all is well in ca, full reporting later.
in the meantime...
Monday, March 19, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
getting in shape
it's safe to say that 2007 has been a different kind of year for me.
i decided to reprioritize my social time and no longer attend parties or mass gatherings. instead, i find that my social hours are spent engaged in activities and conversations with one or two friends at a time. the result has been fewer relationships that are far more meaningful to me.
i also decided to be less selfish. it has been a growing concern of mine that the older i get still single, the less selfless i become. it is all too easy to put yourself first, all of the time, especially when you are not responsible to or for anyone else. so, though this desire to be less selfish has not resulted in grand gestures, there have been baby steps. small, subtle changes that allow me to consider the needs of others before my own.
i decided to use my calling to gain more solid spiritual footing. it's not as if i was walking through quicksand before, but through that, an effort to be more consistent with spiritual habits, and a rededication to strengthening my testimony, i have felt a peace and a faith previously unknown.
i also decided to go back to the gym. of all of the changes, this was the hardest. i am not someone who has ever loved physical exertion. i far prefer exertion of the mental type. yet, i remembered a time when i was consistently working out for about a year, and remembered how much i had come to enjoy it. not the act of sweating itself, but the stress release, the ability to sleep better, and just generally feeling better about myself.
it's been a month now. i am in the gym five to six days a week. i consider it a tender mercy that by day 2, i was already enjoying it again. and rather than having to motivate myself to go, i have been severely disappointed on those rare occasions that i have not been able to (i.e. snow days).
the reason i consider this a tender mercy is that i am someone who is motivated by the scale. digital number readouts can single-handedly result in my refraining from a second piece of cake, or deciding i don't really care that much. in a 24 hour period, my weight can fluctuate between 2-4 pounds, for no discernible reason. in a week, i can be up or down 10. i am used to some variety in those digital numbers.
and yet, for the past month, when i get on that scale in the morning, those numbers read the exact same thing. i know my scale works, because if i get on at a different time of day, it will say something different. but consistency is the key when it comes to weighing yourself, and every morning, those same numbers look up at me, taunting me.
there are many theories as to why this may be the case, and i've spoken to many people about it. i had come up with one very good theory, which has yet to be proven, but today i encountered another likely culprit. did you know that there are 3200-3500 calories in one pound?
every day, i average about 1100 calories. i burn 700 off the top on the elliptical machine, and my daily meanderings easily burn the rest and more. so technically, i should be losing pounds. ive heard the 'muscle weighs more than fat' statement, and it's not that i don't believe it, but in my case, nothing about my body has changed. my clothes aren't fitting differently, i'm not losing inches. nothing has changed.
so my friend turned me on to a pretty good website today for women and working out, and in doing some reading, i found that i should intake 1600-1800 calories a day in 3-6 meals. and i looked at the clock, and it's almost 2:30 and i have a total of 30 calories so far.
eating before 10am makes me nauseous, and by then i am at work and going. so i don't do breakfast. and it's such a hassle to go out for lunch. so i have dinner. not always, but it's pretty common.
believe me, i love food. it's not as if i wake up each morning and think, 'hey, i'm going to starve myself today, and maybe i'll lose weight.' but in effect, my body thinks that it is what i am doing to it, and it's storing everything it possibly can. it's probably made my metabolism very slow, which explains why even during those short bursts of 'normal' eating habits, there is no effect.
so i'm learning a lot about my body, and that altering it is a process that involves consistency and time and commitment. and i'm okay with that. i want to look and feel better, but i don't need a drastic change overnight for my self-esteem. and the truth is, that's a big change for me.
clearly, one of many taking place this year, and i'm sure there are many more to come!
fyi, there is also another great site i found that allows you to log food and activities, set goals, etc. it's easy and free.
i decided to reprioritize my social time and no longer attend parties or mass gatherings. instead, i find that my social hours are spent engaged in activities and conversations with one or two friends at a time. the result has been fewer relationships that are far more meaningful to me.
i also decided to be less selfish. it has been a growing concern of mine that the older i get still single, the less selfless i become. it is all too easy to put yourself first, all of the time, especially when you are not responsible to or for anyone else. so, though this desire to be less selfish has not resulted in grand gestures, there have been baby steps. small, subtle changes that allow me to consider the needs of others before my own.
i decided to use my calling to gain more solid spiritual footing. it's not as if i was walking through quicksand before, but through that, an effort to be more consistent with spiritual habits, and a rededication to strengthening my testimony, i have felt a peace and a faith previously unknown.
i also decided to go back to the gym. of all of the changes, this was the hardest. i am not someone who has ever loved physical exertion. i far prefer exertion of the mental type. yet, i remembered a time when i was consistently working out for about a year, and remembered how much i had come to enjoy it. not the act of sweating itself, but the stress release, the ability to sleep better, and just generally feeling better about myself.
it's been a month now. i am in the gym five to six days a week. i consider it a tender mercy that by day 2, i was already enjoying it again. and rather than having to motivate myself to go, i have been severely disappointed on those rare occasions that i have not been able to (i.e. snow days).
the reason i consider this a tender mercy is that i am someone who is motivated by the scale. digital number readouts can single-handedly result in my refraining from a second piece of cake, or deciding i don't really care that much. in a 24 hour period, my weight can fluctuate between 2-4 pounds, for no discernible reason. in a week, i can be up or down 10. i am used to some variety in those digital numbers.
and yet, for the past month, when i get on that scale in the morning, those numbers read the exact same thing. i know my scale works, because if i get on at a different time of day, it will say something different. but consistency is the key when it comes to weighing yourself, and every morning, those same numbers look up at me, taunting me.
there are many theories as to why this may be the case, and i've spoken to many people about it. i had come up with one very good theory, which has yet to be proven, but today i encountered another likely culprit. did you know that there are 3200-3500 calories in one pound?
every day, i average about 1100 calories. i burn 700 off the top on the elliptical machine, and my daily meanderings easily burn the rest and more. so technically, i should be losing pounds. ive heard the 'muscle weighs more than fat' statement, and it's not that i don't believe it, but in my case, nothing about my body has changed. my clothes aren't fitting differently, i'm not losing inches. nothing has changed.
so my friend turned me on to a pretty good website today for women and working out, and in doing some reading, i found that i should intake 1600-1800 calories a day in 3-6 meals. and i looked at the clock, and it's almost 2:30 and i have a total of 30 calories so far.
eating before 10am makes me nauseous, and by then i am at work and going. so i don't do breakfast. and it's such a hassle to go out for lunch. so i have dinner. not always, but it's pretty common.
believe me, i love food. it's not as if i wake up each morning and think, 'hey, i'm going to starve myself today, and maybe i'll lose weight.' but in effect, my body thinks that it is what i am doing to it, and it's storing everything it possibly can. it's probably made my metabolism very slow, which explains why even during those short bursts of 'normal' eating habits, there is no effect.
so i'm learning a lot about my body, and that altering it is a process that involves consistency and time and commitment. and i'm okay with that. i want to look and feel better, but i don't need a drastic change overnight for my self-esteem. and the truth is, that's a big change for me.
clearly, one of many taking place this year, and i'm sure there are many more to come!
fyi, there is also another great site i found that allows you to log food and activities, set goals, etc. it's easy and free.
Monday, March 12, 2007
say cheese!
if you watched the oscars, you'll know, that the single most entertaining moment (no, this is not up for debate) was when ellen degeneres went into the audience and asked stephen spielberg to take her picture with clint eastwood.
perhaps it is my love of cheesy photos, or my complete lack of shame in taking them/having them taken, in completely inappropriate circumstances, but i found it absolutely hilarious. stephen spielberg. taking a picture. ha ha! i especially loved that she made him take two, and gave him direction on the second one!
as promised, ellen did post the photo on her myspace page...
the weekend was quiet, yet productive. i started packing,and was dismayed to learn that it will be warmer in utah than in california while i am IN california. there is something wrong about that. i suppose i will have to learn to live with 70 degree temps!
perhaps it is my love of cheesy photos, or my complete lack of shame in taking them/having them taken, in completely inappropriate circumstances, but i found it absolutely hilarious. stephen spielberg. taking a picture. ha ha! i especially loved that she made him take two, and gave him direction on the second one!
as promised, ellen did post the photo on her myspace page...
the weekend was quiet, yet productive. i started packing,and was dismayed to learn that it will be warmer in utah than in california while i am IN california. there is something wrong about that. i suppose i will have to learn to live with 70 degree temps!
Friday, March 09, 2007
short attention span theater presents: friday
life is full of little contradictions. for instance, i don't like football, but i like football movies.
in an unplanned maneuver, two of my recent netflixes have been football movies. the first was 'invincible.' set in the 70s, mark wahlberg plays a local boy who walks on to the philadelphia eagles.
the second was 'gridiron gang'. set in modern day, dwayne 'the rock' johnson plays a correctional officer at a juvenile detention facility, who decides to turn his little criminals into football players.
both are based on true stories, which is always a good start for me, and both leads are fairly delicious. wahlberg, even with his 70's shag cut is still fine. and despite the furrowed brow, i've been a little in love with the rock since i saw him making valentine's cookies on martha stewart many years ago. the guy is funny.
both movies are tales of the underdog, and who doesn't love an underdog? my preference however, was gridiron gang. while invincible captured the struggle of one man to overcome odds, gridiron gang, instead told a tale of someone who affected change within his circle of influence, so that many could overcome odds. i am almost always moved by stories like this, and their lesson that not only is change possible, but one person can have power to orchestrate it in a meaningful way.
i enjoyed both flicks, and both surpassed expectations, but if i had to recommend one, it would definitely be gridiron gang.
i often forget how much taller i am than most of my girlfriends (most of my guy friends too!), until i see pictures of us standing. it's why i make deb stand on ledges and steps above me.
i don't have anything to do this weekend. on one hand that is a glorious thing, since i don't have to teach. on the other, i don't have anything to do this weekend. maybe i'll start packing. giving myself a week is usually a good idea. and if i start packing, i guess i should do laundry. phew. now i have something to do this weekend.
in an unplanned maneuver, two of my recent netflixes have been football movies. the first was 'invincible.' set in the 70s, mark wahlberg plays a local boy who walks on to the philadelphia eagles.
the second was 'gridiron gang'. set in modern day, dwayne 'the rock' johnson plays a correctional officer at a juvenile detention facility, who decides to turn his little criminals into football players.
both are based on true stories, which is always a good start for me, and both leads are fairly delicious. wahlberg, even with his 70's shag cut is still fine. and despite the furrowed brow, i've been a little in love with the rock since i saw him making valentine's cookies on martha stewart many years ago. the guy is funny.
both movies are tales of the underdog, and who doesn't love an underdog? my preference however, was gridiron gang. while invincible captured the struggle of one man to overcome odds, gridiron gang, instead told a tale of someone who affected change within his circle of influence, so that many could overcome odds. i am almost always moved by stories like this, and their lesson that not only is change possible, but one person can have power to orchestrate it in a meaningful way.
i enjoyed both flicks, and both surpassed expectations, but if i had to recommend one, it would definitely be gridiron gang.
***
last week word came down that they were moving our procurement department from the building next door into this one, which means my having to move to accommodate. the office of any event planner is akin to a black hole of miscellaneous items; leftover awards, flip charts, boxes of name badges, gift bags, more catalogs than one person should have, files on top of files, random gifts from venues like pillows and robes and place card holders. it is organized chaos at best, and disaster at worst, depending on the event season. so the prospect of moving has not been a pleasant one. especially since i am only moving four doors down. yes, it is a bigger office, but if you ask me, it's a lot of trouble for a lot of people for only four doors.
earlier this week i was told by our facilities department (the department that has a crush on me) that i could leave everything on my bookcase and in my filing cabinet. this was sweet relief, and as i watched my hall-mates pack up their cabinets and bookcases, it would seem they made an exception in my case.
i can't officially move until late next week when my new desk arrives, but my new office was vacant as of yesterday. while the guys were moving other folks on the hall, they asked if i needed anything. 'well, whenever you can move my white board and cork board, that would be great.' it was immediately taken care of, which is especially humorous since colleagues of mine have waited upwards of two months to have that 'service' performed. there are most definitely perks to being a 'favorite.'
below is a pic of the madness, and yes, the little boy (in the striped shirt) in the pic is the 'new guy.' he apparently continues to ask other folks about me, and doesn't seem to be put off at having been told 'she only dates mormons.' he did finally speak to me yesterday. his profound first words were 'tara, are you moving today?' what can i say? he's 21.
last week word came down that they were moving our procurement department from the building next door into this one, which means my having to move to accommodate. the office of any event planner is akin to a black hole of miscellaneous items; leftover awards, flip charts, boxes of name badges, gift bags, more catalogs than one person should have, files on top of files, random gifts from venues like pillows and robes and place card holders. it is organized chaos at best, and disaster at worst, depending on the event season. so the prospect of moving has not been a pleasant one. especially since i am only moving four doors down. yes, it is a bigger office, but if you ask me, it's a lot of trouble for a lot of people for only four doors.
earlier this week i was told by our facilities department (the department that has a crush on me) that i could leave everything on my bookcase and in my filing cabinet. this was sweet relief, and as i watched my hall-mates pack up their cabinets and bookcases, it would seem they made an exception in my case.
i can't officially move until late next week when my new desk arrives, but my new office was vacant as of yesterday. while the guys were moving other folks on the hall, they asked if i needed anything. 'well, whenever you can move my white board and cork board, that would be great.' it was immediately taken care of, which is especially humorous since colleagues of mine have waited upwards of two months to have that 'service' performed. there are most definitely perks to being a 'favorite.'
below is a pic of the madness, and yes, the little boy (in the striped shirt) in the pic is the 'new guy.' he apparently continues to ask other folks about me, and doesn't seem to be put off at having been told 'she only dates mormons.' he did finally speak to me yesterday. his profound first words were 'tara, are you moving today?' what can i say? he's 21.
***
i often forget how much taller i am than most of my girlfriends (most of my guy friends too!), until i see pictures of us standing. it's why i make deb stand on ledges and steps above me.
***
i don't have anything to do this weekend. on one hand that is a glorious thing, since i don't have to teach. on the other, i don't have anything to do this weekend. maybe i'll start packing. giving myself a week is usually a good idea. and if i start packing, i guess i should do laundry. phew. now i have something to do this weekend.
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