she just sent the link to the apartment she has chosen. looks pretty nice!
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
italy will have to wait...
looks like it's paris in may. and by paris, i mean paris, versailles, and amsterdam(again). many of you know that when i travel with deb, she pays for the accommodations. it is a great blessing, and one of the only reasons i am able to travel as often as i do, and in the way that i do. and, well, deb wants to go to paris.
she just sent the link to the apartment she has chosen. looks pretty nice!
she just sent the link to the apartment she has chosen. looks pretty nice!
tamara, this is for you
some time ago i blogged but did not post. at the time i felt that the message was a little too pointed and a little too passive aggressive, so i refrained from sharing it with the world.
i post it now, only because tamara, one of my favorite pseudo-strangers, seems to have a similar frustration, not because it is relevant at the moment...
as far back in my dating career (yes, i have unwittingly made a career out of it), men have been telling me (or implying) that i lack patience. i can't tell you how many times i have been in relationships where i have bent over backwards accommodating the timeline of the other person, thinking 'i just need to be more patient.'
but, when it was implied to me again this week, it absolutely hit a nerve. why is it always me that has to do the accommodating? why is it continually implied that it is MY timeline that is wrong? i think i've fallen victim to a superior marketing scam perpetrated on women.
when i'm told that i am impatient, the other person is typically in a position where they are simply not ready to move forward. it may be fear, lack of faith, lack of commitment, the inability to hope, or their uncertainty that i'm worth the risk, that prevents them from moving to the next step--whatever that is. i don't really know, but every one of those things is a far greater travesty to me, then my desire to proceed.
every time a man has told me i'm impatient, it has been to justify the fact that he wasn't 'ready.' (apparently men really have to psych themselves up to date me, but that's beside the point.) and every time, i have thought, i'll just give him time to work out his stuff, and then life will be hunky dory. well, i'm finally realizing that when a man drags his feet, not only is it not my responsibility to wait him out (or worse-push/drag him), but it's probably not in either of our best interests.
deep down, i believe that when someone is interested in you, they make it painfully clear in both words AND actions. those actions do not include overwhelming hesitation, or hemming and hawing. when that hesitation exists, despite contradictory words having been spoken, i am coming to believe that it is because men are enamored of the 'possibility' of a relationship, yet unwilling to take the risk the reality of that relationship might bring.
that's pretty much when i start hearing the 'patience' bit.
i have always been someone who knows what i want. where is the fault in that? i'm to feel guilty about my willingness to take risks and make progress? i've been hurt too. i have issues too. have i made mistakes? of course. have i put too much trust in people? absolutely. yet, you don't see that paralyzing me.
i guess the moral of this story is that i'm learning. i'm learning that it's not always my fault (though it's too bad i'm learning this so late), and i'm learning to get out while i still can.
i post it now, only because tamara, one of my favorite pseudo-strangers, seems to have a similar frustration, not because it is relevant at the moment...
as far back in my dating career (yes, i have unwittingly made a career out of it), men have been telling me (or implying) that i lack patience. i can't tell you how many times i have been in relationships where i have bent over backwards accommodating the timeline of the other person, thinking 'i just need to be more patient.'
but, when it was implied to me again this week, it absolutely hit a nerve. why is it always me that has to do the accommodating? why is it continually implied that it is MY timeline that is wrong? i think i've fallen victim to a superior marketing scam perpetrated on women.
when i'm told that i am impatient, the other person is typically in a position where they are simply not ready to move forward. it may be fear, lack of faith, lack of commitment, the inability to hope, or their uncertainty that i'm worth the risk, that prevents them from moving to the next step--whatever that is. i don't really know, but every one of those things is a far greater travesty to me, then my desire to proceed.
every time a man has told me i'm impatient, it has been to justify the fact that he wasn't 'ready.' (apparently men really have to psych themselves up to date me, but that's beside the point.) and every time, i have thought, i'll just give him time to work out his stuff, and then life will be hunky dory. well, i'm finally realizing that when a man drags his feet, not only is it not my responsibility to wait him out (or worse-push/drag him), but it's probably not in either of our best interests.
deep down, i believe that when someone is interested in you, they make it painfully clear in both words AND actions. those actions do not include overwhelming hesitation, or hemming and hawing. when that hesitation exists, despite contradictory words having been spoken, i am coming to believe that it is because men are enamored of the 'possibility' of a relationship, yet unwilling to take the risk the reality of that relationship might bring.
that's pretty much when i start hearing the 'patience' bit.
i have always been someone who knows what i want. where is the fault in that? i'm to feel guilty about my willingness to take risks and make progress? i've been hurt too. i have issues too. have i made mistakes? of course. have i put too much trust in people? absolutely. yet, you don't see that paralyzing me.
i guess the moral of this story is that i'm learning. i'm learning that it's not always my fault (though it's too bad i'm learning this so late), and i'm learning to get out while i still can.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
in other news...
1. this upcoming trip is getting better and better. looks like deb will be coming out for a long-weekend of skiing during the utah portion, and will be staying with me at my cute cousin's place. seriously, so many of my favorite people in one place, i almost can't stand it!
2. anne and i went to see amazing grace last night. there haven't been many television promos, as far as i can tell, but i've seen enough movies lately that the trailer peaked my interest. i am happy to report that i really really enjoyed it. i've seen crappy movies (because i said so) and mediocre movies (breach) lately, so it was a nice treat. it is the story of william wilberforce and his successful effort to abolish slavery in england in the early 1800's. maybe i'm just a sucker for a feel good story, or a british accent, but it was a well spent $9.75. in fact, i probably would have paid that just to listen to the bagpipe version of the song that played just before the credits.
my only irritation is not having known the story prior to my london trip. knowing he was buried in westminster abbey would have made the organ recital there just that much more meaningful...
2. anne and i went to see amazing grace last night. there haven't been many television promos, as far as i can tell, but i've seen enough movies lately that the trailer peaked my interest. i am happy to report that i really really enjoyed it. i've seen crappy movies (because i said so) and mediocre movies (breach) lately, so it was a nice treat. it is the story of william wilberforce and his successful effort to abolish slavery in england in the early 1800's. maybe i'm just a sucker for a feel good story, or a british accent, but it was a well spent $9.75. in fact, i probably would have paid that just to listen to the bagpipe version of the song that played just before the credits.
my only irritation is not having known the story prior to my london trip. knowing he was buried in westminster abbey would have made the organ recital there just that much more meaningful...
Monday, March 05, 2007
another kendyl video
my videos are getting too large to host on youtube, so i am hoping this alternative works.
this may be my favorite video thus far, but i had to do some tweaking, as i mistakenly took the video with the camera turned in the wrong direction.
here's a tip for those who have made the same mistake..there is a program called transform movie that allows you to rotate and resize video. it's a free trial for 11 days, and a donation of your choice after the trial period. i wish i had known about this before!
this may be my favorite video thus far, but i had to do some tweaking, as i mistakenly took the video with the camera turned in the wrong direction.
here's a tip for those who have made the same mistake..there is a program called transform movie that allows you to rotate and resize video. it's a free trial for 11 days, and a donation of your choice after the trial period. i wish i had known about this before!
hello goodbye
my 'weekend' started on friday morning. lara and i met early at ihop for a a farewell breakfast with angela, who left for orlando on saturday. it is strange to think that she won't be within a few mile radius, after having had that for so long, but, since steve works for jetblue, and jetblue is adding a direct flight from orlando to dulles, we expect to see her (hopefully) regularly. the bonus is that since my motto is 'i'll go anywhere there is a free place to stay,' i've added a city to possible destination vacations. i think disney world as an adult would be a roarin' good time.
friday afternoon, i left work early for a homecoming. steph was back in town from montana, so a group of us met at cpk for dinner. as always, there were plenty of laughs.
it was an interesting evening, in that it is the largest social gathering i have been in in some time. perhaps its the natural evolution of aging, but for months now, the idea of the 'party scene' has been completely abhorrent to me. i enjoy doing social things in small groups (under 5 people), but large groups are just not my thing anymore. i though perhaps i would find that being back in that environment, i would realize that i had missed it, but that was not the case. nstead i found myself wishing there were a lot less people, so i could interact more with the people i really cared to. i guess this social butterfly may have permanently gone back into the cocoon.
the rest of the weekend was spent preparing my lesson. there was one break for unexpected hilarity. i went out to grab lunch and gas, and as i was pulling out of the gas station, so was someone else...with the nozzle and hose still attached to their vehicle. i have never seen such a thing, and am completely befuddled as to how that driver did not know they were pulling off a 6 foot hose from a pump. but it did provide some comic relief.
this week's lesson was on miracles. the upside is that i got to teach one of my all-time favorite scriptural stories..about the woman with the 'issue of blood' who makes her way through a mob to touch the hem of christ's robe and is healed. i love what that says about the power of faith, and how it reminds me that it is an active, not passive state.
the downside is that between gospel doctrine and stake enrichment, i've taught every week for the last three. what that means is that i have spent the last three weeks pretty stressed out. i was supposed to teach again next week, since i will be gone for the two following, but i hit my wall. so i found myself a sub.
that provides a great deal of relief, but it also makes me extremely ancy for my upcoming trip. so far, i have been pretty relaxed about it, knowing that there were many 'obstacles' in the way before my departure. but, with the last major one removed, i am anxious to go NOW.
jesse is planning all kinds of fun activities for my time in california, and i can't wait to reconnect with family and friends in utah, and to celebrate with jill and corey.
11 days is too many!!
friday afternoon, i left work early for a homecoming. steph was back in town from montana, so a group of us met at cpk for dinner. as always, there were plenty of laughs.
it was an interesting evening, in that it is the largest social gathering i have been in in some time. perhaps its the natural evolution of aging, but for months now, the idea of the 'party scene' has been completely abhorrent to me. i enjoy doing social things in small groups (under 5 people), but large groups are just not my thing anymore. i though perhaps i would find that being back in that environment, i would realize that i had missed it, but that was not the case. nstead i found myself wishing there were a lot less people, so i could interact more with the people i really cared to. i guess this social butterfly may have permanently gone back into the cocoon.
the rest of the weekend was spent preparing my lesson. there was one break for unexpected hilarity. i went out to grab lunch and gas, and as i was pulling out of the gas station, so was someone else...with the nozzle and hose still attached to their vehicle. i have never seen such a thing, and am completely befuddled as to how that driver did not know they were pulling off a 6 foot hose from a pump. but it did provide some comic relief.
this week's lesson was on miracles. the upside is that i got to teach one of my all-time favorite scriptural stories..about the woman with the 'issue of blood' who makes her way through a mob to touch the hem of christ's robe and is healed. i love what that says about the power of faith, and how it reminds me that it is an active, not passive state.
the downside is that between gospel doctrine and stake enrichment, i've taught every week for the last three. what that means is that i have spent the last three weeks pretty stressed out. i was supposed to teach again next week, since i will be gone for the two following, but i hit my wall. so i found myself a sub.
that provides a great deal of relief, but it also makes me extremely ancy for my upcoming trip. so far, i have been pretty relaxed about it, knowing that there were many 'obstacles' in the way before my departure. but, with the last major one removed, i am anxious to go NOW.
jesse is planning all kinds of fun activities for my time in california, and i can't wait to reconnect with family and friends in utah, and to celebrate with jill and corey.
11 days is too many!!
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