urbanized

note to the reader:

by popular demand, the following virtual retelling will be extremely detailed, in fact, it's probably going to read like a 15 year old's diary entry, because truthfully, that's kind of how it made me feel. i find no shame and will harbor no embarrassment about reconnecting with my inner 15 year old!
 
the cast:
me - an event planner for a pet insurance company who frequently attends conferences

vicki - my co-worker and friend, a veterinary technician who was asked to attend one of our human resource conferences (normally only goes to veterinary conferences) and bring her dogs to entice attendees to visit our booth

mike - a colleague and friend

terry - an event planner for another company, whom i met a year and a half (ish) ago standing in a very unnecessarily long long for onsite show services.

reed - a co-worker of terry's

the setting:
the society for human resource management (shrm) annual conference
las vegas convention center, las vegas, nv, 105 degrees (if you're wondering)

the background:

-with nearly 50 events on my annual event calendar, i don't always pay attention to each conference program, so just a few days before the start of the event, i discovered that the sponsored (meaning large and recognizable companies pay for a well-known performer to entertain conference attendees in exchange for marketing opportunities) performer, was grammy award winning country superstar and all around hot aussie, keith urban. 

-vicki would not have normally attended this conference as she is strictly veterinary, but the hr channel folks requested her presence (with her dogs) at the show.  truthfully, i think her attendance was one of many pieces that fell into place in just the right way to make for a surprising night

-terry and i bonded over frustration, and have enjoyed seeing each other a few times over the last year+.   during show setup we crossed paths and swapped numbers and made plans to connect later and to connect at the 'main event'.

-this type of performance is very different from a 'regular' concert.  they are usually held in an exhibit hall, which is one level of concrete floor.  there are no stadium seats, and the seats available are first-come-first-serve. it is also much more intimate, since a performer like keith urban regularly sells out entire stadiums, and the exhibit halls hold far fewer people.  in this case, an estimated 5,000 people attended, which, for a keith urban concert, is 'intimate'

-also in attendance at the event were two co-workers and a spouse, and my sister's boss and co-worker from virginia

the story:

vicki, mike and i arranged to meet at the show at 6:45.  since the show was scheduled to start at 8pm, i figured we would have decent seats and enjoy a nice evening.  

since i had the wristbands required for entry, i first met mike, and we found and saved seats, before i headed back outside to meet vicki and bring her in.  it had been my intention to save a few seats for terry and his co-workers, just in case, as we had tossed around the idea of meeting up.

mike, me, and vicki

when i returned with vicki, the entire row (other than our seats + 1) had been 'saved' by someone else, and shortly thereafter, terry texted me to see what/where we were.  i told him we had an extra seat, but that i understood if he wanted to stay with his group.  he decided to do so, but shortly after his arrival at the center, he texted again to tell me to come meet him at the stage.

our seats were in the front of the second section, and since the concert hadn't yet started, when i scanned the stage, i saw him easily.   i told vicki and mike i'd be right back after saying hello, and when i got up to the stage, i asked if he planned on staying there.  he said he absolutely was, but since the seating was open, i suspected he (we) might not be allowed, since it clearly obstructed the view of those sitting in the front rows -- but he said that he had confirmed with the contact at one of the main sponsors that it would be alright.  so, of course, i decided to stay with him.

i just kept thinking that i wouldn't be able to afford tickets like that at a 'real' concert, and even if i could, how early would i have to be standing in a ticket line before the show sold out,  and i couldn't pass up the opportunity to be that close.  i texted vicki and told her to join me, and texted mike to ask him if he minded staying with the seats and the bags for a bit.  this may sound lame but mike is not a big country fan, and truthfully, i just knew he wouldn't care.  

while vicki was making her way to the front, we were joined by terry's co-workers, one of whom was reid.  he had to ignore a few comments while making his way up to join us, as he is probably 6'3" and nobody likes a tall guy in front of them.  but as it would turn out, i think his height was a huge factor in the evening's events. 

and as we waited for the show to start, i told reed the story of hanging out with jason aldean and his band many years ago, and was fully confident that that would be the coolest band encounter story that i would ever have to tell.  wow, was i wrong!

the show started and keith instantly had the audience rapt.  his stage presence was incredible as was his ability to entertain.  he performed three or four favorites from center stage (we were stage left) before moving to a microphone at stage right to perform another.  at that point, we knew that he would find his way over to our side of the stage eventually, and we were all anticipating it eagerly!

an example of his engagement with the audience--he left the stage at one point, traveling around the room, before landing on a platform in the middle of the giant hall, where he proceeded to sing a couple of songs so that the people at the back of the room could actually SEE him.  in that moment, i fell a little in love with him:)

there were a couple of other great moments before it got really exciting for me, including an on-stage stumble that he made light of, via song (happens at about 1:05 in the clip):

finally, it was our turn. he had started the song 'kiss a girl' and during a musical interlude in the song, he made his way to our side of the stage.  we were all excited to be within a couple feet of him and i was very focused on getting some good photos.  so focused, in fact, that i was completely oblivious to what was about to happen until out of the corner of my eye, i realized that terry and reed were pointing emphatically at me.

there was a brief flicker of understanding, followed by a brief flickr of panic, and i quite literally tried to melt into reed and become invisible.  my long time friends and blog readers know how terrified i am of being in front of people, and while i know how crazy this sounds, in that split second, if there had been enough room for me to run, i would have done it and not looked back.  but instead, reed gave me a gentle push, and suddenly, keith urban was holding my hand and walking me around the barricade to the security guard, who then escorted me onto the stage.

he told me to go to center stage and wait for  a minute, and when i got there, i made the mistake of looking up and seeing the, literally, thousands of people looking at me!  i also had NO IDEA what i was going to be doing up there, and truthfully, if i had known, i probably would have taken a stage dive then to get out of it, but it all happened so fast, i was saved from myself.

the next thing i knew, keith had chosen a guy from the center section and a girl from the right, and the microphone was in front of my mouth and he was asking me what my name was and where i was from.

i do not know what happened in that moment.  i was possessed or something because i YELLED "im tara from huntington beach, california!'  and the crowd went wild.

you know how people say that? 'the crowd went wild'? and it's usually tongue in cheek?  well, the crowd literally went wild.  i don't know if they all just really like california or what, but they were clapping and cheering and hooting and i understood why rock stars like being rock stars!

keith then asked the same questions of the guy and other girl, and the crowd was... supportive.  i still don't know why they reacted to me the way i did, but even in that moment, i knew i was the crowd favorite.  of course, what i didn't know is that that would dictate the rest of my onstage experience.

i still didn't know what we were going to be asked to do, but i suspected there would be some sort of keith urban trivia game going on, and i knew without a shadow of a doubt that i would completely blow it.  the pressure was just too high.

and while i began to dread what was to come, all of the sudden, there was a microphone in my hand and keith said 'it's really easy, just sing the chorus.' and the music to 'kiss a girl' started back up and i didn't even take a breath before belting out:

I wanna kiss a girl
I wanna hold her tight
And maybe make a little magic in the moonlight

(so far so good)

Don't wanna go to far
Just to take it slow

(oops, a memory lapse, but fortunately keith was on the ground next to me mouthing the lyrics)

But I shouldn't be lonely in this big ol' world
I wanna kiss a girl!

and the crowd went ballISTIC! now keep in mind, i was not focusing on vocal quality or vibrato or anything, really.  something just clicked in my mind when i started singing and a little voice said 'go big or go home - if you're gonna fail, fail spectacularly.'

so i was truly, legitimately surprised, when the audience reacted the way they did.

keith moved on to the guy and the other girl, and again, i could tell that the response was not as strong.  but i didn't see what was coming, which was that he asked the audience to pick the  best performance.

now despite the fact that the audience SEEMED to have thought i did the best job, just about every insecurity i have (and some i don't have) ran through my head.  the guy was cute, the girl cuter, and i was pretty sure i didn't have a shot at 'winning'.  i was preparing myself for the ego blow, when he put his hand over my head and the audience erupted.  he did the same with the other two, and again the response was supportive but not as frenzied.  i knew i had taken it, and couldn't believe that the girl who was taller than and weighs more than the country superstar had somehow won over the audience.

he came back over to me, put his arm around me and announced that there was a clear winner.  the crowd cheered and clapped.  at some point in this quickly passing moment, (maybe he also gave me a hug??) i whispered 'nothing like stage fright, right?' and he responded, saying 'you did awesome (how do you spell that with an australian accent?), you can SING!'  and i basked. had the experience stopped there, it would still be the coolest experience of my life.  but it didn't.

i know it's blurry, but it's also proof :)

of course, it took me a second to realize it...in fact i actually started walking off the stage, and he grabbed my shirt and said 'stay here'.  so i stayed while he took the girl over to the guitar player and the guy over to the bass player and grabbed me and took me up to the center stage mic, and the two of us began singing the rest of the song.

even in the retelling, i can't help but wonder if it was all a dream.  i kept trying not to crowd him since we were sharing the same mic, so he kept moving it closer to me until i finally just accepted the insane fact that i was going to be four inches from his face for the rest of the song.

the audience was so supportive and so into it, and i found my friends who, really, i owe the whole experience to, and gave them a 'can you believe this???' look, which turned out to be photo documented.

i also thought about the couple of co-workers i knew were in the audience (who i later found out had gotten their whole section chanting my name), as well as my sister's boss and co-worker from virginia, and just how cool it was that there were people there who would tell the story.  as excited as i am to tell it, it is also pretty cool knowing that other people are telling it.  does that make sense? does it seem vain?  trust me, it's not vanity, but pure gratitude.

i have had a life FULL of amazing experiences.  and every single time, i wonder why.  why i am so lucky.  i'm no more special than in the ways that we are all special and unique, and i have no idea why a guy (reed) who i had literally met a couple hours before would make such an effort to put ME in a spotlight, or why keith urban decided to take him up on his suggestion, or why an audience of 5,000 people decided that they liked me...and while i still find myself pretty mindblown by the why's, i am immensely grateful and unbelievably humbled.

towards the end of the song, keith interrupted himself to say/sing "maybe you wanna kiss a man, but i don't want to kiss a man', and during the last chorus, he changed the last line to 'i wanna kiss a man' for my benefit:)  as we finished, he gave me a warm and surprisingly genuine hug and whispered ' you were so great.' and i told him how amazing an experience it had been and thanked him before making my way off stage.

and what was probably a 6 or 7 minute experience? came to an end.  or, almost, anyway.  i was surprised at the reaction i got when i returned to the crowd and my friends.  people were touching my arms and grabbing my hands, and telling me how awesome i was.  and when i got back to my group, reed gave me a big hug and said 'i didn't know you could actually sing.'  yeah? me neither.  at least, not like that.

yes, i've sung in choirs and small groups and i know that i have a decent voice, but you cannot prepare for something like that--it is so completely different from anything any normal person like me would ever experience in my life. and i was sooo not trying to sing WELL, i was just trying to 'fail spectacularly'.

keith ended up playing for just over two hours, and even that endeared me to him.  as i understand it, that's about the length of his regular concert, and i felt certain since it was a relatively small group for him and a different kind of group, and because sheryl crow (a couple years before) had performed a short set, that  he might be on stage for an hour-ish.  but boy did he give us a show. and me in particular!

when the show ended, it took us about an hour to get out because people kept stopping me.  my co-workers found me and were as stunned and excited as i was, and every few feet someone would recognize me and tell me how good i was and how lucky, and the look on some of their faces was pure awe.  again i thought i could understand the appeal of superstardom, just a little:)

the experience was such a whirlwind, i didn't have much time to think, just react.  i know there are things i've forgotten because they were so quick (ie were there two hugs or just one?) so i'm grateful that there were so many people taking photos (since i had none of my own), and that my colleague mike, ended up taking video of the entire thing (which i'm still waiting on). i've talked to my contact at the show, who emailed me to tell me that it 'couldnt have happened to a better person.', about getting a copy of whatever footage they have as well, and my only complaint is that they were all from the wrong angle, so of course, my chin and arms are terrible in all of them;)  oh, and by the way, you know how they say you should always wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident?  my new motto is 'always wear black in case keith urban pulls you on stage.' after all, black is far more forgiving and flattering...and SLIMMING!

as you might imagine, i'm still 'high' from the experience and i expect to be for awhile.  if you're in the car with me anytime in the near future, you'll be listening to keith urban.  and if you call me, your ringtone will be 'kiss a girl'.

there are many many many photos of the experience, some of them mine, some of them from friends and strangers, but all the ones in my possession are located HERE.  when i have the video(s) i'll try and post, but i understand at least one of them is a huge file:)

lastly, i'll say one more time how grateful i am.  every once in a while i get discouraged because my life is so far from what i thought it would be and wanted it to be at this stage in my life, but i also know and recognize often, just how blessed i am, that while i'm waiting for those dreams to come true, i get to have unbelievable experiences like this.

i. sang. with a grammy winner. on stage. in front of thousands of people.

so, so, sooo blessed!

the fam damily

back on schedule...sort of.  i arrived in virginia in the early evening and dad picked me up from the rental car place.  on our way home, we made a little detour and stopped at kendyl's daycare, which also happens to be a tae kwan do studio.

needless to say, i had been aching to hold this little girl in my arms again, and when she saw me she yelled my name and jumped into them.  i know one day, maybe when she's 12 or 13 or 14, it won't seem as exciting to have aunt tara come for a visit, so i relish every moment of that excitement and happiness.

we said our temporary goodbyes and headed home.  i hopped in the shower, and then it was time for dinner. the bonus for the evening was that not only would my sister and kendyl be coming over, but my cousin jamie recently moved to the area, so dinner, and the rest of the evening, was just one hilarity after the next.

kendyl has always been a good 'poser',  but she decided that she wanted to be behind the camera this time and just kept snapping away.  turns out, she has a pretty good eye! to check out the complete series, click here.

eventually it was time to call it a night.  i'm always sad to have to say goodbye to kendyl, especially since i won't get to see her again until christmas, but i was grateful to have even a little bit of time with her and the rest of the fam.

the beauty of unplanned plans

the beauty of the unexpected is that the possibility exists for wonderful things to happen.

on wednesday, before i knew that three days later i would be in south carolina, a random itunes clean out made me think of some extended cousins i hadn't seen in over a decade.  we had spent a couple of summer vacations with them in thousand islands, ny at their idyllic cottages on the idyllic island where cars were quickly traded in for bicycles and golf carts and afternoons at the ice cream parlor, picnics on the beach, and sunset boat rides.  you can perhaps imagine why this particular group of people make me think warm happy thoughts.

it all started when i came across a band that, long ago, my second cousin (i had to look that up) jamin, and i had both shared a love for. so i did what anybody would do;  i headed to facebook to see if i could turn up anything. pretty quickly i was able to find jamin and his mother judy (my first cousin once removed).  i added them as friends, thinking i would silently cyber-stalk them to begin the reacquainting process, and was reminded that judy had left new york and was now running a bed and breakfast in south carolina.  my internal dialogue, quite literally, went like this:

"one day, i'm going to have to go check that out!"

i could not have possibly foreseen that in just twelve hours, i would be making travel arrangements that would allow me to do just that!

i sent off an email on thursday and waited to hear. and when sunday morning came without a response, i simply assumed that there were other commitments, being so last minute and all. until i checked my email, and learned that she had been simply trying to coordinate the arrivals of my second cousin, gretchen, and my great aunt, who had flown in the night before for their annual vacation. score!

my two hour drive to charleston was mildly eventful. see...i got pulled over. for going twenty miles an hour over the limit. doh!  guess my california lead foot got the best of me.

BUT, he gave me a warning.  a WARNING!  i truly don't even know why. i was pretty resigned to my fate, and simply told him that i was sorry, and i obviously hadn't been paying attention.  and after he ran my license and car rental agreement, he came back to the car saying 'twenty miles an hour. twenty miles. i NEVER do this, but this is a warning. SLOW DOWN,' shaking his head the whole time.  i'm not sure which of us was more surprised, but not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, i thanked him profusely and got the heck out of dodge before he could change his mind!

the rest of the two hour drive to charleston passed smoothly at nine miles over the speed limit. i have never been to charleston before (i still can't quite believe it, and it kind of hurts to say) and the drive in was full of oohs and awes, and aaahhs. and when i pulled up to lavender and lace, i discovered that  it was everything you want a charleston b&b to be:  a delightfully old antebellum house with wrap-around porches on multiple levels that make you want to drink mint juleps and sit on porch swings. it was absolutely lovely! as was my reunion.

i still, in hindsight, cannot believe my good fortune.  i have expressed on many occasions how grateful i have been that my family is  so amazing, and that feeling extends beyond far beyond the first branch of the tree.  to be able to reconnect with my cousins and great-aunt was such a blessing!

after catching up on the last fifteen years, it was time for me to head out

i couldn't leave without making a couple of stops at the national park sites in the area, so the first on the list was fort sumter.  fort sumter is most notable for being the place at which the first shots of the civil war were fired.

due to time, i wasn't able to take the boat over to the fort, but i enjoyed the displays and the information at the visitor's center.

from there, it was on to fort moultrie, which is fascinating for other reasons.  

it was built in 1776, and is unique for having been built with palmetto logs. because the palmettos are softer than woods normally used, the walls would absorb the shock of the cannons without exploding, and it is even said that cannon balls would BOUNCE off the walls. uh-mazing!

and with seven new stamps in the parks passport, it was time to keep on keeping on.  afterall, i had a date with some very special people!

my stop for the night was in raleigh, nc with colby and julie. and while cost was a factor in opting to drive, rather than fly to va, colby and julie were the primary motivator.

i would have liked much much more time with them, but since just three days before, there was no inkling of a possibility that i would be sitting in their kitchen laughing, and learning of the death of osama bin laden together, it was all icing.

the unexpected

the thing about being a planner, by nature, and by profession, is that things are planned.  the unexpected always exists, but you plan for that too.

last month our parent company (who 'is on your side') asked us to be involved in an event they were participating in.  i was originally scheduled to attend, but it was then determined that it wouldn't make economic sense for me to do so, since the event was on the east coast and i, am on the west.  they did not know that i was already planning on heading east for another event only a couple of days later, but no matter, we would send one of our reps living in closer geographic proximity.

unfortunately, though, the reps father passed away, and with less than twenty four hours notice, i was making travel arrangements to leave for hilton head, sc.  the arrangements were a bit crazy. one hotel one night, a different the next night.  and because of the last minute nature and its associated costs, i opted to drive from hilton head to virginia where i would be spending a day with my fam before a drop off in maryland for the next event.

and the trip in was equally as wild.   after taking off forty-five minutes late from dallas, we were informed that there had been a mechanical issue and we would have to land back at dfw.  the catch was that the fuel tank was too full to land, so we'd have to fly around for 'awhile'.

every fifteen or so minutes, the pilot would come on and tell us that we would be landing in 15-20 minutes. that meant electronics off and no getting up from the seats.  and i believed him the first time.  and the second time.  but by the third and fourth time, i had had it.  instead of making the two hour flight to savannah, we flew in circles for an hour and a half.

now, i'm pretty patient about travel glitches, but this one was so far off the 'logic radar' that i was as close as i've ever been to truly losing it. when we landed in savannah, it took nearly thirty minutes for someone to come out and bring our plane into the gate.  then thirty minutes for the bags. then the hour drive to the hotel. and by the time i got to the hotel, it was 3am.  3 hours later the alarm was going off, and i was heading out to the event.

fortunately, things started looking up from there. i got to the event with no obstacles, and since it was quite literally on the beach, i was instantly relaxed and happy.  everything went smoothly, and i was really pleased with the exposure we got. the organization was so thrilled to have us there, and they all had such a good energy about them that it was truly a pleasure to be there.  and of course, it didn't hurt that i got to pet dogs all morning!

after the event i headed to my new hotel, the hilton head marriott resort & spa (yes, it was as good as it sounds) and slept for several hours.  when i woke up in the early evening, i decided that i needed to go enjoy the beach, so i headed out to do some exploring.  since the only thing between the hotel and the beach was the pool, i didn't expect to make a rest stop, but just behind the pool was a copse of carolina grass and several hammocks.

i just couldn't resist, so i crawled onto one and did some reading while lenjoying the sounds and smells of the ocean..

there is just something different about carolina beaches.   from a purely aesthetic perspective, california beaches are far superior, but  i truly think the overall EXPERIENCE of a carolina beach wins out hands down.  it feels more relaxed, and less like a social 'scene', and there are hammocks, and you can swim in a swimsuit in april, and don't need a wet suit in august!

after i'd sufficiently 'rested', i headed thirty yards east, where i was reminded again how wonderfully warm the atlantic ocean is!  i was nearly knee deep before i remembered that i was wearing a skirt.  and i spent the next hour enjoying the warm water and the sunset, before calling it a night.

marriage

i'm not awol, just can't keep track of where i'm at or in what time zone.  while i continue to question that, i wanted to pause for a moment and share.  if you had the opportunity and interest to watch the royal wedding, it may sound familiar, if not, it's an absolute must read.

i watched the wedding by accident, and for a few reasons ended up being glad i had done so, this speech by the bishop of london being the greatest among them.  it is a wonderful explanation of and tribute to marriage.

Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” So said St Catherine of Siena whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves.

Many are full of fear for the future of the prospects of our world but the message of the celebrations in this country and far beyond its shores is the right one – this is a joyful day! It is good that people in every continent are able to share in these celebrations because this is, as every wedding day should be, a day of hope.  

In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future.

William and Catherine, you have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ.

And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each another.

A spiritual life grows as love finds its centre beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this; the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed. In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life.

It is of course very hard to wean ourselves away from self-centredness. And people can dream of doing such a thing but the hope should be fulfilled it is necessary a solemn decision that, whatever the difficulties, we are committed to the way of generous love.

You have both made your decision today – “I will” – and by making this new relationship, you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving, and which will lead to a creative future for the human race.

We stand looking forward to a century which is full of promise and full of peril. Human beings are confronting the question of how to use wisely a power that has been given to us through the discoveries of the last century. We shall not be converted to the promise of the future by more knowledge, but rather by an increase of loving wisdom and reverence, for life, for the earth and for one another.

Marriage should transform, as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform as long as we do not harbour ambitions to reform our partner. There must be no coercion if the Spirit is to flow; each must give the other space and freedom. Chaucer, the London poet, sums it up in a pithy phrase:

“Whan maistrie [mastery] comth, the God of Love anon,

Beteth his wynges, and farewell, he is gon.”

As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive, we need mutual forgiveness, to thrive.

As we move towards our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light. This leads to a family life which offers the best conditions in which the next generation can practise and exchange those gifts which can overcome fear and division and incubate the coming world of the Spirit, whose fruits are love and joy and peace.

I pray that all of us present and the many millions watching this ceremony and sharing in your joy today, will do everything in our power to support and uphold you in your new life. And I pray that God will bless you in the way of life that you have chosen, that way which is expressed in the prayer that you have composed together in preparation for this day:

God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.

Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.