reappearances

i find it fascinating how life seems to operate in cycles. at the moment, aside from being in a sick cycle, i find that now seems to be a time for reappearances.

as of late, several people have popped back in my life unexpectedly. in almost every case the person is someone who seemed to have dropped off the face of the earth for no good reason--or none that i was aware of. but a few of the houdinis are men i've interacted with online who, at the time, decided to pursue other girls. these reappearances are usually clues that things didn't work out.

the strangest and most unexpected of all however, is a guy i knew/met about 12 years ago. back in the day, this whole online world wasn't exactly what it is now. but there was some sort of system--i'm not exactly sure how it was setup--between colleges, that would allow you to interact via chat and im, before chat and im really truly existed. actually, it's funny to think that i have technically been online dating for about 13 years! at any rate, i struck up a friendship with a boy in one of those chat rooms, (aaron, you'll love this) who's interest was peaked by my screen name: raistlin. for those not in the know, raistlin is the name of a pseudo-bad male wizard character in the dragonlance chronicles (letting my inner nerd shine through, here). it was an odd choice of screen name for an 18 year old girl, and perhaps that is what drew david to me in the first place. we had similar interests and passions, and though he was quite a bit older than i (i was 18, he was 21--LOL), there was a connection.

after three or four months of online and phone interaction, he wanted to meet. so, he took the train from new jersey (we were poor college kids with limited means of transportation) to spend new year's with me.

it became clear very quickly that he was interested in romance. in fact, it's the only time anyone's written a song for me (cliche, i know, but i remember it being pretty good). unfortunately though, i didn't return thosemfeelings. i didn't know how to express that without hurting his feelings, so i imagine he probably thought me a very confused girl.

being new year's, i knew that he would see the midnight hour as an "opportunity for clarity", shall we say. so, to avoid that, i concocted some crazy stories and plans, all of which fell through, leaving us in the car, driving, at the fated hour. no opportunity for kissing there.

i don't regret much in my life, but the way i behaved with and to him was something i have always been ashamed of. yes, i was young and i was stupid. but he had made an effort, invested both time and money, and instead of just saying 'i'm grateful for your friendship, but not interested in anything else,' i was aloof, cold, and in some cases just plain mean.

i have thought about him a lot--a lot more than one usually thinks about a brief encounter over a decade past, so when i recently logged into my myspace, i was absolutely shocked to see an email from him. ironically, the subject line said: i promise, you don't remember me

little does he know how often he has been thought of. there was nothing critical in his message, and i'm sure an apology 12 years after the fact is neither something he was seeking or needs, but i find that i am grateful to have the opportunity to give it nonetheless. it isn't often we get a second chance to do the right thing.

more random fun

i am still sick! it's been a week! it's time for this to be over! enough exclamations points?! i'm back at work, but only because i have to be. really i just want to curl up and die.

but instead, i took a quiz.


See What You're Made Of - Visit The Official Site

he doesn't exactly know about this...

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!

since he isn't a frequent reader, i might just get away with this. thanks for the link steph..it is hee-larious!

convalescence, day 4

oh man am i bored.

so, for no good reason, here are movie (trailers) i'm looking forward to.


out now (no comments about how far behind i am, k?):







coming soon:





has anyone seen 'becoming jane'? i simply cannot stand anne suckaway, but aside from that, i want to see it. i need reviews all you austen-o-philes.

and by way of actual updates...well, it's been kind of a slow week. i'm still bed bound for the most part, and have been living on a diet of rita's pina colada italian ice for the last for days, as it's the only thing i can consume that doesn't kill my throat. i got a nice shout out on heidi's blog today. oh, and i'm working on a new playlist (should be up tomorrow). currently, i'm obsessed with a fine frenzy and colbie caillat, and i'm having trouble narrowing down which songs to include, since both albums are hitting the spot in their entireties.

convalescence, day 3

i don't make for a good sick person. i'm kind of a baby. i really hate the whole thing. and this morning i found out that it's strep throat. i haven't had strep since i was, oh, maybe 17? but at 30 (almost 31--august 27th) it seems that it has come back to haunt me.

so i lay here in bed for the 3rd and a half day. i'm bored, i'm grumpy, and i'm in pain.

this also means that i will not be teaching my very last gospel doctrine lesson on sunday. you'd think i'd be relieved, and i guess i'm as surprised as anyone that i'm not. i feel like going out this way is anti-climactic, i guess. on the other hand, the last lesson i taught was pretty killer, so teaching one more time might be anti-climactic in and of itself!

onto happier news..time for a much belated beach recap!

normally by this time of year, i have spent a significant amount of time at the beach. for various reasons, i had not yet been, and lara was gracious enough to help me remedy the situation.

she invited me along with her long time friends kathryn and valerie--both of whom i have met recently in the course of the wedding activities, and i just couldn't pass it up. kathryn and valerie are pretty awesome chicks...and a weekend at the beach? who says no to that:)


so the four of us met in tyson's and loaded up lara's car. we hit typical beach traffic and made it to our hotel around 9, at which point, we got ready and headed to the rudder, a bar/club on the beach in dewey. the band was okay, the company was good.

after we closed the place down, we headed to grotto's pizza for a 'snack' before bed.


saturday morning, we got up and found that the day was a bit gray and drizzly. enough to prevent us from heading down to the beach. so we decided on option 2...the outlet mall! some great items were purchased, lunch was had, and the weather cleared.

we stopped back at the hotel, and then lara, kathryn, and i headed to the beach. valerie wasn't feeling well, so she stayed back at the hotel to get some rest.

it ended up being an absolutely stunning day! the temperature was perfect, the beach wasn't crowded, and the water was warm enough to swim in. swimming though, became a challenge very quickly. we happened to be there during high tide, and kathryn and i got pummeled a bit before we decided we'd had enough. as we left the water, the lifeguard commented that we were 'brave', for battling the waves and strong current.



we dried off and headed back to the hotel, at which point, we started getting ready for dinner.

on our way out, we stopped at cvs to get some drugs for valerie. when we got out of the car, we heard a cat crying loudly. lara was afraid she had hit it, but the rest of us were convinced it was in the bushes.

after the drug store, we headed to dinner, parked our car, and walked the couple of blocks to the restaurant.

after finishing dinner, we headed towards the rudder (where we had parked our car). there were a couple of people hovering at the car, and when we approached, they asked if the car was ours. we said that it was, and they told us we had a cat in the car. yes, that's right. a cat--the cat from cvs, which probably originally came from the hotel--had climbed in to the engine.

it was crying loudly again, and various people stopped to see what was going on. a police officer came to help, and before long we had a crowd. eventually, they (the cop and random guy) were able to locate the cat, and just as the random guy almost had it in his hands, the cat took off and crawled into another car.


this happened a couple more times, and the crowd dissipated. i could tell that the cop had no idea what to do. he looked at valerie and i and said 'i like animals, but clearly not as much as YOU like animals.' i didn't have any sort of solution. the cat, based on it's ability to run from car to car, was okay, but i was concerned that it was only a matter of time before it wound up in a place it couldn't get out of. at a certain point though, there was just nothing more we could do, so valerie and i headed in to the club to rejoin kathryn and lara.


the band was better, the company still good. again we shut the place down.
when we headed back to the parking lot, we could hear that cat again. it sounded like it might be back in our car. but then it sounded like it was in the car behind us. two guys and a girl had just gotten in the vehicle, so we told them they might be harboring a cat fugitive. they got out of the car and we all realized it was in the car next door. the girl, while professing her love of cats, somehow managed to reach far enough inside the wheel well to grab the cat before it escaped. she immediately adopted the small kitten and took it home with her. a perfect and happy ending!

sunday morning, we packed up and made the relatively traffic-free drive home.

all in all, it was a great weekend! good thing, too, since i don't know how much of the outside world i will be seeing THIS weekend;)