creature of the light and night

i have a new boyfriend. his name is bradley, and he is 5. but he'll be six next month. today was the first time i've met bradley. he normally comes to nvtrp on wednesday nights, so our relationship may be over before it's truly begun. however, that doesn’t minimize the fact that i adore him.

i'm not sure exactly what his disability is, but he doesn't have the physical strength to hold his own weight, and his mental acuity is behind that of normal developmental stages. that cannot negate the sweetness of his smile or laugh, however, and we took an instant liking to each other. he says he'll remember me for a hundred years, but i would be happy with a week.

that made the morning fly by, even though my last rider was one of the more difficult. at his first lesson, this boy was crying, screaming, pinching, and biting. it was amazing to see the progress he has made in just a short two weeks. no crying, no screaming, no biting, and only one or two pinches. believe me, the improvement was marked. so even though his lesson required a lot more energy than the other two, it was still extremely rewarding to see the impact that the program is having on him.

the other thing i really enjoy about being involved with this group, is that much like gardening (when i used to garden), it is the only thing currently in my life that simply does not allow the world in. i don’t care what i look like, or what is going on outside of that riding ring. nothing exists but me, the horses, the children, and the instructors. and anytime i can shut the world out, i consider it a miracle.

but, for whatever reason, shutting the world out seems to take a lot of energy. today in particular. so i came home, showered, took a nap, and accomplished only a couple of my 'to dos' before heading to fairfax to bowl.


seeing as how this is my first real foray into sociability in sometime, and i was going with a massive headache, i was a tad bit apprehensive. but as usual, stephanie managed to bring together a bunch of fun people, and a good time was had, particularly by me, who had the high score for the evening. not that that has anything to do with it of course;)












more pics here.

short attention span theater

i got bored with my site again. this one may not last long, but i needed a change to reflect my sincere hopes that summer is not too far away.

***

in other news, last night we said farewell to another co-worker. an institution at the institution. cina has been here for i don't even know how long, and has been the spine of the department, allowing us all to get our jobs done with more efficiency and fewer politics--the value of which cannot be overstated.

***

it seems that in every job i have been in, at at least one period during my tenure, there has been a mass exodus of sorts. you never know who is going to kick it off, but once it begins, employees fall like dominos. i can't help but wonder if this is sheer coincidence, or if seeing someone else leave encourages our own restlessness and desire for something new. i know that i have certainly been feeling like i need a change lately, but when i really analyze it, it doesn't make any sense.

***

i'm in the final preparatory stages of the spring gala planning, which is the type of event event planners love to plan. expected attendance is 3000+. we'll have three djs (one top 40, one latin/salsa, one hip-hop/r&b) and two live bands. the theme is 'around the world', so each ballroom will have different decor and menu items (e.g. the asian market, the mexican cantina, the greek garden, etc.).

basically, it is the most creative i get to be all year. and i'm starting to panic. i always do this when i get to the homestretch. i start thinking i haven't worked hard enough--that i don't have enough overtime hours, and it is all going to blow up in my face. it never does, and my panic no longer garners sympathy around here. when i tell someone i'm starting to get nervous, the response is always the same 'you always do this, and it's always perfect. stop worrying.'

but they pay me to worry. they pay me for the things that enter my little pea brain at 2:45am in my pseudo-sleep. the things that probably no one will notice, but if they weren't taken care of, everyone would. so for two more weeks, i worry, i plan, and i stop feeling restless.

***

after april 1, i have to start giving thought and energy to the mid-singles again. the one disadvantage of having a church calling that in many ways mirrors your job, is that the burnout seems to happen a heck of a lot faster. maybe this gala will stem a new wave of energy and brilliance. here's hoping anyway!

***

i have been having weird dreams about my dog, ever since i saw eight below. well, really they are nightmares involving fights with other animals, missing appendages, that sort of thing. last night i dreamed i was visiting my ex-boyfriend and his wife (and it wasn't an amicable breakup) in utah, and i brought cyra. she was outside playing in the backyard with his dog, found a niche under the fence and disappeared forever. this is all very disconcerting, since i rarely remember my dreams, and when i do i have about a 50/50 track record of them actually happening in some form or another. yikes!

***

for those of you interested in how the wedding plans are proceeding, still no groom potentials. however, according to tickle.com, i still have nothing to worry about:

the wedding date predictor

tara, you're a total opening very soon!

congratulations, and make sure to put tickle on the guest list! start making your plans now. we have calculated your responses according to our scientific formula and harmonized the results to the venutian lunar calendar. if you are not already attached, keep in mind that all men who cross your path may be grooms in disguise.

you will be married by: saturday, august 2, 2008

social factors

on the social front, you are pretty serious marriage material. as you read this, forces beyond your control are aligning to put you on the altar with mr. right. it's you, girl. your number is up, and someone out there is just dying to pop you the question. there's no need to book a flight to vegas, but you might want to start thinking about your wedding gown.

emotional factors

emotionally, you seem to be very ready for marriage. you have got what it takes to run the distance, and all signs are "go." in our opinion, mr. right clearly senses your readiness, and is just gathering the courage to pop the question. maybe you should give a few subtle hints, such as mentioning how much you love diamonds, or asking whether you look good in bridal white.

sexual factors

you have very few sexually motivated reasons for avoiding marriage. of course, the carefree single life can pose a strong attraction, but you probably prefer the thought of devoting yourself to one person. it's true that there are a lot of unsolved mysteries out there, but once you've found the right person, it's time to close shop. congratulations on having the strength and security to know what's right for you.

***

if you ever wanted to know how to say, 'your place or mine?' in latin, here it is: apudne te vel me?

***

that's all for today's short attention span theater. thank you for coming. we hope you enjoyed the show.

a trunk full of...me

when i was cleaning out my car before the drive to new york, i couldn't help but consider whether or not the items found in my trunk would provide an accurate portrayal of me.

said items include:

(1) beach chair
(1) boogie board
(1) blanket
(1) yoga mat
(2) books
(1) emergency roadside kit, including jumper cables, flares, flasher, etc.
(1) dress
(1) event kit, including surge protector, sharpies, scissors, exacto, etc.
(1) pair flip flops
(2) book of mormons
(1) racquetball racquet
(1) bin sunglasses
(2) purses

so does my trunk define me adequately? well, it comes pretty close.

i love the beach and don't get there often enough.

you never know when you are going to be stuck in your car in the middle of a snowstorm, so a blanket is never a bad idea.

with my new found love of yoga, i can never be sure when i might want to drop in on a class.

i'm often early for meetings and appointments and end up killing time. part of the reason i am working on so many books at once.

as many times as i have left my lights on, it would be plain stupid to drive around without jumper cables.

i bought a dress in preparation for my upcoming spring gala, but it will require some modification. i may end up returning it.

an event kit is a must for any event planner, and it's just easier to keep it in my car.

flip flops always come in handy after a long day at work in heels, or for on the fly pedicures.

just in case i bump into someone on the street who wants more info about being mormon, the b of m is the perfect solution.

racquetball is the only sport i truly love to play.

i have sensitive eyes and need sunglasses even in cloudy conditions. the quantity and variety stems from sheer vanity.

a girl always needs a stash of purses. i have them stashed in all sorts of places.

if i were going to add anything to the trunk to round out the portrait, i think the only other things i would include are a cd changer (except i really only use my ipod in my car) and a photo album (except most of my photo albums are digital). other than that, i think my trunk represents the various sides of me quite well!

bella luna

the lunar eclipse seems to be wreakin' a bit of havoc. the quiet existence (otherwise known as the 'hole') i have created for myself in the last couple of months seems to have fallen in on me in the span of twenty four hours.

i have always had an interest in an astrology. i don't believe everything i read, but i have a feeling that somehow there is truth in some of it. and if not, it makes for great entertainment. so this morning, when i mentioned a recent pleasant but unexpected development to a co-worker, her response was 'it must be the lunar eclipse. it's making everything wonky.'

tonight's eclipse was a full penumbral, which is apparently very rare (occuring only five times this century, with the next one occurring in 2053). in this kind of eclipse, the earth stands exactly between the sun and the moon as the moon crosses through earth's outer perimeter shadow, or penumbra. it isn't a total lunar eclipse, which occurs when the moon runs through the shadow core and turns a rusty brown. in a penumbral eclipse, the color change is supposedly more subtle.

given my predisposition to be interested in things like moons and tides and horoscopes, i did a little reading. i'm a virgo, and as it happens, this particular eclipse is occurring in the house of virgo, which, in theory, means is affects me more strongly. as a completely unrelated oddity, this eclipse began at 21:21, the number that has consistently imposed it's own set of strange occurences in my life.

based on the way things have been going and are looking, i found the following info/speculation particularly interesting:

eclipses are extremely powerful full and new moons, and represent a key tool the universe uses to create dramatic, rapid change. generally, we get four eclipses a year, and they always come in pairs, two weeks apart, every five- and-a-half months.

until now all the eclipses have been in aries-libra or taurus-scorpio, but those families of eclipses are over. (more accurately, this month, the last eclipse in the aries-libra family, a solar eclipse in aries, will occur with the march 29 eclipse.)

starting this month, all future eclipses (falling every five-and-a-half months) will be in virgo and pisces until they are finished on february 21, 2008. at that time a total of eight eclipses in that family of signs will have occurred, all at very different mathematical degrees. each eclipse will touch a different virgo birthday. the march 14 eclipse will be a full moon lunar eclipse, and lunar eclipses bring an ending. the march 29 eclipse will be a solar eclipse, marking a fresh start. lunar eclipses are far more emotional experiences for they are full moons, while a solar eclipse is more rational and objective.

all eclipses seem to bring curve balls and unexpected events, and that's why we almost always sit up and take notice of events that come by.

- you might say that it's been coming a long time. relationship matters that blow into your life near the full moon lunar eclipse march 14 could rock your world, so brace for news you don't expect. this lunar eclipse will be in virgo, so you may feel like you are in the center of the storm.

- with eclipses, follow along and do the right thing. there are non-negotiable events that have to be taken seriously. you can get the right help and feel great again later, but getting there starts with getting help from a doctor or dentist.

- the universe sends us eclipses to be sure we are aware of certain circumstances or activities. it will be important to jump on what comes to light.

- with mercury retrograde, chances of a misunderstanding with your partner will increase, so make sure you get and send the right message. still, in this case, mercury retrograde will more likely act in a different way, to force you to go back to an earlier issue that was never resolved. you will either fix it by applying a completely different and quite innovative solution or give up on the relationship and leave the alliance altogether.

eclipse or no eclipse, things are getting very interesting.

live from new york

(this episode has been pre-recorded)

wow, a whole three days without a post. you didn't think it was possible, did you? apparently it is. and cutting myself off from most everything and everyone did wonders for me.

oral surgery on wednesday was pretty painful. when the doctor prescribed pain killers, he said 'just in case'. just in case! the second the novacaine started wearing off, i was on my way to the pharmacy. and once there i had to wait an hour. apparently crying does not get your prescription filled any faster.

the rest of wednesday and thursday were pretty miserable, but i had planned to leave for ny to see deb on friday afternoon, and i wasn't going to be stopped. fortunately, by friday the pain had lessened enough so that i could drive without the painkillers.

after running a couple of errands i left at about 1pm, knowing i was playing with fire by arriving in the city around rush hour. but i thought it couldn't be that bad. famous last thoughts. the three miles from the nj turnpike exit to the far side of the lincoln tunnel took me an hour and a half. no lie. they had seven or eight lanes merging into one. and worse than that, in my lane were a bunch of pa drivers (who are by far the worst). they forgot they were now in ny, and were actually giving people the arm out the window 'please let me merge' signs. lol. the one thing i've learned from driving in new york is that you have to think 'i am getting in that lane. if you are going to try and stop me, you are going to have to hit me,' or you'll never get anywhere. apparently pennsylvania drivers still have yet to learn that.

eventually i made it to deb's and was simply exhausted. i beat her home, but not by much, and we chilled out for while. originally we had intended to go to a birthday dinner of her friend renee (who i have been looking forward to meeting). but the location and timing just didn't work for me. i needed to recuperate before venturing out again.

as an alternative, we ended up going for sushi (though i had teriyaki) with andrea, hillary, lisa, chris, chris' brother, and matt. i wish i hadn't felt so out of it, but it was fun to finally put some faces to names, and of course, spending time with matt is always a pleasure;) if tamara had been there, it would have been the icing on the cake!

after dinner, matt, deb, and i headed to blockbuster, while the rest of the group went back to deb's. it's a scary thing being dubbed 'movie picker' for a group, it's so much pressure! finally we came to a consensus and grabbed 'elizabethtown'. a quick ice cream stop and we were headed home.

with the exception of lisa, who went to bed a few minutes in, the group enjoyed the movie. it was a fairly perfect evening for me. curling up in the recliner with the most amazing pineapple coconut ice cream i've ever had, and watching one of my favorite movies. now that is a vacation.

the perfection continued on saturday. we slept in, had a quick bite, and headed out to enjoy the beautiful weather by shopping, what else. it was one of those magical shopping days. you know, the days when you take stuff into a dressing room without the faintest hope it will fit. then it does. and it looks amazing. it was one of those days. multiple stores, multiple items. i got to the point i just stopped trying on things because i knew they would fit, and that i would love them, and that i would spend more money. we hit all the usual haunts, enjoyed paninis at a side street cafe, and covered a lot of territory.

we hurried home to throw our flip flops on and get to the nail place before they closed. it was divine to be completely pampered after spending the day working so hard, and it's probably the best manicure i've ever had.

then it was time for dinner (which we grabbed at whole foods) and getting ready for the regional stake singles dance, which, this time around was latin.

i've been in a real anti-boy mode the last couple of months. not that i'm 'down with boys' or anything, just no one has really struck my fancy, and i've been focusing more on improving me. it was a wonderful thing to get ready for a dance knowing that while i wanted to look good for me, i didn't care what anyone else thought. truly. i probably care too much what people think on a normal regular basis, so it was completely refreshing.

the dance was a little bit of a disappointment. the turnout was lower than expected, and they had been doing dance classes every week prior in preparation, so most of the dancers were people that had attended the classes, and they were pretty exclusive in their pairings.

however, the only hope/expectation i had of the evening was to see mihaela, which i did. after the dance, she, deb, and i headed to a nearby diner so that we could get caught up, which all in all made for another perfect evening, topped off by tea and cookies at deb's with detailed analysis of the evening. like i said. perfect.

sunday involved sleeping in again, and then getting ready for church. i realized that every time i go to new york, i expect to be intimidated by 'beautiful fabulous people'..you know, the ones living 'the life'. and every time i go, i come away thinking, that could have been langley, or colonial, or any other singles ward. just a bunch of single mormons, some of whom are more beautiful and more fabulous than others. speaking of which, i will say this... sometimes, when you go to church in new york, you take the sacrament with this guy:

aaron eckhart

to be fair, i wasn't watching whether or not he took the sacrament, but i was watching. hubba. hubba.

aside from that entertainment, the highlight at church was finally getting to meet deb's friend renee, who i instantly liked. i was regretting the choice to bail on friday's dinner a little bit, but i'm sure there will be an opportunity to get to know her better in the future. i was also happy to meet renee's brother who had flown in from ut that morning to visit, and who, despite his youth, still had me at a loss for words.

hey, just cause i'm not in a boy phase doesn't mean i can't appreciate a beautiful one when he is sitting next to me in church. geesh. i'm not dead!

after church, i grabbed a bite, finished packing, and headed out. it was a long drive. i was tired, and relieved to finally make it home to find my dog not only alive, but with all four legs (i had had a nightmare about this).

all in all it was an awesome weekend. low-key and relaxed. i got to hang out with deb on her turf again, which is always fun, and to meet some new people, buy some new things, and just generally enjoy a no-obligation weekend.

for the rest of the pics, click here