change

change is sort of a funny thing. we long for it, then we fight against it. we wait for it, then realize that sometimes we must affect it. as has now happened in my case.

most of you know that i have been interested in relocating for some time. top contenders have been raleigh,nc and london. i have submitted resumes and waited. and nothing. the irony is that i have an excellent resume. frankly, the depth and type of experience i have is rare in my industry, and i bring with me glowing references from senior personnel. there should be nothing standing in my way to go wherever i want to go. yet, the path always seems to dead end.

upon arriving home from vacation i realized that i was no longer content to just wait, nor did i feel that it was the right thing to do. sometimes, we just have to decide and move forward, and be in tune with the red flags that pop up when we are traveling down the wrong path. i've known that for a long time, but i also believed that when something is right, the doors just open. or basically, i just got lazy. it has never worked that way for me. every success i've ever had has been a result of my picking a direction and moving in it. sometimes a change of direction has been required, but i think it's the movement part that really matters.

at this point, i think i have done all the growing there is to be done in this set of circumstances. since i don't foresee a drastic change being thrust upon me, it's time i create one to allow for continued growth and stretching. i've weighed all the reasonable options and considered a great number of factors, and the ultimate conclusion is this: i'm moving to portland no later than july.

why portland? first and foremost, two of my favorite people live there (who also happen to be closely related to me). there are many other reasons that portland feels like the right choice, none of them having to do with work. and perhaps that is part of the appeal.

finding work in a place other than your home is difficult, and while i will now be engaged in an intense job search, i don't know how much success i will find from here. that's where the deciding to just do it comes in. having made the decision, i realize that it is more important that i be committed to the result and not the process.

potential roadblocks include the job (or lack thereof), and the lack of savings (hence the july time frame). but with the recent changes at work foreshadowing the start of the new ceo, it has become clear that it is time to leave. his new assistant is already being referred to as 'the gestapo' and my first (though far from last) interaction with her today--a five minute phone call--left me quaking a little. not an easy feat, let me tell you!

having family in portland will help. it's my hope that i can slowly start sending my things out west, so that when it's time, i can load up my car with the last bits and go. i also hope that dylan and kelly may be of some assistance in finding suitable housing--as it is especially difficult to find roommates and apartments that will allow for dogs, and it's not an option to leave mine behind. (kelly, if you're reading this before we've spoken, now you know why i've been trying to track you down!) then if i can just be better about saving money, i'll be all set.

sounds easy, right? well, i know it won't be. change never is. and i will likely have to fight myself at every step, because 'same 'ol, same 'ol' is just so much simpler.

if you are someone who believes in prayer, or the power of positive thinking, feel free to send all the prayers and thoughts you can spare in my direction. it certainly won't be unappreciated.

in addition, i know there are a couple of other portlanders or former portlanders who read this blog, and i am not above begging for help. whatever you know, whoever you know, if you think it could be remotely helpful, i will take it. and just keep in mind, i make a mean chocolate peanut butter pie. not that i'd resort to bribery of course.

so. that is the news from lake wobegone, where the women are strong, the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.