(last) weekend update

every year my ward hosts what has become the largest mid-singles conference...anywhere.  when i first joined the ward a few years ago, i was asked to co-chair the event, and have not attended since.  my excuse is that i have been out of town for work or other prior commitments, but for the sake of full disclosure, it's been a relief to have an 'out'.

ben h & i -reunited

it may be an age thing or a tolerance thing, but my dislike of large social events has increased exponentially in the last several years. give me a dinner or activity with 3-10 people and i am happy to socialize.  any more than that and my comfort level plummets.  i think people behave differently in larger groups, and i just don't like it!  conversations are superficial, eyes wander, engagement suffers.  and here's where the lack of tolerance comes in. 

ben b & i - also reunited!

in my mind, it serves no purpose to invest in someone with whom the conversation will be superficial, the eyes will be wandering, and the engagement will be questionable. rather, if i am going to spend valuable time getting to know someone new, i want to believe there is a possibility that we will give each other a chance to be real...maybe not immediately disclosing our lifetimes of hopes and dreams, but at least getting past the 'where are you from?" question, and assessing whether there is any sort of foundation for building a friendship.

my new friend rod & my old friend jamie

so, when i started feeling like i should attend this year's conference, i also started fighting that feeling.  and i had an excuse. i had a work event.  i couldn't do it.  then i was asked to be on one of the planning committees, and i was happy to be of service--particularly since my travel often prohibits it.  and then, i realized, while working with some fabulous people that i hadn't known very well before, just how disconnected my travel schedule had made me.  and all of the sudden i stopped fighting the feeling that i should attend, and embraced it.

jamie, pete, and i

of course, it meant jumping through a lot of hoops to get my work event handled, and a very early flight out this morning to be in orlando by the time the event actually begins, but, i felt good about that.  ...then i started developing expectations.  i mean, if i was having to do some massive maneuvering to attend this thing, it better be worth it. right?

it took me a full two weeks beforehand to get my attitude adjusted. and, ultimately i decided that i wasn't going to let the possibility of meeting a guy or not meeting a guy determine the success or failure of the experience.  i would consider it a success if i had a good time.  

perfect day for some sunshine - with nicole

even that was slightly questionable however, and with some trepidation, i joined my friend jamie, and her friend kirsten for the opening friday night activities at a local bowling alley.

though i was highly doubtful that i would actually have any fun at this event, i was quickly proven wrong, when, from my anti-social-suck-on-a-soda perch, i saw an old virginia friend walk through the door.

in the hot air balloon at great park, irvine

one of many things i've learned over the last five years, is that as much as i appreciate california's perks and pleasures, i'm still really 'east coast'.  i don't know exactly what it means or how to explain it, but i know it makes me different from the west coast people.  i've struggled to find meaningful friendships here as a result (and forget dating a local!), and on the few occasions i have met someone with whom i instantly 'click', they have been from the east. so you can imagine how excited i was to see an east coast friend! and he wasn't the only one.  ben b. was also in town for the conference, and between the two of them, i felt like i had a little of my old home in my new home for a full 48 hours, and it was WONDERFUL!

after that, i had the weekend in the bag.  i enjoyed making new friends, getting back on my beach cruiser for the first time since my knee surgery, spending my first afternoon at the beach in almost as long, and just generally enjoying the positive energy of a weekend at home!