sunday, snowy sunday

with church cancelled today due to weather, i've had the entire day to do nothing, and now i'm tired of doing nothing, so i will tell you how last night went.

last night was the stake enrichment meeting i had been asked to teach at. the topic assigned to me was stress management, and given that nothing creates more stress in my life than teaching, the irony was thick.

i don't think i let on previously how much this particular assignment had panicked me, teaching gospel doctrine to my peers is bad enough, but in this case, i was to be teaching women who have known me since i was 3 years old. many of them have served as my young women's leaders over the years, and many have been women i aspire to be like. it is a terrifying experience to teach someone who taught you when you were 14.

there were to be three classes taking place simultaneously, and three different 'sessions'. thankfully, my slot was in the first session. expected attendance for each class was between 20 and 40. and yet, as the ladies of the stake entered the relief society room, they just kept coming. and coming. and coming. by the time i started the class, there were over 100 women and it was standing room only.

i knew some of them were there because of their prior relationships with me. i also knew some of them were there because they knew my parents, and were 'curious.' my dad has a widespread, and well deserved reputation of being an excellent speaker. more than one person made it clear that they were attending the class to see how far the 'apple had fallen from the tree.' in addition, two of the three members of the stake relief society presidency had chosen to sit in on my class, as had a variety of other stake leadership.

no pressure, right?

and yet, it was one of the most positive teaching experiences i have had. in all humility, the best way for me to put it is that i nailed it. i mean totally nailed it. from the first minute, i had them. they wanted to be there. they wanted to participate. when i asked a question, there were no pauses waiting for a raised hand. the answers were poignant and insightful. and most gratifying of all--something that has never happened before--the majority of them were scribbling notes fast and furiously.

they felt that i had something to teach them. most of the women in the room were married, and most have children. yet, they really thought that the single girl had something to teach them. they weren't humoring me, or looking at me with pity or wonder thinking i must be too picky (as so often happens), they were simply soaking up the information i was providing them.

one of the reasons i accepted this assignment, despite my great aversion to public speaking, is that so often, when single members of the church are asked to speak at a large gathering, the topic almost always involves being single. fitting in in a family oriented culture, living a fulfilling life as a single, etc., etc. the truth is, i was honored to be asked to speak about something that had absolutely no relation to my marital status. part of me felt that if i turned down the assignment, i might blow that for the other singles. i know it's a ridiculous thing to have taken sole responsibility for, but we can't always explain our thought processes.

i have been doing some digging and trying to figure out how i got on the radar for this, with no luck. all of the possible culprits have denied any involvement, and they are the types to have taken proud credit for it, if they had in fact played a part. i keep a low profile in the stake--or thought i did. i go to church, i fulfill my calling. do i know stake leadership? sure. but i don't interact with them on a regular basis. i am clueless how my name came up.

when i originally blogged about this assignment, someone commented that the best way to avoid a repeat assignment was to do a poor job. i responded that it was not in my nature to do so purposefully, which did not mean that that wouldn't happen naturally. i'm afraid though, that i may have shone a spotlight on myself and said 'look at me, look at me,' without intending to do so.

at the conclusion of the class, i was literally mobbed. some people wanted my notes, some wanted to thank me, and some wanted to compliment and praise. the poor teacher teaching after me ended up getting a late start because i could not get out of the room.

there was one woman in particular who has been a pseudo-hero of mine, she is the best speaker/teacher i have ever heard. when she walked in the class, i told her to get out. she laughed and said that i was the only reason she was coming and there was no way she was leaving.

if there is one woman who has a particular power to intimidate me, it would be her. not because she isn't warm and wonderful, but because she is so excellent. i worried i would be distracted by feeling that i could not measure up. so when she approached me after the class, it was her feedback and praise that was the most meaningful.

i think it's clear that i felt good about the experience, and i think i've also made it clear in the past how rare that is. now i just have to try and fall off the radar again.