shameless plug

thank you for your thoughts, comments, suppositions, emails, phone calls, and texts. if i haven't responded directly, please don't take it personally. i don't really want to talk all that much right now, but those messages do wonders. i am feelin' the love, so i thought it would be appropriate to step away from my wallowing for a moment (don't worry, i'll be hurrying back), to share a little love of my own.

since arriving in california, i have reconnected with several old high school friends, two of which, in particular, i've spent a good amount of time with thus far. i continue to find it incredible that two people from 13 years in my past, have come to play such a prominent role in my present. i believe that people are placed in our lives at different times for different reasons, and i have come to feel strongly that brandon and michelle were placed in my life then, because they would play such an important role now.

initially, i had planned to spend the thanksgiving holiday with them, and some other friends of theirs. my family (the ones i am currently living with) were all in idaho for the holiday, but i wanted to stick close in case of job stuff popping up (they were gone for over a week). but with things working out the way they did, i called him on wednesday to let him know that i was bailing.

of course, he instantly picked up on the fact that i was sobbing, and had the whole story out of me before too long. his response was 'what do you need?'

what i needed, was to not be alone, but i told him that i was going to call my friend up in sb, and see if i couldn't find a place on the couch there. sb is farther, but frankly i had no intention of adding to brandon's troubles. you may remember that i recently mentioned he had been diagnosed with cancer, and i didn't want to cause any more drama in his life.

i called my friend in sb, who simply did not know what to say. it is very difficult for me to ask for help (contrary to what my recent blog posts may have led you to believe), and i couldn't quite find the courage to ask if i could come sleep on his couch. i needed for him to ask me what i needed, or if there was anything he could do. but he never did.

it took me about 45 minutes, but i finally got the courage up to ask and called him again. he didn't answer. he didn't call me back. in fact, i have not heard from him since that night. needless to say, i have reevaluated our 'friendship'.

to say that i was distraught, would be a gross understatement. everything was a blur, i couldn't think straight. the only thing i could be certain of that day, was that i could not spend the night alone. but i didn't know what to do. the one person i sort of felt comfortable asking for help, had completely and totally failed me.

within a half-hour of the second call attempt, i received a text message from brandon. it said 'you sure you don't want to stay with us tonight? michelle can get ice cream. we love you, and we'd love to have you.'

i knew, without a doubt in that moment, there was nothing they would not have done for me. these two people, over a decade from my past, would have done anything i could have possibly needed or asked. isn't that incredible?

i was on the road with my overnight bag 15 minutes later.

i arrived to find that michelle had picked up my favorite ice cream (which was the only food i would eat for the next four days), and firefly was in the dvd player ready to go. after a lot of crying on my part, and a couple of great episodes, we called it a night, and i curled up on the couch with sweet sammy the cat.

needless to say, i will never forget what those two did for me. any service i can render them will fall short, in my mind, of the service i received.

the diagnosis update on brandon is that he has germ cell cancer, with a good prognosis. he starts chemotherapy on monday and will undergo a 12 week cycle. there is a 70% chance of complete remission, and he is doing everything in his power to keep those odds high.

[insert shameless plug] as it so happens, brandon is a singer/songwriter..in fact, one of the most talented people i have ever known. he has just released a christmas single called winter in the sun and it is available on itunes. download it now!

i love it, but maybe that's because it's about christmas in california;) or maybe i'm a little biased. at the very least, check it out and decide for yourself.

alright, back to wallowing i go!