need some male advice

i have a date next week. a date that i need to get out of. one of my friends just went out with the guy and had a pretty miserable time.

i know what you're thinking, i shouldn't blow him off because of that, but trust me, if she had a miserable time, i will have a miserable time. i wasn't really interested in the guy in the first place. we haven't been communicating for all that long, and mostly i thought 'good for him, he's asking a girl out. what the hell?' i wanted to encourage that kind of behavior in general. but this is looking bad. the report was bad--not to mention that some of the 'specifics' my friend cited, are things that particularly grate on my nerves.

if i have to go on a miserable date, i think i may join a convent. so how do i get out of this? i don't want to be dishonest, but i also don't want to say 'my friend went out with you and said you are a terrible date.'

boys, where's the middle ground?

unsent letters

okay kids, maybe you remember my talking about launching a new blog that would house a collection of unsent letters. letters written for catharsis, or problem solving, or whatever, that were never sent.

well, we are off and running. check it out, and feel free to contribute. anonymous submissions will absolutely be respected.

underwhelmed

i realize it has been a week since my last post, which is atypical for me, but it was a quiet week. i'm not sure if it was party recovery or the ambiguity of not knowing what i'm doing next, but all week i felt as though i was simply putting one foot in front of the other to make it through the day. i have felt a bit under the weather, though not exactly sick, and that probably doesn't help. i think really, i'm just tired. i feel as though i have passed my expiration date here and am starting to spoil.

the desire to move is the only thing that is completely OVERwhelming right now, and it's just not possible for a couple more months. and so i sit and stagnate.

the response to the party has continued to be loud and positive. i've posted my favorite email at the end of this post.

they have started running the 'behind the scenes' piece they did in all our offices. i look fat, but overall am pleased. i'm still waiting for my copy of it, at which point i will watch it on a non-wide screen and take stock of my self esteem before deciding whether or not to post it:)

*****

friday night, anne and i in complete anti-tara fashion, headed up to the formal institute dance being held in annapolis at the naval academy. it was nice, for a change in scenery, but overall depressing. as i scanned the room of 300 or so people, there were perhaps 3-4 guys who met my height and age requirements. two of them were attractive, but they were busy talking to the tiny 21 year old in the fitted hot pink dress. story of my life. at least the company was good, and it gave me the opportunity to see some old (and unexpected) faces.

these things are always entertaining. i can't decide which 'outfit' i liked best, the girl wearing a gray t-shirt under her spaghetti strap red formal, or the girl who wasn't wearing much of anything. mormon 'formal' events are cause for one to sit and scratch one's head. to be fair, it is difficult to find modest formal dresses. to be unfair, i think there is a pretty universal definition of formal, except, apparently, when lds singles are involved.

pics are here.

*****

saturday morning, i spent with lara, nick, and nick's mom karen, taking engagement photos. i think there are a few good ones, and both of them were better sports than i expected them to be. for everyone but me, it's difficult to stand posed, with a perma smile, and they did a great job!

saturday night it was time to get down to business. i had stalled and postponed my lesson preparation for as long as possible. i had a complete mental block and absolutely did not want to teach. but when i finally dug in, it was pretty amazing. i got some really great inspiration, and just had the feeling that it would be an awesome lesson.

i wasn't disappointed, and as i had hoped, the class largely taught themselves. there was a great spirit about it, and it was one of those lessons that makes me feel a little better about teaching. i have to teach again next week, since i'll be in paris for two sundays. the title of the lesson is 'i was blind, but now i see.'

having recently seen the movie 'amazing grace' i'm a little more invested than i was in last week's. i only hope it will yield the same result.

*****

From: SRA Employee Communications
Sent: Monday, April 23, 2007 3:00 PM
To: FWDRichards, Bryan
Subject: RE: 2007 Spring Gala Comments

Bryan --

Thanks for taking the time to pass this along. As you might imagine, an event of this magnitude takes some doing in the planning department. As such, I'll share your feedback with Tara Van Atta, our events guru.

After Saturday, guru seems appropriate.

Thanks, again for passing this along.

Mark

---

From: Richards, Bryan
Sent: Monday, April 23, 2007 2:37 PM
To: SRA Employee Communications
Subject: 2007 Spring Gala Comments

I don’t know the faces at SRA behind the planning and execution of our Saturday night Gala at Udvar-Hazy, but feel compelled to send in my thoughts. I hope this gets to the right people.

My wife and I have gone to most all the holiday and gala events from the Gateway Marriott in 1995 to the one just ended. We were wowed at the venue of Carnegie Mellon Hall, again at the National Building Museum. Very impressive! At Westfields, we were amazed at the variety – rooms, music, food, people. Saturday, beforehand, we wondered just how this would be pulled off, with the ever increasing size of our company and the lines of people wanting food and drink. We knew the location would be a hit, but how could one find a place to sit down, a place to eat?

We were blown away. What a night! How do you top this one?

We got there early and got to see in advance the substantial number of registrars ready to check us in; it was a taste of the fine service that would last the whole night through. We were welcomed graciously. We had lots of real estate to roam that allowed us to drink in the event from the upper catwalks even before the doors opened. All night: room to get around, food without waiting, drinks without waiting, dessert tables to ogle from the first minute, tables to sit at, tables to stand at, pleasant music at appropriate volume, old acquaintances to renew, current acquaintances to share in our surprise. It goes on: a night at the movies, a tower to explore, planes too famous to touch just inches away……..

We had a marvelous evening. If this is this the only time we do something like this, we get to reminisce for years to come; if we get to do it again, let’s not change a thing.

Thank you, party staff. You outdid yourselves. And thank you SRA.

Bryan Richards

PS: The caterers must have this down to a science. How did they do this? You couldn’t get a drink faster on a slow night in the French Quarter!

party time

well, the results are in, and the spring gala was (dare i say it?) flawless. i said it. it was sheer event perfection.

the space shuttle hangar in setup mode

saturday morning began with nails, then hair. hair was traumatic. it's the first time i have had my hair done for one of these things, and it will never happen again. the stylist did not do what i asked, and when i went to pay, i nearly passed out when they told me the cost. i can't bear to repeat it here, as it was such a mistake, but just trust me, it was astronomical.

setup on the main floor

then it was on to pick up my dress from the tailor's. i headed to lara's for makeup, and truth be told, that was the one aspect of my ensemble that i was completely happy with.

while there, i tried on the dress. while far less poofy than it had started, it still wasn't exactly what i had hoped. i think they did what they could, and at that point, it was what it was.

finally, it was time to head over to the venue.

getting the party started

the udvar-hazy center was open during the day, so at 5:30, when the museum closed, mayhem ensued. tables were placed, floral arrangements set, bars set up. i have no idea how many people from the caterer and decorator and av company were on-site, but everywhere you looked, someone was busy doing something.

i watched in awe.

me with my two favorite senior vp's

at 6:30, i headed to the entrance to meet the vip guests and escort them to the pre-party cocktail reception. the reception was held in the tower, which gave them the opportunity to watch the takeoffs and landings at dulles airpot while they mixed, mingled, and enjoyed hors d'oeuvres.

also at 6:30, attendees began arriving. unlike any company i have previously been with, this company is full of early arrivers. though the floor would not open until 7:30, folks began arriving and waited out their time.

co-workers and i

registration was a smooth process with absolutely no glitches. there were no lines, despite the fact that 2800 people went through in the first hour. it was brilliant.

at 7:30, the stanchions were removed and party goers headed down the ramp to the event floor. the party was on.

what the catering staff ate

i would provide more details about the rest of the evening, but really, the only way for me to capture the essence of it is simply to say how incredible it was. people loved the venue, they loved the food. there were bars, food, and seating everywhere, so there was never a line, and never a need to stand if you didn't want to.

we had three showings of 'fighter pilot' in the imax theater, and the nearly 500 seater was filled at each showing. the band was excellent, the people were well-behaved (we've had some real drunkards in the past), and without exception, as far as i can tell, people had a great time. all evening long people were approaching me telling me that this was the best event they had ever attended, and they couldn't believe how perfect everything was.

quikpod self-portrait

it's also worth noting that i sat. and i ate. a first for me at one of these events. but things ran so smoothly that it seemed silly not to.

our senior staff took every opportunity to praise my efforts. in fact, one of our senior vice presidents literally got on his knees as he said 'i bow down before you.' he wasn't even drunk at that point.

the dress also received it's share of compliments, and several times as i walked by, i would hear people commenting on how cute the dress was. and oddly enough on more than one occasion (4 or 5 actually) i was told that i looked like marilyn monroe. a strange comparison in my mind, though it may have been the full(er) skirt.

since i somewhat consider this my last hurrah, i simply cannot imagine a better way to go. the team was incredible, the venue was perfect, and all the details came together beautifully.

my phone is ringing off the hook, i have been stopped in the hall every time i have left my office, and have walked by countless groups of employees 'buzzing' about the event.

leaving on a high note, indeed.

currently i have my photos up here.

i am also waiting for the photos from the photographer, as well as the behind the scenes video piece, and will post when i get them.

a state of mourning

today, the state of virginia is awash in burgundy and orange. it is hanging on trees, it is flying from cars, it is being worn by the slew of virginia tech alumni, family, and friends, that reside here.

i have considered over the last few days what i would say regarding the recent events, or if i would say anything at all. but i find that some things ought not to be kept silent, even if the words lack eloquence.

in large part, i have stopped watching the news. i find that a daily reminder of the atrocities humans are capable of perpetrating on one another is simply more than i can bear. i have the great blessing and curse of feeling too deeply, and were i to allow myself to get caught up in the wave of evil that exists in the world, i would simply drown.

news of monday's tragedy, however, was inescapable. and so i have read, and i have watched. i find that in times like these, i am oft reminded of a quote by c.s. lewis, from the screwtape letters. the devil speaks, and says:

we have made men proud of most vices, but not of cowardice. whenever we have almost succeeded in doing so, God permits a war or an earthquake or some other calamity, and at once courage becomes so obviously lovely and important even in human eyes that all our work is undone, and there is still at least one vice of which they feel genuine shame. the danger of inducing cowardice in our patients, therefore, is lest we produce real self-knowledge and self-loathing, with consequent repentance and humility.

and therein lies the irony. i find that whether it be a terrorist attack, a tsunami, a sniper, a hurricane, or a disturbed mass murderer, i never have so much hope for humanity as i do in the aftermath of tragedy.

heros are born, families join together, an appreciation for life is remembered. people are kind to one another, selfless and sacrificing. they are respectful and thoughtful. and they express love in their words and actions. the human race is never so wonderful and lovely as they are when coping with disaster.

so, while this week's events seem senseless and heartbreaking, the lives lost will not have been in vain, if we let those deaths remind us to be better than we are.