it's 10am when my eyes flutter open. i see flowers and think my nightstand must have been made for flowers. then i realize that my morning sleep has gone undisturbed. no yelling children outside my window. no visiting house guests meeting for the day's adventure. no motorcycles marring the peaceful quiet.

it's the first morning i can remember sleeping, and, without the interruption of an alarm clock or some other agitation, waking up on my time.

what a perfect beginning. today will be all about 'my' time.

with a quick shower behind me, i waste only a few minutes getting ready, since where i'm going, it won't matter.

window down, breeze blowing. a perfect southern california day, and a perfect day to enjoy the beach.

i spend the next three hours doing nothing. the bag i've brought, stuffed with books and music, lay untouched. the only soundtrack or commentary i need today is the laughter of the families nearby, and the gentle rhythm of the ocean.

eventually, i know it's time to return to reality. and then it occurs to me that this IS reality. i'm not on vacation. this is my life.

nonetheless, it's time to get on with it. and so i do, heading towards some long overdue pampering.

as i slide my toes into the warm pedicure bath, the sun i've enjoyed is already making our little dalliance evident. both the woman at my feet and the one at my hands, neither of whom speaks a word of english, gesture and tease at the pinkness of my skin. but the teasing is for naught. i know that tomorrow the pink will have given way to a golden brown, and i smile in spite of myself.

i consider that this might be the greatest indulgence i've allowed myself for some time. then i consider that great indulgences are made even greater when made possible by others--this one coming thanks to an employer who values my work.

it 's far too soon when the time comes to exit from my massage chair. but it's made easier in the knowledge that the only things left on the to-do list today, are to slide into my favorite pajamas, crawl into my bed, and to enjoy the latest little gift arriving in it's red envelope. tonight, my date is the kite runner. i understand i'm in for a treat.

recapping

all in all, today was a pretty good day. someone special sent me flowers (tulips--my favorite), we had a banana split party at work, and my size 2 roommate asked if she could borrow a shirt. and despite all my protestations about how it would fall off her, it actually looked good.

flowers, chocolate, and feeling thinner than i am. three of my all time favorite things!

now to the easter weekend photo recap:

the weekend began on saturday morning with a celebration of drew's 8th birthday at pioneer park. as the name might indicate, the park had a western feel, and the kids attire would follow suit.

jenny had asked for my expertise (which in this case ended up being highly overrated) in planning the party. ultimately, i took responsibility for the games and foisted the rest back on jenny (see what i mean about being overrated?!) as i suspected, or at least thought possible, most of the games were left untouched, though the squirt guns were a big hit. it was a 75 degree day that felt like a 95 degree day and rachel and neighbor hannah wanted to make sure i wasn't overheating.

the children weren't the only ones enjoying themselves. several of jenny's family members came in from out of town for the weekend festivities.

after the party we headed back to mick and jenny's and arrived to find that my aunt marcia and uncle mike had made it safely from idaho. we spent the next few hours talking and laughing (there would be much of this over the course of the weekend), before we all get ready for the evening's celebration--drew's baptism.

i haven't been to a baptism in several years, and i found this one quite moving. perhaps because drew (and his siblings) now occupy a very tender place in my heart.


after church on sunday (sorry, no pictures), there was a traditional easter dinner, games, and expanding swordfighting peeps. you know, same 'ol, same 'ol.

the rest of the evening was passed with more talking and laughing.


easter is such a strange holiday. it's importance is not lost on me, but it has never felt like a 'real' holiday. my logical mind says that it should be more significant than christmas, but we don't put up trees a month in advance, we don't listen to easter carols in our cars, and we don't start treating one another more nicely, just because it's the spirit of the season. this year, being around so much family (even though most were not actually my own), and having drew's baptism serve as such a poignant usher to the spirit helped make this year's celebration quite meaningful.

tuesday again?

not a whole lot to report in sunny ca. just for that reason, i’m posting random pics.

the view from my office window

my attempts at being anti-social are achieving unprecedented amounts of success. i can’t take all the credit though, as i’m on medication that makes me extremely tired. it’s doing exactly what it’s supposed to do, so the side effect is worth it. but, when my roommates’ friends are leaving messages on our board saying things like ‘tara, do you really exist? we are aren’t sure what to think. why don’t you come out and play?,’ while i am laying in my bed dozing or watching tv, i do have to wonder if this is a normal response to the meds.

the view of my office from the airport

i did manage, during the 6 hours i was awake on saturday (i’m not kidding) to see the movie ‘definitely, maybe’ with my roommate. it’s the first movie i’ve seen in a theater since christmas. this is what a ‘budget’ looks like, people! my father will be very excited to learn that i have come to understand that that word actually means making a sacrifice here and there, while being simultaneously disappointed that his movie-loving daughter is so far behind the curve. at any rate, i treated ariane to cheesecake factory after her surgery last week (thanks for the xmas gift card mom and dad), so she treated me to ice cream and a movie. i like ryan reynolds, despite his lack of talent, and i liked the movie. i like any movie where the underlying theme is that what’s meant to be will be. or maybe that was just the message i got.

random self-portrait

today was highlighted by a visit from my favorite former employee. lezlie stopped by to pick up a a check, and we had a chance to get caught up. it was seriously so good to see her. i love that girl. she is moving back to san diego while she figures out where she wants to go back to school to get a degree in special ed. i just know that she is going to be such a wonderful blessing in so many people's lives, i'm only sad she's not sticking around here so we can hang out.

a kendyl pic i stole from kate's myspace

my cousin/nephew drew, who i refer to as such because technically he is my 2nd cousin, or 1st cousin once removed or something, but after living with he and his siblings for three months, the relationship is more closely aligned with that of aunt and nephew, will be turning 8 on saturday. MY aunt and uncle, and various family members from jenny’s side will be arriving this week for the birthday celebration, baptism, and easter holiday. hopefully the medication side effects will have worn off a bit so i can really enjoy and appreciate the family time!

saturday also marks the (holy cow, is this right?) third wedding anniversary of dylan and kelly.

sunday, is not only easter, but kate’s 24th birthday. little sis is growin’ up. i’m fairly certain her birthday and the holiday have never coincided before, so there will have to be double the celebrations back in va this year.

i’m contemplating a trip to portland next month. at the moment, tix are just over $200, which feels like a steal. the trip would give me an opportunity to see dylan and kelly, hit up the nike employee store, and satisfy some ulterior motives.

so, i guess even without a lot to report, i can still write a novella. it’s in my blood, i guess. did i mention dad’s book is available for pre-order on amazon? ;)

sast presents: tuesday

dad's book is now available for pre-order on amazon.com. go order it.

*****

i realized today that i buy clothes i love, then never wear them because i am saving them for just the 'right' function. not that i've bought anything recently. but i wore a shirt today i don't like all that much because i didn't want to waste the shirt i love on work, where there is no one to impress. the 'shirt i love' was purchased about two and a half months ago.

*****

as mentioned previously, my neck pain last week drove me to a chiropractor--a profession i am generally skeptical of. a slew of tests and x-rays were done (though i still don't have the results), and i learned that my body has issues. but, after three visits/adjustments at $60 a pop, my neck wasn't feeling any better. granted, the sharp writhing pain from turning my neck went away, but it was replaced with an achey stiffness that even further limited my range of motion.

after returning to work on friday and telling a co-worker about the visit, another co-worker overheard and came to ask the name of my doctor. i told her, and her response was "i had this sick feeling you were going to say that. i used to go to him and had an awful experience." mostly that awful experience seemed to be money related, but that was enough to send me running. as i mentioned, i'm sort of skeptical of the chiro doctors anyway. everyone i've ever known who used them frequented their offices so much i'd consider it a sort of addiction. at the same time. my neck still hurt.

i did a little more digging and one of my mormon colleagues, who also lives in huntington gave me the name of and extremely high praise for a doctor here in hb. his first comment was that he was really honest, so i was willing to try it.

i had my first appointment yesterday, and already the difference is significant. the other appointments weren't 'bad.' they weren't making it worse. they just weren't making it better. at all.

the previous doctor adjusted only my neck. 'dr. john' adjusted my upper and lower back, my hip, AND my neck. and of course his wife was there with their totally cute and lovable dog. and now i feel better:)

not 100%, but much much better.

*****

i honestly think zicam nasal swabs are the best cold-stoppers ever.

*****

once again, my astrologyzone.com horoscope is pretty dead on. i seriously love that site. the most appropriate for the month of march seems to be....

You do still have Saturn on your Sun, which means you are handling more responsibility than ever. You may have taken on a new position or started a new business, moved cross-country, got married, had your first baby, or purchased your first house. Something about what you are doing is so new that there will be lots to learn. Every day is new - and exhausting.

*****

speaking of sites i love, i have a new addiction.



canadians get a bad rap. this is brilliant.

*****

thus concludes another monumental episode of short attention span theater.
thank you for your attention.

no touristy la stuff...just yet.

the only thing i have come to expect is that i can't reasonably expect anything. unfortunately, deb's trip was postponed, but she will most definitely be here soon.

it probably worked out for the best though as i started feeling slightly under the weather by week's end, and in an effort to keep the 'weather' off the coast, i loaded up on preventative medicine (i seriously love zicam), and stuck pretty close to my bed. (of course the trashy romance novel posing as a literary sequel to 'pride and predjudice' may have had just a little something to do with that decision. i can't help it. i was hoodwinked.)

that seemed to pay off well, although none of my medications have been able to help with the severe neck pain and lack of movement i developed on sunday.

i woke up that morning, twisted my neck just so, and bam. i wasn't able to manage turning my head more than 10ish degrees without also having to turn my entire upper body along with it. i did my best to get ready and headed to church, where i was sustained in my new calling. that of being the mid-singles conference co-chair.

in it's second year of existence, and with it being two months away, there is much to be done. last year's conference had 1200 or so attendees from all over the country, and though i did not attend, it got rave reviews. (not that those two are related, just stating two separate facts.)

fortunately, my co-chair is the same guy that put it together last year, so the task isn't as daunting as it sounds. not to mention that it will be a great opportunity to meet a lot of people, and probably see some familiar dc faces as well.

i headed home after sacrament meeting to take some pills with every intention of returning for relief society, but the pills (left over knee surgery painkillers) had another plan, and i was out like a light.

unfortunately, neither that nap, nor that night's sleep relieved the pain in my neck. this has happened a couple of times before, but in both cases, one night of sleep cured what ailed me. not so this time.

i woke up monday still hurting. and then just to make things a little more interesting, i got lost on my way to work.

my attempt to find cheap gas meant that i would be taking a route different than my normal one to work. normally, this would not have presented a problem, since i have my trusty gps. which...completely...failed...me. it simply turned itself off, and would not turn back on.

if i've never mentioned before how directionally impaired i am, let me mention it now. short of obvious landmarks, i have no idea to which compass point i'm heading. one would think it fairly obvious that the ocean is west. but not in huntington beach. here, the ocean is south. i still can't quite wrap my head around that one, but it probably wouldn't have mattered anyway.

ultimately the problem was that not knowing the name of the road i was looking for, i thought i was on it. instead, i was on a road running perpendicular, and thereby, in the WRONG direction. and of course, i managed to second-guess myself several times resulting in course corrections that, had i not taken, would have led me to familiar roads.

need a visual? i'm here to oblige.

the route identified in red is a near proximation of the route i would normally take to work. the one in blue, the route i took on monday morning. behold:



so there you have it, visual proof of my impairment.

monday was a lost cause, and tuesday wasn't much better. i woke up yet AGAIN with severe neck pain. but that wasn't the worst of it. the worst was that i knew it was the day we would be laying off people. four from my office, including one from my team.

as her manager, i had been told beforehand that i would be losing lezlie, and though i knew ultimately this career path wasn't one she wanted to pursue, i was still the cause of some emotional turmoil for me. i won't go into too much detail, but i will say that i was impressed with her handling of the situation. as alison and i spoke with her following the 'official' meeting with my boss and hr, there were tears (on all sides), but she expressed that it was only because she would miss us that she was sad. and the truth is that that's what makes me sad too.

in a completely unexpected turn of events, while saying farewells, talk sprung up about going to lunch together. so an hour later, we met three of our four fallen co-workers at wahoo's fish tacos for a farewell lunch. the turnout was high, and the way the seating worked out, lezlie, alison, holly and i had a table to ourselves. it couldn't have worked out better if we'd planned it:) it was a perfect way to say goodbye.

professionally, i believe this was a good thing for lezlie. she has other goals to pursue and dreams to realize, and i think (hope) that this is just the right kick-start. personally though, i will miss having her in the office. she has an energy and a light about her that is rarely found, and i will miss having access to both her silliness and her genuine kindness.

i think (hope) that our friendship will continue to grow, and not having to walk the line between friend and boss should certainly make it easier for that to happen!

having made it through the rough day, today simply had to be better. and it was. for the most part.

but, i finally decided that i needed some professional help.

for my NECK, people! geesh!

though i've never in my life been to a chiropractor, today was most definitely the day to start. three nights of sleeplessness was about all i was willing to bear, so with recommendations from co-workers, i found a doctor who was also able to see me immediately.

it was a very enlightening experience. i learned that my migraines, insomnia, digestive problems, and the random numbness in my fingertips can actually be fixed. i also learned that my left shoulder is higher than my right, which would explain why purses slide right off if i try and put them on that right shoulder. apparently, it's possible that my right leg is shorter than my left leg, which is resulting in some severe misaligning action. i learned all sorts of things today.

but my neck still hurts.

to be fair, the chiropractor didn't actually touch my neck. instead, multiple scans, x-rays and measurements were taken (my favorite: "i just need to see how thick you are,") and now i wait for the results. hopefully hopefully hopefully they will address the neck situation tomorrow. i can't say i blame them for not wanting to mess with my neck before knowing what they are really dealing with. in fact, now that i think about it, i'm pretty grateful for that. and it's definitely worth one more night of sleeplessness.

the rest of the week promises to be far more boring. thank heavens.