opinion poll

okay, answer me this:  when the boy you are supposedly 'in a relationship with' (his words) doesn't call you for a week, nor respond to a text message here or there (not even remotely close to stalking), do you:

A. cut him some slack, knowing that he is simultaneously dealing with a family crisis and traveling for his work,

or

B. RUN

if it's not obvious, this is the strange and unexpected predicament i now find myself in. and before you ask, there is no great big bad thing that happened between us that would warrant the silent treatment, nor any minutely tiny bad thing, as far as i know.  so now i'm torn between wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt and not wanting to be the stupid girl who just isn't getting the hint.

so what say ye, A or B?

on a whim

still feeling in a funk, and having spent entirely too much time alone yesterday, i decided today, on a complete whim, to drive to santa barbara to hang out with my friend jesse.

the two and a half hour drive took me only two hours (and i was barely speeding) and gave me the perfect opportunity to test out my brand new car stereo.  it sounds grander than it is, but up 'til now i've been using an fm tuner to listen to my ipod/iphone in my car.  the trouble with that is that it is nearly impossible to find a 'clean' station in this area, so my music and audio books are usually accompanied by a fair amount of static.

my boss made an offhanded comment about how inexpensive it was to install an auxiliary port and with a car stereo place just up the street from home, i stopped by, and found that he was right.

it was BLISSFUL to make that gorgeous drive sans static. and while without pics, the time itself was a much needed respite.  maybe i didn't even realize HOW much, and it made the 4+ hours on the road so completely worth it.

the good stuff

good stuff #1: seattle is a tricky city.  when you visit in the summer, on a good weather day, it seems as though there is no other city that could rival it.  with all it's green and water and art and music and food, it is not hard to be convinced that it's the country's best kept secret and you should move there immediately.  the trouble is that those good weather days don't last, and if you fall for the trick, you'll spend the large majority of the year thinking that 'good weather day' was just a figment of your imagination.

long distance relationships are similarly tricky.  the befores and afters are miserable, but the durings can be quite amazing.  this during was no exception.  it began with a fantastic hug in an airport and ended with a fantastic hug at a train station.

the during was focused on just spending TIME with one another.  this time around i've made it a point to avoid focusing trips on activities.  while activities can be quite enjoyable, they can also be somewhat distracting. in a long distance relationship, you're at a disadvantage.  you have very little opportunity to learn about someone's 'normal' habits, routines, and perspectives if either of you treat the visit like a vacation.  vacation rules are different rules, and i want to know if he's going to drive me crazy in a grocery store or enjoy my music or be as happy sitting at home watching a movie as he is 'going out.'  as a result, this trip, much like the last, was...normal.

during no. 2 included movies. we watched percy jackson, and the haunting in connecticut, and the mummy, and iron man, and yes, he even took me to see eclipse (the best of the bunch, by the way).

it included books (at least for me it did).  between travel time and bryan's basketball practice.  i finished off the last fablehaven (thanks to nicole for sharing) and started jumping in to the girl with the dragon tattoo. i came home with one of bryan's books, and i may have even read the first chapter of his new acquisition; pride and prejudice and zombies.

it included meeting the parents.  yeah - that was a good one. we went to their ward and over to their house afterwards for some barbecuing and some movie watching.  i'm happy to report that i liked them and i'm pretty certain the feeling was mutual.

it included food.  i was able to meet up with my long-time friend leah for breakfast, and bryan and i, who are both fans of the food network show diners, drive-ins, and dives, were excited to check mike's chili off the list.  

and it included the one 'activity' i did want to check off; a ferry ride across the puget sound.  bryan chose bainbridge island as our destination because they have a bookstore he was sure i would love.  and i did. i also loved the shops and the art and the bakery.  by the time we had finished lunch, the sun was shining in a cloudless sky, and the return ferry ride was spent taking photos and enjoying the blue brilliance.

the trip was perfectly balanced. we had downtime, we had fun time, we had talking time and singing time and silent time, and most of all we had a GOOD time. then there was goodbye time. and that was kind of rough.  

but not as rough as the 'after' i'm in now. did i mention the after is kind of awful? it's probably enhanced by the fact that it's been a difficult couple of days for other reasons, but wow, long distance is no-good-very BAD! i don't know if it's worse this time around or if it just feels worse, but wow.  combine that with my memory of good-weather seattle, and my general lack of enthusiasm for my job, and the idea of packing up and leaving is very tempting.

i'm far too practical for that, of course, but the idea is...definitely...tempting.

good stuff #2: the only thing that made saying goodbye somewhat tolerable was the fact that i was heading to portland to meet my (brand) new niece.  when the trip was planned none of us knew when the baby would arrive, other than that she would probably be late.  

she was indeed late, and by the time i arrived, she was a whopping 8 days old.  newborns grow so fast that you forget how small they are until you have one in your arms.  

and while i know there are many who prefer babies when they've gained 'a personality', i love love love newborns.  i especially love newborns who 'belong' to me. her name is adele jane, and she is my second niece.  since kendyl just turned 6, it's obviously been a long-time since we've had this kind of occasion to celebrate. and the short time i spent with dylan, kelly, and adele was precious.  as you might imagine, it was very low-key, with the big adventure being the walk to the neighborhood market on the corner. 

i guess some might be amused to learn that i met up with my ex, spencer, for breakfast while i was there. he even treated.  it was a good breakfast with good company and i enjoyed the opportunity to do some catching up.  

but mostly i enjoyed holding adele. and of course, the time flew far too quickly.  i'm ready for another vacation and the pacific northwest is calling!

first, the bad stuff

my brain is spaghetti.  tangled and mushy and getting stickier by the minute.  it's been a doozy of a day and i feel like there is so much information to process, but no clue where to start. rest assured, there is good stuff to report, but in an attempt to unload some ick, first, the bad stuff.


bad stuff #1: i found out yesterday that a friend has been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer, which has spread to her bones, and, i believe, her lungs.  radiation treatments began today and will almost surely be followed by chemo.  while she is in relatively good spirits, this is going to be a long journey, and i hope that there will be some respite for her to enjoy and celebrate her upcoming august wedding.

bad stuff #2: i received an EMAIL today from one of my closest friends that she was married. yes, that's right.  while on vacation with her boyfriend in italy, she got married.  and she sent an email. a form email, mind you, where i was bcc'd along with who knows who else. as you can tell, i'm still smarting from the sting, and while i am legitimately thrilled for her, i fear this may be indicative of what's to come, and feel an unexpected sense of loss.

if there is an upside (and there usually is) it's that i am reminded to not be so single-mindedly concerned about what is to come (or not to come) that i forget to appreciate what is.  as president monson has said "the past is behind, learn from it. the future is ahead, prepare for it. the present is here, live it." 

10 steps to iphone madness

Step 1-Go to airport at 'normal' time. Check-in bag, evaluate crowd situation

Step 2-Call FedEx to confirm delivery by 3pm

Step 3-Board the crazy train and drive home to wait, hoping that you will not miss your flight

Step 4-Twiddle your thumbs at home, listening for truck sounds.

Step 5-Upon hearing truck sound run out of the house, sign something, get in car and FLY to airport

Step 6-Arrive at airport with two minutes to get through security before boarding

Step 7-Make it through security in 37 seconds, find a seat at gate while listening to announcement about how your flight is delayed.

Step 8-Reflect on how happy you are to have the phone in hand AND to have not missed your flight

Step 9-Debark the crazy train and return to 'normal' self

Step 10-Post to Facebook