen in that limited amount of time. let me start with what is bound to sound like a broken record, yet bears repeating nonetheless. my family is awesome.

yesterday, i was flummoxed (flummoxed, i tell ya!) when i received these at work:



upon reading the card, i discovered that they were from my darling cousins mel and katie who who were here visiting recently. the card expressed a hope that i had survived the conference, and thanks for playing chauffeur during their trip. ha! jokes on them, i played chauffeur purely for my own selfish reasons. i wanted to see them!

at any rate, i was reminded yet again that my family is incredible, and i am so grateful for the thoughtful gesture that brightened my week:)

now to move backwards a bit... when i was called to serve as the hb mid-singles co-chair, i had no idea that i was taking on the most difficult calling i had ever had. those who know how badly i have struggled with my gospel doctrine assignments can appreciate the full weight of my statement.

the calling itself would not have been difficult were it not for my co-chair, who, at every turn, somehow managed to either create great stress or cause great turmoil in my life. i have worked with challenging people before. i have worked with ceo's, contentious vice presidents, tightwad high-ranking government employees, and never before have i come across a person such as he.

i need to say before i begin my ranting, that the man has passion. and i truly believe that there are many many people who benefit from that passion. he has driven this conference, despite a fair amount of opposition in some cases, and after having been involved with the mid-singles program back east, i know how difficult that can be.

collecting a few numbers

for that reason, i think his involvement is a good thing. but that's where it stops for me. from the first conversation following my official call, i knew i was in trouble. i tried on various occasions to pass on my mantle without going so far as to ask for a release. i hoped that he'would come to the same conclusion that i had, which was that our communication was not good. in fact, 'not good' is a monstrous understatement.

i hoped he would take the opportunity i provided to let me go, and find an alternative. frankly, i wasn't contributing that much. he wouldn't let me. but every time i proposed extracting myself from the situation, he panicked. so i stayed, and did the best i could.

after arriving home late tuesday night, i headed to work on wednesday, and then to the stake center. i repeated this on thursday, and on friday, i took the day off to dedicate to the preparation. over the course of those three days, i probably moved some 600-700 chairs, 30-40 tables, swagged 30 flourescent lights, hung globes, covered chalkboards, etc. etc. etc.

somehow my co-chair had managed to assign himself every task that avoided any sort of manual labor, so he was nowhere to be seen during any of this process. but for me, the straw that broke the camel's back came on friday.

as he had maintained a tight grip on registration, despite my efforts to relieve him, he had all of the registration materials. lists, wristbands, etc. he was supposed to arrive at the building at 3pm on friday with the materials, in order to prepare for the 6pm registration start.

by 5pm with no sign, i called to find out where he was. i learned that he was sitting in a kinkos nearly an hour away waiting for banners to put on the front lawn, with no sign of their completion. i told him if they weren't done in 10 minutes, to get his money back and "get his butt in the car, and get here with the registration stuff." he agreed that that was the best course of action, but was clearly patronizing me.

he arrived at 7:30pm. a full hour and a half after registration had begun. we had to let people in and go back and find them to check them in. keep in mind that this was a paid event, hence the need for registration in the first place.

the speed dating tent

that single example is a good illustration of my entire experience. he made some of the worst decisions i have ever seen anyone make in a situation like this. he also managed to somehow discount his involvement in anything that went wrong, but you better believe that everything that went right, somehow, he was single-handedly responsible for. the truth is, i'm appalled by his behavior. i haven't even mentioned the voice mail he left me, which said, and i quote "i hope you feel fine about the fact that you are about to screw over 1200 people."

the truth is, i was left with some battle wounds on this one, and the scars may take a little while to fade.

but, i would be remiss if i didn't also talk about the good that came from the experience. first and foremost, those in attendance had a good experience. the 1400 attendees came truly, from all over the world. they were excited to be there and enjoying the associations with one another. as to my own reward, perhaps it's best if i simply copy/paste an email i sent saturday night, as i was very 'in the moment' when i wrote it:

It's 2am, and my pajamas are on, teeth are brushed, and after finishing this message I will close my laptop, turn off michael clayton, and slip off happily into dreamland.

Tonight was an interesting experience for me. For all the stress this calling has caused, and all the frustrations I felt, tonight more than made up for it. During the night, I was engaged in random necessary tasks, finally rendering me, at one point, barefoot, as my shoes were not up to the task of carrying my body to and fro without blistering my feet. That aside, I started to notice something. People I've seen in my ward, who I've never met, and some I've never seen before, were approaching me, and by name, asking me to make decisions on the issues at hand, pass along information, or help offer solutions.

Now technically, I've been in my ward for about five months now, and I haven't felt remotely 'connected' to it. I recognize that it's my fault. I've been in a lot of different wards with family, or on the road, and when I have been there, I haven't been motivated enough or energetic enough, or something enough, to invest. But tonight was different. Tonight I was interacting with ward members as though we'd been long time friends. It occurred to me that kind of change is rare, yet somehow, in service, it becomes common. In fact, it's one of the few things I can think of that almost without exception, binds people together with no more common ground necessary than that of simply being unified in purpose.

That realization was only broadened and enhanced by what was to follow at the end of the evening. I had been told many times that last year the process of cleaning the church and putting it back to 'Sunday status' lasted until 4am. I was prepared for the worst. But I watched in amazement as tasks were quickly requested, assigned, and carried through. I didn't have enough tasks for the people that were willing to and wanted to help. The directions I gave were never met with annoyance or avoidance--simply an eagerness to be of use, wherever and whatever that meant.

There wasn't a one of those people that wasn't tired or that wouldn't have rather been at the after party or in their beds (depending on their nature), but neither was more important for them than the service they could render. There are rare moments when you can actually almost see the divinity in people--the goodness and the light. Tonight was one of those moments.

And tonight, all of the stress and frustration of the last six weeks felt inconsequential and trivial. It probably seems strange that I would feel the spirit so strongly in the midst of picking up trash, vacuuming, and setting up chairs, but it was undeniable.

me and justin... all the way from va

to say that i'm glad it's over is almost laughable. once i've caught up on sleep, maybe i'll be a bit more magnanimous about the whole thing, but for the moment, i'm just really looking forward to having the weekend to myself, to buying a beach cruiser, and to a special visit next month from a special man:)

and did i mention how awesome my family is?!

in support of jan

i never, never, let me repeat, never, respond to blog tags. buy my cute cousin jan has made a recent blog debut, and as such, i will acquiesce one time, and one time only. :)

many of you have seen/blogged this one before, but...

1. pick up the nearest book
2. turn to page 123
3. find the 5th sentence
4. post the 5th sentence on your blog
5. Tag 5 people

this quote coming to you live from the book currently at the top of my to read/sort of reading pile; 'the historian', by elizabeth kostova:

my father paused here and drew from his camera bag two waterproof jackets, one for each of us.

anyone else find the reference to camera 'equipment' ironic. okay, maybe not, but i did.

calling you creative types

i have much to update, having last night, finally made it through my duties as the mid-singles conference co-chair (1400 attendees!), but until i can get to that, there’s another matter at hand.

i need one of you super clever very creative readers of mine (that’s 90% of you, so don’t even think about remaining silent!), to help me come up with a cute (and probably corny) phrase somehow related to puzzles. i’m a romantic cheese ball, and am stuck on a little project i'm working on. looking for phrases along the lines of ‘we’re the perfect fit’ or ‘you’re the missing piece’, but not those. those are a little too cheesy, even for me. or, if you too are stumped, it could be a phrase or quote about photos, as the project will revolve around pictures....

help!

the real recap

for those of you who assumed that my recent trip to the pac northwest was purely for the sake of seeing my beloved brother and sister-in-law, that's what i was aiming for, but it's not the whole story. it's not that i intended to mislead, but i find i am becoming less interested in reading myself write (as opposed to hearing myself speak) just for the sake of over-sharing.

but, i will divulge a little more now that i have returned from oregon. my primary motivation actually related to a recent online 'purchase'. see, i ordered myself a man.

this isn't the first time i've attempted such a thing, but ordering online is a risky proposition. you peruse the store and you find something you like, but even with a lot of research (which I'm becoming a pro at), you have to start asking yourself some questions. how long will delivery take? how high are the shipping charges? is there a warranty? are you really dealing with a quality product? is it in the original packaging? is it 'refurbished'? what's the return policy? do you need to take out insurance? will it truly protect you in a dark alley like the description says it will?

there is only one way to answer these questions. inspect the merchandise.

i am happy to report that the inspection went even better than hoped for (and with high hopes, that speaks volumes), and i am now the proud owner of one long distance relationship.

my purchase came with a bonus gift for being such a valued customer, that being the very close proximity to the aforementioned beloved brother and sister-in-law. and short of being within a 500 mile radius, i can't think of a better situation. at least i got the coast right this time :D

in the near future, those of you looking for the nitty gritty details on this blog, will likely find yourself disappointed. it's not concern over the public nature of this forum, but more that i think, whatever the outcome, i've found someone and something quite special. special things do not come my way every day so i am intent on taking great care to nurture it and protect it from the challenges that are sure to come, not least among them, my own insecurities and paranoia.

that being said, enjoy pictures!

dylan and kelly goof off

our first date. or second. hmmm. not sure how to count these.

sunday dinner with kelly's fam

treehouse fun

more treehouse fun

i had a accident

at the woodburn tulip festival

slammin' the hot cocoa

there was a lot of wonderful family time (mine and his), beautiful flowers (i do love tulips), a car accident, and yes, there was snow. all in all, a very eventful trip!

the rest of the pics are here.

the portland recap

thanks for playing

the question of the winter coat is now moot.

wouldn't you like to know

help me pack!

so, i'm leaving for portland on friday. lucky me, the high for most of my trip is going to be 45 degrees. oh yeah, and it's going to be raining the whole time.

there's something about living in a place where reaching 75 in february is 'normal', that skews ones perception of 'cold'. so here's the thing. i don't know if this is winter coat weather, or if my even thinking that it might be is ridiculous.

i need your help in deciding whether or not to bring out the big guns. kindly select one or more answers from the poll to your left. and if you select yes and no, i will find you. and i will hurt you. love ya;)

how was YOUR day?

maybe i put too much stock in my horoscope

probably more than a few of you know that i'm slightly obsessed with astrologyzone.com. each month, i look forward to what susan miller is going to tell me about the upcoming month, because more often than not, she is right on the nose. i realize that others feel differently (anne, for instance, who shares my sign, and whom it very rarely applies to), but for me, i often gape at just how well this stranger knows me.

case in point:

Is all this pressure and effort you are going through worth it? Yes, it is. You are giving birth to a whole new way of life, one that is meant for you, and one that you will enjoy more than the old one you are leaving.

Saturn is now toughening you up so that you'll be ready for anything life throws your way. As you walk across the creaky old bridge to your new life, don't look to your right or left and by all means, as you go across, don't look down. Just keep looking forward, putting one foot in front of the other. This is a process that requires concentration.

Under these very isolating and testing aspects, at times you will feel a little lonely, as if you are swimming in the middle of the ocean in high seas in a perfect storm. That's the way Saturn and Uranus tend to work - to isolate so that you will choose the remedy that feels right for you. Saturn and Uranus want to teach you to rely on yourself and not to ask others to make the decisions or other actions for you. You need to be present in all actions and to take the final responsibility for all decisions.

The feeling of isolation that you may experience is only an illusion - you will see evidence of this during April's last week, for instance. (More about that later.) Your friends, loved ones, and colleagues really do care about you and want to help you!

is it sacriligious if i say 'amen'?

honestly, i can't think of a better way to describe my life right now. work is overwhelming, i am completely stressed out about my new calling (2 friggin' weeks until the mid-singles conference!), and i am more self-reliant in this moment of my life than i have ever been. i'm paying off debt, learning about budgets and prioritizing, living on far less than i ever thought i could or would, and somehow, i'm making it work.

i often feel a little lonely and isolated, but over the course of the next several weeks, i will have many opportunities to spend time with people i love...dylan and kelly next weekend in portland, followed by a visit from my friend justin who is attending the conference. after that, i get to spend time with anne here, and lara in vegas on back to back weekends.

there is opposition, or rather, balance, in all things, and ms. miller is more right than anyone should be. ironically, she also mentions i 'may go out of town to see a friend or member of my family, such as your sister or brother' at exactly the time i'm doing just that. coincidence?

reunited, and it feels SO good!

i felt more like ‘me’ yesterday than i have in a long time. it’s a strange statement, i know, but something about being with someone who has known you for most of your life has that effect. and even beyond that, it’s deb. the self-portrait originator (though there is still some debate on this point), my fellow “goofy girl” and long time partner in crime.

we had a strange block of time in which to reconnect… 3pm, sunday. for many reasons, this is problematic. one, because i believe in keeping the sabbath day holy. for my non-mormon readership (though if you know me, you already know this!), among other things, this means not buying things on sunday. it’s true that when i myself am traveling, sunday often becomes less ‘sunday’, and depending on the situation sometimes more so than others. i’m sure all of you are better people than i, but if i’m traveling i will pay for food, possibly parking, admission fees. it all depends on what the ‘traveling’ is.

just for the record, i also, if possible, will go to church. the lines become a little bit more blurry for me in situations like this, where someone else is traveling, and i'm responsible for them. in most cases, there are multiple days, and plans can be arranged accordingly. in this case though, i had about 7 hours, and they happen to fall on sunday. i knew that we wouldn't be coming back to my house, and that we would be doing things i normally wouldn't do on the sabbath. so, as i recount our adventures, know that i know i'm not perfect, so please don’t judge (nicole)! :)

the second problem with 3pm sunday, is that many of the things i would liked to have done closed at 2 or 3pm, and I wasn’t sure exactly how much sun we would have. but, neither of us would have been content sitting in a hotel room—not on a beautiful socal day when there is new territory to be explored!

so, i put my google fingers to the test, and as usual, they did not fail me.

i picked deb up from her hotel in downtown la, and the adventure began.

1st stop – hollywood sign

my friend brandon told me that there was a dog park near the sign with great views, but he couldn’t remember how to get there. i did some searching and pieced together some fairly sketchy directions. truth be told, this first stop had me a little nervous. the gps would do me no good, as there was no address or coordinates to point myself towards. just some sketchy directions...which turned out to be dead on. without any trouble, we found said dog park, and were not disappointed.

the sun was shining off those big beautiful white letters, and i was with my bff surrounded by puppies and cute puppy daddies (seriously!) on an amazingly gorgeous day. heaven, i tell ya!



2nd stop – kodak theater & grauman’s chinese theater

my major hope for the day was that stops one and two could be accomplished in daylight, without rushing. and my hopes were realized! i’m a movie buff. no question. and in a former life, i might have even been a groupie of sorts. so, as touristy as these near-adjacent theaters are, i could have cared less (as evidenced by the photos).

we walked the red carpet hallway and stairs at the kodak,
(sidenote: was surprised that it wasn’t as imagined. it’s in the hollywood & highland shopping center! so when all those celebutantes enter for one of the premier industry events events, they are walking past the rocky mountain chocolate factory and planet funk, among others)

posed with jack sparrow (2 of them!) and davy jones


stuck our hands and feet in cement,












and paid tribute to moses.

AND, because we had to make a purchase to avoid paying the astronomical parking rates, deb picked up an item for herself at sephora. and because she was so impressed at my restraint, she bought me lip gloss that i so clearly wanted, yet wouldn’t buy for myself. i suppose, in hindsight, that contributing to delinquency is just as bad as being delinquent, but it was a generous gesture all the same. and the lip gloss is divine. completely kissable! (future post coming your way soon)

stop 3 – sprinkles cupcakes

find the cupcake in this photo:


ha ha! gotcha! there is no cupcake in this photo! well, unless you count the two on the sign that is...

let me explain. for those of you who aren’t in the loop on sprinkles, it’s a cupcakerie (it’s a word now) founded in beverly hills (though currently under nationwide expansion). frankly, the cupcakes are good, but not divine. nonetheless, it’s a “california thing”, and made logistical sense in my itinerary for the day. i didn’t bother checking the hours because it wasn’t a priority. if it worked out, great, if not, fine. i wanted to drive through beverly hills anyway.

as you might have guessed, they were closed by the time we arrived. so instead, we backtracked a bit to the beverly hills sign and took photos. all in all, probably a more worthwhile stop.

stop 4 – dinner in santa monica

i’ve been to santa monica a few times. i feel pretty comfortable getting there. so how i got lost, WITH my gps is still a mystery, although, maybe it was divine intervention. along the way i spotted a familiar site. a gold man blowing a horn, on top of a big white building. it was the la temple!

of course, it was sunday, and conference sunday on top of that, so the place was deserted, but we wanted to see the grounds, so we ignored our stomachs and did some wandering. i was actually a bit surprised that the grounds were so beautiful. the temple sits on top of a dramatic hill (i wonder if it’s man-made, because it’s out of sync with it’s neighborhood), and the landscaping is gorgeous. i've seen pictures before, and didn’t find this temple particularly impressive (certainly no dc or san diego), but the photos clearly don’t do it justice.
















back on the road, we eventually we made it to santa monica. by the time we arrived, we were starving. after all, without the cupcake ‘hold-over’ it had been about 8 hours since either of us had eaten. there is some good food in santa monica, but we were too tired to walk the two bocks to get to it, so we settled on the first place we saw and tolerated a mediocre meal before wandering the third street promenade.

we did a little window shopping and hoped to find ourselves a sweet treat along the way. no luck! deb specifically asked about the likelihood of finding a pink berry, so a new stop was born.

stop 5 – pinkberry

pinkberry, like sprinkles, is a california food thing. frozen yogurt is big here, and it can actually be difficult to find an ice cream place as a result. i’ve tried a couple of the favorites (golden spoon comes out on top for me), but hadn’t yet tried pinkberry, though I’ve been hearing about it since the moment i arrived in ca. with a little help from my live search and my nav, we located the closest one, and called to confirm that it was still open (it was about 9:30pm by now, and it WAS a sunday).

but yay! they were open until 11! we made the two mile drive to venice and easily located the joint. walking in had us both a little confused, though, and deb immediately asked me what the flavors were. i was just as confused, and come to find out, there are three. that’s right, just three. original, coffee, and green tea. upon realizing that, i started thinking maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea. maybe the established california rep had come based solely on the fact that it was clearly trying too hard to be ‘chic’ and people love that kind of stuff. the ‘trendy’ décor had me wary.

until i took my first bite.

it was an absolutely unique frozen yogurt experience. it tasted like…um…yogurt…but frozen. what a bizarre concept! instead of masquerading as ice cream sans calories, it was truly frozen yogurt, and it was delicious.

there was simply no better way to top our day’s experience than yummy treats, and deb and i were both exhausted (i, with an hour drive home), so it was time to say farewell. our time was brief, but we certainly made the most of it, and i am quite pleased at how well my little itinerary actually worked out!

anyone else want to come play?

teaser

deb's in town

and tomorrow, we get to play!

i only get her for a few hours, so i'll head up to la after general conference, and play tour guide. since i haven't actually been to la yet, i may be a little out of my league on this one. but i am a google queen, and i've put together a nice little itinerary.

in thinking about what i wanted to do, and what we would have time for, i thought it was high time i start the 'california must-do list'.

see...when i lived in utah, i constantly regretted that i had lived so long outside our nation's capital, and hadn't taken full advantage of it. so i made a list of all the things i needed to do, and when i moved back, i started crossing things off my list. museums i had never seen, annual activities i had never participated in, restaurants i'd never tried.

there were only a couple of things left on the list when i moved here, and doing all of those things made me truly appreciate 'home'.

being in california, i know, is temporary. i've always known it. and though i don't know if 'temporary' means a year, or 2, or 5, or 20, i know i'm not here for the duration. the last thing i want to do is to leave, when the time comes, knowing that i didn't really live here.

i guess i needed an impetus though, and deb's trip is just the right motivation. so, here's how the list begins (and feel free to send me any additions you may have!)

Theaters & Studios
Grauman’s Chinese Theater/Walk of Fame
Kodak Theater
Paramount Studios
Sony Pictures
Universal Studios
Warner Brothers Studios

Amusement/Theme Parks
Disneyland
Knott’s Berry Farm
Six Flags Magic Mountain

Museums
The Museum of Tolerance
The Getty Museum

Other (Los Angeles)
Hollywood Sign
Venice Beach
La Brea Tar Pits

National Parks (Around California)
Joshua Tree
Channel Islands National Park
Death Valley National Park
Sequoia & Kings Canyon National Park
Yosemite National Park
Lassen Volcanic National Park
Redwood National Park

Other (Around California)
Santa Monica Pier
Third Street Promenade - Santa Monica
Queen Mary - Long Beach
Wild Animal Park - San Diego
Sea World - San Diego
San Diego Zoo (again)
Winchester House - San Jose

three signs you should have stayed in bed this morning

1. you get the company car towed


2. you are mandatorily (is that a word?) evacuated from your office building


3. you lose an exhibit booth needed at the show site tomorrow



it's a pretty rough day when the highlight is the tow truck guy saying 'you must be here for the mercedes' upon your arrival at the impound lot.

to be fair, none of these things were actually my fault, and i was completely uninvolved in the evacuation. i promise! frankly the hour long wait to get back in the building while the four fire engines and an ambulance figured out the problem, was kind of a nice break. of course, having it occur in the middle of a conference call that's been scheduled for a week, not so much. funny that a little smoke from a burned out elevator motor could cause so much commotion!

as for the car...it was only sort of my fault. maybe fault isn't the right word. i happened to be slightly involved in a series of events which all aligned at exactly the right time and in exactly the wrong way, with annoying consequences.

and the booth? well, i can't help it that fed-ex is incompetent. but i'm not sure the exhibitors are going to sympathize with me.

i knew i had to give my boss a heads up, though i was hesitant to do so given that she, and several of our exec staff are at a retreat in colorado. nonetheless if there is one thing i know about her, it's that she is a straight shooter, and expects the same. i tried to infuse a little humor and posed the following multiple choice question:

which would you like to hear about first? a) the mercedes being towed, b) the mandatory evacuation, or c) the lost booth

her answer? "they towed rosie?"

unbeknownst to me, the car has a name. after explaining what had happened, and my suspicions as to why it happened, her response was simply, 'well, it's actually the perfect time, since no one will be in town for a few days.' have i mentioned how much i love my boss?

by the end of the day, rosie was safely ensconced back at 'home'.

as for the booth, i am praying that the fed-ex tracking is delayed, and the booth has safely arrived, along with it's counterpart that definitely has.

in other news...i got to play with my cousin mel and second cousin katie this weekend! they were in town doing the disneyland thing, so i kidnapped them on sunday, dragged them to church with me. then they voluntarily came with me to the beach and to mick and jenny's for dinner, where i laughed so hard, my stomach was killing me on monday! my family is seriously awesome.

katie, me, and mel

the whole kit and caboodle (sans mick)