just a matter of time...

lately, it seems everyone is starting photography businesses. combined with the gentle prodding of close friends (lara in particular), i've been giving some thought to doing the same. it is no secret to any of you that i love taking photos. whether i love being in them more, is debatable, but for the purpose of this monologue, we'll just forget about that.

over the years i have done engagement and wedding photos for friends and family, and i suppose it was just a matter of time before i gave serious thought to making a business out of it. truth is, i still have absolute confidence that marriage and family are in my future, and in an ideal world, i will be able to stay at home with the kids. with that in mind, i have been pondering for years what viable 'side-business' i could implement. the obvious answer was event planning, but to get an event planning company up and running would take a lot more legwork. photography is something i love equally well, and is probably equally lucrative, with less time investment required.

so, the 'official' launch of this new business is probably six months off...pending relocation, the purchase of a new camera, and photoshop classes. the camera is the big roadblock at the moment. i simply can't afford to invest without having any idea where my income will be coming from at the end of september, and i don't think anyone will take me seriously with my point and shoot...even if it is 10mp.

in the meantime, i'm trying to put the pieces in place so that when i am ready to go, i am READY to go. the first piece for me was beginning the website. it's still a work in progress, but feel free to check it out and comment. constructive criticism is always welcome!

spotlit photography

*****

in other news, kate and kendyl are moving back from nashville at the end of the month. needless to say, the info came as a surprise, particularly after having spent 20+ hours in a van moving her there only two months ago. nonetheless, it was great news to all of us, and means that i get a little more time than i thought i did!

*****

i had a dream about my future husband last night. he was tall, dark haired, and 37. today i have been scouring all the mormon singles sites in search of him. it's possible he's 36 and will be turning 37, and it's also possible that he is the brother of someone i know. so, if you have a brother who is tall, dark haired, single, and 36 or 37, send him my way. you could be personally responsible for my eternal happiness! (ps...lara, you know who does not qualify as your brother--he came up in my search today--even though you have known him so long).

memory monday

in light of all the blog trends out there (self-portrait tuesday, wordless wednesday, to name a couple) i thought i would institute my own. there is no rhyme or reason to when or why i will or won't hop on someone else's bandwagon, but in this case i just haven't been able to bring myself to do it...maybe because i don't want to be limited to posting self-portraits only once a week, or because i am rarely, if ever, wordless.

so i thought i would take a stab at implementing a blog trend that suits me a little better. as such, i bring you...memory monday...a day in which, i take a few moments to reflect on the past. i will caveat this up front to say that my memory is not perfect. i will attempt to retell these stories with accuracy, but in some cases, the retelling will include secondhand accounts, and minor embellishments that have taken place in my own head over the years.

in considering what the first installment should be, i started perusing through old photos. i'm sure you will see quite a few of them, but let's start with this one:

pictured (l to r): me, aunt ?shannon or candy?, grandma howells, dylan

many of you do not know this about me, but i nearly grew up without a mother.

in 1979 my father accepted a position writing for jack anderson, well known muckraker and journalistic troublemaker, and my family (mom, dad, me, and dylan) left utah for the washington d.c. area.

it wasn't long after that move that my mother was diagnosed with a severe case of skin cancer. skin cancer, as it turns out is prevalent in my family. and though now it is virtually unheard of to die from skin cancer, at the time, it was possible. medical treatment not being then what it is now, the doctors did not give her an optimistic prognosis for survival.

i don't remember much about the experience, truth be told. i was all of three years old. what i remember is knowing that mom was sick. i didn't understand cancer, and i didn't understand why she had to stay at the hospital for so long. i had been sick too, but cough medicine and sleep usually cleared it right up. i didn't understand why this was different.

i remember one of my aunts (i can't remember if it was shannon or candy) and my grandma howells came to live with us, i think for a couple weeks each, and i remember that at first it felt kind of like a vacation--dylan and i were a bit spoiled as a result of the circumstances--but like all vacations, eventually, we were ready to have life return to normal, and have our mom back again.

i remember going to the hospital when we picked her up to bring her home. she was in a wheelchair. she looked fragile, but seemed so happy to see us, and to be coming home. and i remember that night, i had a dream, so vivid and terrifying that i remember it to this day.

in the dream, mom was in her wheelchair, and dad, dylan, and i were in the car. the car started moving before mom could get in, and dad couldn't stop it. the brakes weren't working and we were picking up speed. mom was holding on to the car, and she too was picking up speed (i'm trying not to laugh as i type this!). we were going downhill, and going fast...mom holding on for dear life, and dylan and i screaming while dad tried to do something, anything to stop the car. i woke up before the dream ended, but the way it was going, it wouldn't have had a happy conclusion.

strange isn't it? that i can remember the way i felt having that dream nearly 28 years ago? i may not have understood exactly what was going on with my mom, but in my 3 year old little brain, i knew something was very wrong.

fortunately for all of us, she recovered.

she lost a large chunk of skin and tissue on the inside of her left elbow, and you will never catch her wearing short sleeves. today, i'm sure they would have done a skin graft and no one would ever be the wiser, but it just wasn't done then. instead she is left with an arm that looks like someone cut a chunk out of it...which is exactly what happened.

in a way, i'm actually glad about that. i'm sure she would prefer otherwise, but every time i catch a glimpse of that scar, it reminds me what i almost lost, and how grateful i am that i didn't.

quiz time..

it's been awhile since i stole quizzes from various friends' sites, so here is me playing catch up:

Your Score: Hieroglyphics

You scored

You are Egyptian Hieroglyphics! Monumental, ornate and even in technicolour! Your users contributed virtually all ancient knowledge on inks, dyes and writing surfaces - to the point where the popular reed of Papyrus became the universal name for organic, manufactured writing surfaces in the western hemisphere for thousands of years. Proud, upstanding and dignified.

Link: The Which Ancient Language Are You Test written by imipak on OkCupid

Take the Quiz here!

$4890.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth. From Mingle2 - Free Online Dating

shameless self promotion

guess what? it's my birthday in 22ish days (august 27th). if you are just desperate to find the perfect expression of your affection and adoration for me, i dare say the links in the 'wishlists' category in the right sidebar might be of assistance. just sayin' is all.

and, if you are one of the many readers who share anne and i, she is doing a far more subtle self-promotion, but her birthday is on august 25th. today, she conveniently provided some ideas for y'all.

now back to me. did i mention it's my birthday in 22 days?

:)

pearls before...

i'm working on my lesson for sunday. it's largely about the resurrection of christ, but in reading the outline, one of the scripture sets meant to be covered set off a spark.

the scriptures tell of the encounter between two disciples on the road to emmaus and the resurrected savior. what is striking about this story is that though they were considered and called disciples, they did not recognize the master as he traveled with them.

recently, in a discussion about youth conference, mom and dad mentioned an article that had appeared in the washington post. the article, as i had been told, had a similar theme, or rather posed a similar question, would we recognize (a) master?, and detailed an experiment conducted by the post to elicit an answer to the question.

a violin prodigy and virtuoso was asked to put on 'street clothes' and play in the l'enfant metro station here in the district. he agreed, and everyone in the know watched and waited. the results were shameful in the sheer lack of interest or recognition.

joshua bell earns $1000 per performance minute, yet in l'enfant plaza, he earned just over $32 for the 43 minutes during which he played some of the most difficult pieces in existence.

very few people stopped, or recognized the difference between a 'common' street performer, and this master violinist. most just hurried by, anxious to get to their tasks for the day.

in my case at this particular moment, the application is as i have mentioned..that question of recognition. do i understand enough..am i in tune enough...have i studied enough, that i would know the master if he came? but the story certainly has a broader context as well. it serves as a reminder about priorities, about the way in which we choose to live our lives. are we living lives that would allow us to stop, to appreciate, and to recognize the gifts around us?

for my part, i find a modicum of success from time to time, but mostly i am probably a miserable failure. often a little too self-absorbed. a little too hurried. a little too ignorant. a little too ungrateful.

the article, accompanied by video snippets, though long, is well worth the read (and the watch), and served as a poignant reminder to me to vigilant about striving to become a little less self-absorbed. a little less hurried. a little less ignorant. and a lot less ungrateful.