here we go again...

i think this is the longest i have ever gone without posting.  ever.  so, since there is way too much catching up to do, let's just hit the highlights and lowlights of 2015 so far, shall we?

january:

knowing that i will be (if all goes according to plan), moving to north carolina at the end of july, california bucket list items have taken on a new urgency.  for the first time, i joined my donahoo cousins in visiting the post-showing of the rose parade floats.  amazing! it was particularly enjoyable to experience it with my cousins, who've also never done it, and whom i'm going to miss terribly when i leave!

with three months to design and build a brand new booth, as a part of the parent company's strategy to align all of their umbrella companies to "one-brand", the 20X30 launches at the north american veterinary conference and wins the booth of the year award. (february, multiple articles would be published about it in various exhibit trade publications). i'm particularly proud as the design concept was entirely my idea, and we were fortunate to be paired with the perfect exhibit house to execute it.  the booth features a life-size tree stump that doubles as a phone charger, a convertible meeting space in the interior of the doghouse, as well as astro-turf carpet and ambient "yard" sounds, giving visitors a break from the hectic conference pace.

extended the navc work trip to spend some time with melissa (n.) at universal studios florida, primarily to indulge our inner wizards and check out the new(ish) wizarding world of harry potter.  exhaustion was a prominent feature, but, so was spell-casting! there is something truly magical ( i know, i know) about the harry potter world and the way it has become such a cultural phenomenon.  i still remember being in high school reading my dragonlance books about wizards and warriors, and fearing that i would be made fun of as a result.  the times, they have-a-change-ed.

capping off the month was the (ahem)th birthday celebration for my good friend larysa.  it's fair to say that the circle of those who i would truly consider friends, here in california is very small, but i have known and liked larysa for almost my entire eight years here.  it was a privilege to participate in honoring her (mumble) years on the planet, and while i won't reveal her age, i will say that it was a big one, and celebrating at the huntington library & gardens (truly one of my favorite places in cali) with an afternoon tea, was quite perfect.

february:

the month kicks off with an unexpected sleepover not too far from home.  my friend and co-worker (who i rarely get to see anymore), melissa (r.) was in anaheim at the grand californian for a company training.  she invited me to come for a slumber party, so, why not!  we met up with another friend and co-worker for late night girl talk and spent some lovely post-training afternoon time at the pool the following day before returning to 'real life'.

i take a work trip to vegas where the new booth continues to impress. i get to spend my off-time with melissa (n.), as well as visiting with my old roommate, heather. this time the visit with heather includes five more dogs!  and while the puppy energy is a little nutty, i especially appreciate fur babies when i'm away from my own.  i also get a chance to spend some time with my freeman cousins.  i loathe vegas, but now that i have "people' there, it makes my frequent visits much more enjoyable.

march:

the month begins with a trip to williamsburg, va for work.  originally, julie and kids had planned to meet me there for a day at busch gardens. until we realize that it's not open yet!  instead, i drive to raleigh to spend a day with them, and to get a bearing on the place that will serve as my temporary home when i arrive in nc.  then it's time for some actual work... but my co-worker greg and i did find a little bit of time to explore the historic town.

from williamsburg, i'm headed directly on to the next event in tampa, fl. but before i get there, i get some terrible news.  my old roommate calls (i send her to voicemail, as i'm boarding a plane), she calls again. voicemail again. then she texts.  a mutual friend of ours has passed away.  she had been living with heather in las vegas, and heather's husband had found her that morning.  initially, they didn't know exactly how long she had been gone or what had happened, but we would eventually learn that, at age 41, holly jarvinen died unexpectedly from congenital heart failure.  it was devastating news, and though my first response was to try and be strong for heather - her closest friend - i went through my own kind of shock.  it would take a couple of weeks before it felt real all the time, as opposed to that weird ptsd mode of feeling real one moment and not real the next, where your brain just can't process.  holly is the third friend of mine to pass in the last five years, and i still can't quite wrap my head around it.

but i had to get on the plane.  it's been about fifteen years since my last visit to tampa, and i had been excited to see a relatively 'new' city.  maybe that was just what i needed to avoid falling down the rabbit hole of sudden loss.  instead, i made myself readily available to heather and other friends via phone, while i tried to get my job done, and see what tampa had to offer.  i remember thinking that it was the only city in florida i had ever really liked, and it turned out, my memory was correct.  the food was amazing, and i was incredibly impressed with the consistently good service.  i also got a chance to spend some time with melissa (n.) as we took in a spring training baseball game (braves v. yankees) and explore the ybor city area via trolley and foot.

shortly after returning home from tampa, things went even more sideways.  still emotionally wounded from the loss of a friend,  i'm in a car accident, the victim of a red-light runner.  while my body and health are fine (for which i'm grateful!), my car is totaled.  my 2004 saturn was meant to last another year or so, giving me a chance to make the big move and get settled in before investing in a new car and committing (for the first time in years) to a car payment.  but the universe had other plans, and i found myself wading through the soul-crushing bureaucracy of insurance company rules, rental car restrictions, payouts, and loan-getting.  it's an overwhelming week as i began to feel the weight of all the change and loss that seems to be coming at once.  i want to just wallow for awhile, but i don't have the luxury of time.  the one thing (aside from my physical health) that i have going for me in regards to the car, is that i have driven A LOT of rental cars.  so many, in fact, that i've known for years what i wanted the 'next car' to be.  which, since i had a really limited amount of time to make decision and act on it, was a huge blessing.  i go look at a couple of cars, knowing i've found "the one" before i even see it in person, so after the test drive confirming it, i put a deposit down, sign a contract, and leave - without the car - hoping that they will honor the contract until the loan check arrives and clears.

still driving a rental car, which i am now paying for out of pocket (since it turns out that the insurance company will only cover three days if your car is totaled), i head to ontario to finally meet up with my friend vicki for an evening out. we've been trying to get together for a year, and were finally able to make it work.  i'm feeling particularly grateful for the timing as it now seems so much more important than it did a week before to spend quality time with people you care about.  vicki has season tickets for the local hockey team, and before heading there, we enjoyed breaking some bread and getting caught up.  perfect girls night!

not long after, i'm headed to salt lake city.   i planned the trip in february when the world was all sunshine and daisies. on one hand, the timing seems semi-inconvenient since i'm still in car-limbo, but i have a sense that the trip is an unexpected tender mercy -- a time, when most needed, to take advantage of the natural healing power that comes from being with people you love.  it's been several years since my last visit, and i know that it will be harder to do from the east coast, so i take full advantage of every opportunity. my visit includes some really phenomenal time with cousins, catch-up time with my old friend scott, a visit with brandon,  a friend who used to live in california (which includes an epic haircut and shave -- his, not mine), attending the general women's session at the conference center, spending time with corey & jill, checking out a salt lake real game, and reconnecting with a high school friend.  sadly, this trip was also supposed to consist of a reunion with houston, my ex-boyfriend's son, to whom i played mom for several years, but a family health emergency arose and he had to leave town.  all in all though, it was exactly what i needed.  i continue to be so grateful for my family and good friends. i adore them, and they have no idea how much peace came from spending time with them.

originally scheduled to fly home late monday evening, i maneuver my way onto an earlier flight so that i can (finally) go pick up the new car!  while in utah, i was driving a version of my car, another equinox, but a more basic model.  my four day "test-drive" left me feeling like the car was ok. it was fine.  it was an improvement on my last one, for sure.  and then, upon concluding the final details, when i finally got into MY car, it was so much better than ok.  it was perfect.  though it is a 2012 model, it feels like new.  there are so many bells and whistles and it was clearly well taken care of.  i just love everything about it!  which will make it a little easier to swallow the car payment thing.  and, of course, it's probably a blessing in disguise having a safer, more comfortable car to drive cross country in.  that's what i keep telling myself anyway.

there you have it, 2015, so far, in a nutshell. there has been good, bad, and ugly, and i have to confess, i'm holding my breath a little about what the near future has in store...

vegas

i don't know how much more i can say about vegas.  i feel like i've 'been there, done that' so many times that it's getting a little old. but i'll give it a shot.

i had a lot of mixed emotions going into this conference.  a staffing upset just two weeks before my departure had left me and other members of my team scrambling into problem solving mode, and the outcome left us all feeling a little shaken.  so, in addition to my normal 'fear and loathing' i felt a trepidation i've not experienced in a very long time in a professional setting.  and yet, i was really excited to see melissa, katherine, the bulgarian, and my freeman cousins!

so before i set out on the four hour drive, i decided that i had done everything within my power to fix what was broken and i began the process of letting it go.  that process moved much more quickly once i arrived, when i headed directly to the exhibit hall to check-in on things and to deliver my special valentine's goodies.

i have discovered about myself that i am not naturally service oriented.  i am always so appreciative to be the recipient -- in any context, but when i am the 'giver' it is with a very conscious effort.

in the last several months, i feel like i've finally settled into california. i don't know why it took me seven+ years, and it's not in my long term plan to stay here, but since being shaken from my 'routine' of the last five years, i feel more at ease here.  and, as a result, i find that i am becoming a little more...me.  i've cooked more in the last six months than i have in the last 10 years.  i find that i am more aware of others, more naturally inclined to want to do nice things. i feel more creative than i have in a long long time.  and i think being here in long beach gives me the freedom to engage in social activities or to power down when needed without feeling like i 'should' be doing this or that.

all that to say that i have recently had a number of occasions to be reminded how gratifying it can be to

exercise intended thoughtfulness.  in this case, most of my exhibit team had been on the road for nearly four straight weeks with other clients at other shows.  i knew they would all be tired and missing home, so even though i didn't arrive until the 15th, i took the opportunity valentine's day provided to show my appreciation with some 'made in my kitchen' baked goods.  their reactions were, i suspect, of greater benefit to me than my gifts were to them. which was a nice way to kick things off, since it would be a very long few days.

6 days in vegas feels like double that in most other cities, and not in the good way.  just the walk from my room to the exhibit hall is enough to drain me for the rest of the day, but that's just the beginning of the exhaustion.  fortunately, some of my favorite people were in attendance at this conference.  i got to spend my evenings with melissa, katherine (who i introduced to serendipity's famous frozen hot chocolate), emil, and of course, my cousins. they all managed to keep me sane in their own unique ways, and that went a long way to taking edge off my least favorite city.

all in all, the event was a success. more than i would have dared to hope.  and the best part? only one more (very) quick trip to vegas next month before i can write the city off for another year!

thankful

thanksgiving can be a difficult holiday for me.  i lost my dog cyra on my first thanksgiving here in california, and, with only a couple of exceptions, have spent most of them (since i moved here) flying solo.  it always seems to be a reminder that my family is far away.

this would be the year to change all that, however!  my cousin and her family recently moved to las vegas from utah.  initially, i thought this would just help make my dreaded work trips there a little sweeter, but i didn't realize there would be a holiday bonus as well!

laurie and her husband shawn were hosting thanksgiving for her siblings and their families, and were kind enough to invite me to join them.  i just couldn't pass up the opportunity to spend the holiday with so many people i love.

the long weekend consisted of everything a good thanksgiving SHOULD consist of; great food, great conversation, games, movies, sleeping in, staying up too late, pool and hot tub time (i mean, it's vegas after all), and a 15 passenger van.

growing up, i only saw these cousins about once every other year, but i have always felt a deep connection and abiding love for them.  they are people who i would choose to spend time with even if we weren't related, and based on some of the families i know, that is the highest praise i can give.

leg 2: vegas

after taking a bite of the big apple, i was en route to vegas for some annual training.

shortly after arriving, i met up with terry, one of my trade show besties (and the reason i ended up on stage with keith urban a couple of years ago).  since his promotion last year, i no longer get to see him at our human resource conferences, so i look forward to seeing him at the exhibitor show every year.

though we had originally discussed dinner and a show, i passed on dinner in favor of room service and a shower, meeting up with him after to go see our show.

we had decided on la reve, a cirque style show, similar to o, and i was excited to see the aquatic acrobatics.

our seats were in the second row -- in the splash zone -- and i was pleased to see that similar to cirque's love, it was a theater-in-the-round. i was also pleased to learn that they would allow flash-less photos, and as you might imagine, i took full advantage.

all in all, i'd have to say that it was second only to love on my list of favorite vegas shows.   it was quite beautiful. i enjoyed the diverse music and characters, and, of course, the company.

the next morning found me in early classes getting some mediocre training.  and, even though the training wasn't as spot on as i had hoped, i appreciate that the conference gives me an opportunity to reconnect with industry friends - sharing challenges and successes in our respective markets.

dinner with the exhibit house was on tap for the evening, and, since i've developed great relationships with some of them, it felt like a dinner out with friends.  to that end, mike and i met up with terry at the invite only house of blues foundation room before calling it a night.

vegas, baby

the annual february las vegas pilgrammage turned out to be relatively pain free.  i managed to avoid getting sick (last year spent 4 of the 7 days holed up in my hotel room with the most miserable cold/flu i can recall having), avoided drama (with this many co-workers in town, it seems there is always drama), visited the zombie apocalypse store (which was a little disappointing) and spent time with some of my favorite co-workers and colleagues.

since a couple of our crew had never been to las vegas before, i played tour guide and showed them around some of my favorite strip-spots, including dim sum at the palazzo and the bellagio fountains.

however, by far the most dramatic turn of events happened about 5 minutes and 2 stop lights from me, and for several hours, i had no idea.

during a layover in dallas on my way from vegas to columbus, the news and the random overheard snippets of airport conversation were singularly focused on the events of the morning.  at about 4:30am, while i was on my way to the airport, there was a vehicular shoot out on the strip which resulted in an exploding taxi and left 3 dead. and i had been close. very close.  scary close.

not even a week before, after shootings reasonably close to my california home, i received a number of messages from family and friends wanting to make sure i was okay. my response? "totally fine! i'm in vegas!".  needless to say, i'm glad those did not become 'famous last words'.

i've experienced what i suspect is an above average amount of  'nearness' to crime sprees, shootouts, live munition detonations, and other downright unsafe situations, and while i don't mean to be over dramatic about it (after all, i'm totally fine), this one left me a little rattled.  i was grateful to be putting vegas in the rear view, having had an unexpectedly successful visit to my least favorite city.

fear and loathing in las vegas

for a single woman (who would like to be otherwise), valentine's day brings with it a fair amount of fear and (self) loathing.  my mo in previous years has been to completely ignore the greeting card holiday, but when a work trip meant i'd be traveling to  las vegas on the dreaded day, where i was sure to be surrounded by lovey dovey couples (who may or may not be drunk), and i wasn't sure how well my 'ignore tactic' would work.

enter one of my favorite people!  melissa, would also be in town early for some meetings and wanted to see if i'd be interested in seeing a show that night.

yes, yes, yes! it's always a priority to spend time with melissa when our conference schedules cross paths, but i was espcially excited to catch up early in the trip, rather than somewhere in the middle or end when we are both exhausted.  and, barring having a handsome gentleman to be macking on ;), i couldn't have asked for a better date.

i had decided to drive to vegas this time to have some flexibility (in timing AND in packing), and i enjoyed the road trip. arrived safely and without incident, got unpacked, took a quick shower, and met up with my girl for dinner.

we opted for a casual meal (with the promise of frozen hot chocolate) at serendipty and chowed down before heading over to the tent outside of caesar's palace, where we would see absinthe.

i'll be honest in saying that i couldn't recommend it to about 70% of my friends and family, as i know it would exceed the 'crude' and 'vulgar' tolerances of most of them (you), but i'll also admit to really enjoying it. there was one 'bit' that was definitely over the line for me, but other than that, i found myself laughing a lot and really enjoying the acrobatics.

i also appreciated the small space, which made for some truly excellent voyeurism, and the 'permission' to take photos.  i wish more shows would do that.  i didn't see one flash go off and there were a number of people snapping pics.  it was nice to be treated like an adult!

all in all, it was a great girlfriend date night. good company, good food, good laughs, and good aerialists.  couldn't have asked for more!